FW: Buzzards, Bats, and Bumblebees

[Joelle Lyons Everett]

In a message dated 6/8/05 4:35:28 AM, masheikh at COGECO.CA writes:

> What
> do we do if the interest is not in making "the other" aware (and
> perhaps "change"?), but if we wish to make ourselves "more aware"?
>
> I am told by wiser people that we cannot "change the other", only
> ourselves. By changing oureselves, perhaps we can hope that "the other"
> might change as well. I am ASSUMING that my above mumbo jumbo makes sense.
>
Masud--

Yes, your "mumbo jumbo" makes sense.

When I want to make myself more aware, I can ask myself some questions about
why I feel that the other should change his behavior.   Why does her behavior
concern me? Why does his action annoy me?   Is the other acting out something
which I dislike but disown in myself?

I can become aware of my own motivation, perhaps even accept that this
characteristic is a part of me, as well.   Maybe I can refrain from reacting, just
hold space for myself and the other.   Maybe in this larger space, I can feel
compassion for myself and the other, and some connection between us.

This is not the only approach, of course, but it is one that sometimes helps
me.   Not easy work.

Joelle



>

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