for glory

[Glory Ressler]

Dearest Chris,
Yes... the courage to face the roar, walk into fire, re-emerge...

>I guess I'm taking my chances
trading in my things
for a couple wings on a
little white dove

and one big love
one big love
one big love<

Oh Chris! So true...  I am so frustrated!  I know what I love, I
believe, I am called to do and the roaring is so loud, the heat
intense... I'm losing my faith that there is a place for me here :-(
Geez, I'm balling like a baby now!  I respect your ability to hit the
mark so consistently and sensitively.

In December, I hit a bit of a crisis point - physically and
spiritually...
My energy was very low (constantly tired) and I felt generally unwell.
No clear diagnosis has been established and in lieu of other
interventions, I struggle to eat well, exercise, and give up an
addiction to the occasional cigarette.

Emotionally, I hit bottom when I realized that I could no longer afford
to keep my primary associate on in our small firm.  The hard truth was
that, once I paid her, my overhead, etc..., I wasn't taking home enough
to meet our personal financial obligations!  At the same time, my
associate was able to vacation in Europe!  I was extremely disheartened
(personally) by this, although happy for her and her husband. I felt so
sad that I wasn't able to offer the same opportunities for my beloved
Rob and Avalon!  This spins off into a whole other fear ride about our
intended move to Ireland (read: brother, I can't even make enough money
to stay afloat, never mind finance such a move)

Synchronistically, I was coming to understand that high-profile others
(in the field of storytelling in orgs) were advocating a rigorous
scientific approach to studying its impact... complicated models,
metrics, etc... I am extremely disheartened by this - not because it
isn't valuable - but because, in the process, the heart of this work
dries up.  Story being used to INFLUENCE and INFORM rather than INVOLVE.
And a lack of understanding regarding the limitations of measurement,
and the perils of over-measuring. .

“When the very notion that there is one true story is thrown into
question, people begin to realize that any story is just a story. They
are free to invent stories of their own that serve the purpose of any
narrative: to provide a framework of meaning and direction so that a
life may be lived intentionally.” [Parry, A. & Doan, R. E., Story
Re-Visions: Narrative Therapy in the Postmodern World (The Guilford
Press, 1994)]

I long to do that sort of work in service to the notion that we can
consciously evolve ourselves, our organizations, and our world! And I
have no vehicle, presently, to do so... :-(
This has lead me to fear that there is no place for what I do or at
least no way for me to attract clients... and I loop back to the $$$
worries.

Spiritually, I feel blocked on my 'life purpose' question. My passion is
around the work with story (and its place in OST, as well) and I have
fallen into the trap of wondering if maybe I am wrong or something is
wrong with me because the work isn't coming.  This is a deeply rooted
fear and I am in the middle of this process. From my current pained
perspective, it looks as though others don't experience these
challenges, or feel them as I do, or at least don't speak of them. And I
feel alone.

Pray for me, please.

Thanks for listening.  Please feel no pressure to respond AND know that,
if you choose to, your reply would be deeply appreciated and welcomed
into both my head and my heart.

Best wishes,
glory
'If it isn't a happy ending, our story isn't over yet.'

Chris Weaver wrote:

> > Anyone else out there been bitten by the fear bug lately? (fear of
> > financial insecurity, fear of physical health and/or safety, etc...)
> Tips
> > and words of encouragement would be humbly and gratefully received,
> > ingested, and digested for nutrients.
>
> Hi Glory my friend,
>
> I've missed you and wondered how you are.
> Ever listen to Emmylou Harris?  Just before I read your post I was
> washing dishes listening to Red Dirt Girl.  She's a relentlessly
> courageous artist...a face-the-roar,
> walk-into-the-fire-and-out-the-other-side artist, and she's still
> singing in my mind (song by Patty Griffin & Angelo):
>
> let's take a ride to the seaside
> we can go out swimming in the high tide...
>
> everybody's gone to the movies
> everybody's gone and it's groovy
> they went to the one about the big war
> I didn't - I'd seen it before
>
> I guess
> I'm takin my chances
> giving up the ring, throwing in my gloves
>
> I guess I'm taking my chances
> trading in my things
> for a couple wings on a
> little white dove
>
> and one big love
> one big love
> one big love
>
> chris
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