Shy people... (?) (or shy systems...?)

Jon Harvey jon at jonharveyassociates.co.uk
Thu Jul 22 10:09:20 PDT 2010


Thank you all for your wisdom and experience. I had a feeling my inquiry
would tap into a rich seam of insights and practice... But where to begin to
respond...! I will take the points in the order they appear in my email
intray: 

 

Mamading: we meet again! (Were you there on Tuesday at NESTA btw – you may
not have spotted me hiding behind a couple croissants with Emmental cheese
in them?!) Do tell us more about these Labs. And, I think implicit, in your
comment is an idea that people and organisations / partnerships / systems /
communities can make more of OS on a second, third, fourth visit etc. I know
that to be true.

 

Barry: the ‘shy’ (and more of that later) people may well hang back and
butterfly, but sometimes butterflies don’t tap into their own passion and
can drift off – actually or mentally or both. I know, que sera, sera
(whatever happens etc.) – but your comment has prompted me to spend more
next time working with the sponsor. (Yes these reflections do all come from
a recent experience.) The sponsor needs to be as relaxed as I am with the
magic of the process.

 

Jack: things are good thanks – bleating (blogging & tweeting combined – term
coined by my wife to refer to my activity in my study / garret) like mad to
get OS & whole system stuff woven into the fabric of the #bigsociety. I like
the idea of a living agenda wall that can ebb and flow – and indeed try to
practice this. Perhaps this Agenda Wall 2.0....? (sort of! – although it
always has been) But I also hear what Lisa says in her later mail.

 

Harrison: Not for the first time, I do wish I could have you as an app on my
smart phone so that I could tap ‘you’ and get an immediate response of ‘this
is what Harrison would do / say!’ Thank you for your story – you are so good
at those – I will endeavour to imbibe fully and remember at a suitable later
date. And you are right of course, it is about passion. I guess I remain
interested in what there can be in the system (see below) or zeitgeist
present whereby people with passion do not come forward... and as a
facilitator what role I have (if any) in ‘tweaking’ the system in advance of
the OS process...

 

Michael: you are correct of course – it is rarely about ‘shyness’ or the
individuals themselves. Indeed it was my reflection on the recent series of
OS that I did – that, in part, there was some ‘leaden’ systemic cultures
present. And quiet is not shy – absolutely true! And there has to be a first
meeting so that there can be a second – when people might ‘dare’ a little
more. As always every OS is a success – but (and back to my earlier point) –
just what that success looks like may not be quite what the sponsor had in
mind – which touches on my role as preparation guide. Their role as
‘inviter’ and ‘open space pilot’ is of course critical.

 

Phelim: I agree, there are some very practical things we can say – I like
your phrases. Again I will seek to imbibe those. Certainly I always aim to
‘be’ and ‘hold the space’ with a gentle and almost wispy presence – quietly
content with the silence. (My father had a piece of gristle on one ear which
made it look a little pointed and he would claim he was half pixie. So, as a
quarter pixie, I try to have a wispy presence...! )  For me making it easy
is a stepping back not a stepping forward. And as for the number of sessions
– in one OS of the recent series, a total of two sessions were proposed...
so near perfect success! It was surprising! The chocolate was good as well.

 

Sharon: You are right – exploring the passion beforehand is critical. In
hindsight, the sponsor was surprised by where the passion was after the
first OS – he (and therefore I as he had briefed me) expected a different
quality of passion to one that we in fact experienced. On reflection, I now
know it would have been wiser to hear a few more of the ‘ordinary’ voices
beforehand. And working through to what is the ‘right’ issue / theme /
question is really, really important.

 

Lisa: Given all of the above, I value your assertion that there can be some,
a small amount perhaps, shyness amongst some people. I think I can sometimes
overlook how ‘heavy’ a microphone is for some people. Maybe I am not alone
in this – although maybe I am. Can you post your ‘face’ on youtube?! But I
think I can imagine it from your description. I do have my ‘face’ too.
(Although there is another debate to be had about where we go after the
intro stuff. I usually step outside the circle – whereas from what you say,
I am imagining you sitting in the circle...???) I need to keep reminding
myself that there is solid presence in silence. Being an extravert – I may
not always see this. And thank you for highlighting the issue of power which
others have touched on too.

 

So again – thank you all for this online tutorial. I feel enriched and
empowered – and not a little renewed too!

 

A sprinkling of pixie dust to you all!

 

Jon

 

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