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In a message dated 6/8/05 4:35:28 AM, masheikh@COGECO.CA writes:<BR>
<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE CITE STYLE="BORDER-LEFT: #0000ff 2px solid; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px" TYPE="CITE"></FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" FACE="Geneva" FAMILY="SANSSERIF" SIZE="2">What<BR>
do we do if the interest is not in making "the other" aware (and<BR>
perhaps "change"?), but if we wish to make ourselves "more aware"?<BR>
<BR>
I am told by wiser people that we cannot "change the other", only<BR>
ourselves. By changing oureselves, perhaps we can hope that "the other"<BR>
might change as well. I am ASSUMING that my above mumbo jumbo makes sense.</FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" FACE="Geneva" FAMILY="SANSSERIF" SIZE="2"><BR>
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Masud--<BR>
<BR>
Yes, your "mumbo jumbo" makes sense.<BR>
<BR>
When I want to make myself more aware, I can ask </FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" FACE="Geneva" FAMILY="SANSSERIF" SIZE="2"><I>myself</I></FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" FACE="Geneva" FAMILY="SANSSERIF" SIZE="2"> some questions about why I feel that the other should change his behavior. Why does her behavior concern me? Why does his action annoy me? Is the other acting out something which I dislike but disown in myself? <BR>
<BR>
I can become aware of my own motivation, perhaps even accept that this characteristic is a part of me, as well. Maybe I can refrain from reacting, just hold space for myself and the other. Maybe in this larger space, I can feel compassion for myself and the other, and some connection between us.<BR>
<BR>
This is not the only approach, of course, but it is one that sometimes helps me. Not easy work.<BR>
<BR>
Joelle<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
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