Shy people... (?)

Thu Jul 22 05:20:39 PDT 2010

Jon – I have never met a shy person when their passion was aroused. In fact
most of the comments I receive in Open Spaces I have done indicate that  the
shiest people who have never been heard from suddenly find their voice – and
isn’t that surprisingly wonderful, folks say. My favorite story was of a
young black secretary who’s formal group skills ended with WordPerfect. I
mention “black” only because it was a southern, essentially all white male
corporation. This was a “All Hands” gathering starting with the chairman of
the board – some 500 people and a place/time when a young Black secretary
might feel some intimidation. But she stepped right up and claimed “the”
issue for her and all her fellow support staffers. When she finished, there
was a moment of surprised silence a) because the issue had been named. And
b) because this young woman who never said a thing had done it. In that
moment of silence, the young lady turned to me (forgetting I had a hot mike
in my hand) and said, “Harrison, what happens if nobody comes?” I couldn’t
resist – Looking straight at the Chairman of the Board (my client) and
walking slow towards him I said, “Clarissa if nobody comes that will be
clear and indisputable evidence that you are the only person in this entire
corporation who is competent to deal with this critical issue.” Her session
was standing room only and included all the senior officers of the
corporation. Clarissa  led it with elegance and when it was over the issue
had largely been resolved – and of equal importance Clarissa walked out 6
feet off the ground. She had done what she and everybody else knew simply
could not be done. I think you call that empowerment.

My learning from that instance and a number of others of a similar sort is
that while it may be true that some shy people are worried about standing up
in the circle, that shyness disappears in the presence of passion. Further –
when that passion is claimed with responsibility genuine empowerment takes
place. I have never found any reason to attempt some form of preparation of
the people nor to offer assistance other than to hold the microphone. The
folks always take care of the business all by themselves.

Harrison

Harrison Owen

7808 River Falls Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

USA

Phone 301-365-2093

www.openspaceworld.com

www.ho-image.com (Personal Website)

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From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Jon Harvey
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 4:27 AM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Shy people... (?)

Dear all

You won’t be surprised to know that I have never had a problem speaking (and
even performing) in public. This isn’t just because I have a lot of passion
and desire to make the world a better place (and entertain people!) – it is
because I have a good dollop of confidence. I probably blame my parents for
this as they always had lots of confidence in me.

So when it comes to speaking up in an Open Space and saying what session I
would like to run, there is no problem for me. But there does appear to be a
problem for some people. Maybe. When I am facilitating an Open Space, I aim
to do all I can in the introduction to make it easy for anyone, no matter
how shy or lacking in confidence they are, to come forward. Whilst I almost
always step outside of the circle, I hang about near the microphone
sometimes, or not. I place chocolates in the middle to lure people into
declaring their passion and offering to run a session. I look calmly on and
simply ‘be’ when no one is coming forward... (sometimes). 

And then the sponsor says, perhaps people are just too shy, speaking into
the microphone is just too daunting, will you offer to speak for people if
they write it out first, shall I do this, could they just place the meeting
notice on the agenda wall, is Open Space only for confident people, do we
need more structure...? (etc.) I feel uncomfortable, I know that people have
ideas and questions they would like to discuss and I know some people find
speaking to a group (big or small) really, really scary. I want to stay
‘true’ to the principle of passion in OS – but I also want to help... Or am
I in danger of intervening too much? Whatever happens is the only thing
which could have, and whoever turns up is the right people...

I could go on... but I hope you get my gist. 

What do you do? How do you create the space in which everyone who has a
passion, no matter how scared they feel, comes forward with their offer? How
do you make that daunting threshold of speaking to a group, just so ‘right’
that no one feels too shy to come forward – if they want to come forward...?

All the best

Jon

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