Raffi, genocide and OST

Wed Apr 20 11:44:59 PDT 2005

Dear Raffi, 

I just would like to inform you that a strong discussion has been going on among us ( in the mail groups, with close friends some of
whom studied history in different countries) about Armenian Genocide. This is for you to know that we as civil people are not ignorant.

But what i would like to say you is that whenever i hear or read about the word " genocide" i feel very bad, down and helpless....because
there is nothing to talk after that point.

I wouldn't like to participate to an OST about what happened in 1915 or genocide but i would be very willing to participate to an OST about how 
we can cooperate and collaborate better...how we can build a better future for our children...and somethings like that.     

Funda       

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Filiz Telek 
  To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 
  Sent: Wednesday, April 20, 2005 3:39 PM
  Subject: Re: inner aggression and the OST facilitator

  Dear Raffi.

  It's been really interesting to read your genuine insights and thought process about inner aggression.thank you for that! 

  I am writing because your call to hold space for Armenian Genocide urged me to share with you all my experience, as a Turkish person as well as a world citizen. 

  I've been blessed with being able to travel and live abroad from an early age which changed my life. It wasn't until my early 20s though that I had heard about the Armenian Genocide. An Armenian friend of mine had explained to me how today's eastern Turkey was Armenian land and what happened in 1915. I remember the shock and how threatened I felt.it was like a bad joke.but in reality it wasn't. 

  I am afraid I still don't know today the details of what happened during that time. Not because I don't care, not because I am ignorant. I had a much stronger experience than I could have by reading books about the genocide. Due to my work, I traveled to Armenia last year to work with the local Habitat organization there.to be honest, I was anxious, I did not know what to expect. But it turned out to be one of the most powerful experiences of my life. I have never been received by any group of people with such warmth, and generosity and openness. Believe me, it was beyond the typical Armenian hospitality. I had the feeling that people embraced me even more because I was very much connected with their history. I was simply there, working with them and being open, and all it took was to acknowledge what happened in 1915. I was a silent witness of the pain. I listened to stories, I visited the genocide monument. I learned to be humble.there was no aggression, there was just sadness. When I stood near the Turkish border and looked up at Ararat, I wondered why this border had to divide these two people so distinctly.that was the aggression in my mind, and as a counter image I envision that border wide open and both people freely traveling some day. The Armenian lady who hosted me and fed me so well during my time there, told me the story of her father who was a genocide survivor. She told me that he lost his whole family, yet he was saved by a Turkish neighbor.his father didn't even speak Armenian when he finally  made his way to Yerevan, he just spoke Turkish.

  I did not literally do open space in Armenia but I felt I met Armenian people in open space, in a very humane space. At a personal level, there was such a strong connection, I felt extremely alive and inspired. In fact, one of my biggest dreams is to hold an open space with Armenian and Turkish people together some day.so people can experience what I experienced: going beyond their fears, threats and stereotypes by simple being together in healthy dialogue with open minds and hearts. Remembering our centuries old close connections and just replacing the aggression and the ignorance with that connection. Political system managed to keep our people separate for a long time but I believe the civil society can awaken us, especially Turkish society to this sensitive issue. 

  I just wanted to say that I am moved by your call and I will hold inner and outer space on April 24th, I will also share this with my dear Armenian friends and colleagues. 

  Thank you once again. Maybe we can host an open space together for Turkish and Armenian people some day. J

  filiz 

  every day is a good day

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Raffi Aftandelian
  Sent: Wednesday, April 20, 2005 9:36 AM
  To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
  Subject: Re: inner aggression and the OST facilitator

  [oops! I sent the previous message without finishing writing it; a

  Spirit trick?]

  Hi dear fellow openspacers!

  I want to continue expressing my profound gratitude. I am really

  enjoying this conversation. I would like to backtrack for a moment and

  talk about what brought me to this conversation.

  Being in the season of the teacher right now on the medicine wheel

  means one of the things I am working with right now is discernment.

  When I first put out this question, I am not sure I contextualized it

  as much as I could have.

  I want to speak to one of my projections (on to the listserv) right now. I am worried that

  people might be thinking that I am opening space in a really weird

  way. I have never used strong language (besides "oh shit") in the opening, but I do now know

  that I have a much stronger initial awareness of my aggression than

  ever before. And now, I can give a group much more quality in opening

  space. Thanks to you!

  I ask these questions because I am extremely motivated to do this OST

  work with excellence. It would be great if I were motivated to commune

  with One just because there is a One, but it is OST (and the Genuine

  Contact Program) that has motivated me to really look at myself with a

  German/Swiss/Japanese/Russian precision magnifying glass. And so when

  I ask these questions I instantly make the connection with the life

  work which has the deepest meaning for me. 

  Doing anything, I imagine, can be a path to communing with the sacred (I am a little shy about really exploring "doing anything" right now as I wonder can prostitution, for example, also be a path to communing with the sacred). 

  Sometimes Quakers call themselves a "priesthood of all believers." I think if we choose to live intentionally as a Community of OST facilitators, we can be the same-- and take this even further to be a monastic order. I see that this listserv has bits and pieces of this. The issue of Community I would like to come back to at a later point.

  Michael, your teaching about anger was extremely valuable. I think I

  am starting to suffer from wisdom overload-- what depth I am hearing

  here as a consequence, and it will take a while to digest this all! As

  I shared offlist, I have heard such valuable responses that I want to

  print them out and carry them with me. (Might this be a variation of

  the event Ralph Copleman mentioned-- "Poetry in your pocket day"?).

  Just knowing that the energy of that wisdom is in my pocket would be

  wonderful!

  Lisa, you asked what made me sad (and again thank you for making space

  for me to human). I can only begin to talk about this,

  because I think it goes much deeper. I am/was sad because there is a

  realization that at a very deep (but not core, I hope) level, I am

  doing this work for ME. My prime motivator for doing this work is that

  it has meaning and it brings ME joy. There is a part of me that

  doesn't care about people, doesn't care when misfortune falls upon

  others. And I want to befriend that part of me, to unsurface her (yes,

  for whatever reason "she" came up). Your thoughts about being fully

  human and being present were very helpful to see/hear.

  This Saturday I have a workshop coming up (using not OST but Whole

  Peson Process Faciltiation in this case). And I all along have been

  visualizing the workshop, noticing where there is nervousness (this

  will be a professional conference of trainers, facilitators, coaches

  -- and while they know me, this will be the first time I will be

  presenting on my own; I keep on wondering what to do to take ME out of

  the room for the workshop. Yes, it is great to enjoy  what I am doing.

  But, to paraphrase what a zen master might say, the next challenge is

  to let the @#$%## thought go...

  When I started this thread, I remembered about a book that is just the

  bible, I imagine, for dealing with the very issue. And I took it off

  my shelf. It's called Sitting in the Fire: Large group transformation

  using conflict and diversity, by Arnold Mindell (founder of

  process-oriented psychology). It is full of exercises on surfacing and

  befriending all of our facilitator demons. Time to use this book?

  I opened it randomly today to p.200:

  "Watch your own high dreams as a facilitator. Do they call for people

  to change? As I pointed out in the last chapter, an elder assumes that

  people are exactly what they are meant to be. Perhaps they are full of

  mundance characteristics like greed, envy, vengefulness and

  abusiveness. Can you accept them? Better yet, can you change yourself

  to love them?

  Try seeing your own enemies, friends, and neighbors as they are in the

  moment, not as you would like them to be. Although they are your

  friends today, remember that next week they may be your attackers.

  Remember that, historically, very few people have managed to uproot

  from themselves the tyrant, the monarch, the oppressor, the abuser or

  the one seeking revenge. It's we learn to expect negativity and to

  move with it.

  Luckily blasting a high dream to bits does not always result in

  permanent depression. When we look back, it may seem as if our high

  dreams had to be exploded in order to prepare the ground for an even

  more comprehensive view of the world."

  One of my dreams is to somehow marry processwork and OST. One day that

  may very well happen.

  Mindell is coming to St. Petersburg in May. I am holding space for

  myself to be able to attend this workshop.

                                   ******

  Another result of working with the medicine wheel is that for the

  first time I have begun thinking seriously about my ancestors. What

  gifts have my ancestors given me?

  I think one of the biggest gifts my parents have given me is a radical

  honesty.

  And, my father in a phone call today reminded me of an important

  anniversary coming up: April 24th is the 90th anniversary of the

  Armenian Genocide. I am 1/2 Armenian and 1/2 Italian by blood. I don't

  speak much Armenian and almost no Italian.

  I have never taken this date terribly seriously. But this initial

  curiosity about my ancestors and aggression makes me want to write a

  little publicly about this.

  The Armenian Genocide is a still unacknowledged atrocity. 1.5 million

  Armenians died over 20 years at the hands of the Ottoman Empire

  --1896-1915. I would like to ask those who feel moved to to hold inner

  (and outer) space

  on this date. I am not sure what kind of intention would be best to

  put here-- maybe just to ask for awareness in all humans (ask for

  awareness for self).

  I notice the resentment I sometimes feel at some Jews because they see

  talk about anything but the Holocaust as a treading on toes. There was

  the Holocaust, period; there were no other genocides.

  And yet, I know that somewhere in that resentment is a denying of my

  own humanity and the person I am engaging with at the moment.

  And I learned recently that I do have a connection to the Holocaust,

  too. My great aunt (my Armenian grandmother's sister) was married to a

  Jew (a banker representing the Rothschild family) from Tbilisi,

  Georgia. My greatgrandmother refused to let her daughter, Margo, to

  marry a Jew. She demanded that he get baptized in the Armenian Church

  before getting married, which he did.

  From what we learned a few weeks back, Ilya Bunimovich died in the

  Holocaust...What happened to Margo is not clear.

  Raffi

                            mailto:raffi at bk.ru

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