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Dearest Chris,
<br>Yes... the courage to face the roar, walk into fire, re-emerge...
<p><font color="#800080">>I guess I'm taking my chances</font>
<br><font color="#800080">trading in my things</font>
<br><font color="#800080">for a couple wings on a</font>
<br><font color="#800080">little white dove</font>
<p><font color="#800080">and one big love</font>
<br><font color="#800080">one big love</font>
<br><font color="#800080">one big love<</font>
<p>Oh Chris! So true... I am so frustrated! I know what I love,
I believe, I am called to do and the roaring is so loud, the heat intense...
I'm losing my faith that there is a place for me here :-(
<br>Geez, I'm balling like a baby now! I respect your ability to
hit the mark so consistently and sensitively.
<p>In December, I hit a bit of a crisis point - physically and spiritually...
<br>My energy was very low (constantly tired) and I felt generally unwell.
No clear diagnosis has been established and in lieu of other interventions,
I struggle to eat well, exercise, and give up an addiction to the occasional
cigarette.
<p>Emotionally, I hit bottom when I realized that I could no longer afford
to keep my primary associate on in our small firm. The hard truth
was that, once I paid her, my overhead, etc..., I wasn't taking home enough
to meet our personal financial obligations! At the same time, my
associate was able to vacation in Europe! I was extremely disheartened
(personally) by this, although happy for her and her husband. I felt so
sad that I wasn't able to offer the same opportunities for my beloved Rob
and Avalon! This spins off into a whole other fear ride about our
intended move to Ireland (read: brother, I can't even make enough money
to stay afloat, never mind finance such a move)
<p>Synchronistically, I was coming to understand that high-profile others
(in the field of storytelling in orgs) were advocating a rigorous scientific
approach to studying its impact... complicated models, metrics, etc...
I am extremely disheartened by this - not because it isn't valuable - but
because, in the process, the heart of this work dries up. Story being
used to INFLUENCE and INFORM rather than INVOLVE. And a lack of understanding
regarding the limitations of measurement, and the perils of over-measuring.
.
<p>“When the very notion that there is one true story is thrown into question,
people begin to realize that any story is just a story. They are free to
invent stories of their own that serve the purpose of any narrative: to
provide a framework of meaning and direction so that a life may be lived
intentionally.” [Parry, A. & Doan, R. E., Story Re-Visions: Narrative
Therapy in the Postmodern World (The Guilford Press, 1994)]
<p>I long to do that sort of work in service to the notion that we can
consciously evolve ourselves, our organizations, and our world! And I have
no vehicle, presently, to do so... :-(
<br>This has lead me to fear that there is no place for what I do or at
least no way for me to attract clients... and I loop back to the $$$ worries.
<p>Spiritually, I feel blocked on my 'life purpose' question. My passion
is around the work with story (and its place in OST, as well) and I have
fallen into the trap of wondering if maybe I am wrong or something is wrong
with me because the work isn't coming. This is a deeply rooted fear
and I am in the middle of this process. From my current pained perspective,
it looks as though others don't experience these challenges, or feel them
as I do, or at least don't speak of them. And I feel alone.
<p>Pray for me, please.
<p>Thanks for listening. Please feel no pressure to respond AND know
that, if you choose to, your reply would be deeply appreciated and welcomed
into both my head and my heart.
<p>Best wishes,
<br>glory
<br><i>'If it isn't a happy ending, our story isn't over yet.'</i>
<p>Chris Weaver wrote:
<blockquote TYPE=CITE><font color="#0000FF">> Anyone else out there been
bitten by the fear bug lately? (fear of</font>
<br><font color="#0000FF">> financial insecurity, fear of physical health
and/or safety, etc...) Tips</font>
<br><font color="#0000FF">> and words of encouragement would be humbly
and gratefully received,</font>
<br><font color="#0000FF">> ingested, and digested for nutrients.</font>
<p>Hi Glory my friend,
<p>I've missed you and wondered how you are.
<br>Ever listen to Emmylou Harris? Just before I read your post I
was washing dishes listening to Red Dirt Girl. She's a relentlessly
courageous artist...a face-the-roar, walk-into-the-fire-and-out-the-other-side
artist, and she's still singing in my mind (song by Patty Griffin &
Angelo):
<p><font color="#800080">let's take a ride to the seaside</font>
<br><font color="#800080">we can go out swimming in the high tide...</font>
<p><font color="#800080">everybody's gone to the movies</font>
<br><font color="#800080">everybody's gone and it's groovy</font>
<br><font color="#800080">they went to the one about the big war</font>
<br><font color="#800080">I didn't - I'd seen it before</font>
<p><font color="#800080">I guess</font>
<br><font color="#800080">I'm takin my chances</font>
<br><font color="#800080">giving up the ring, throwing in my gloves</font>
<p><font color="#800080">I guess I'm taking my chances</font>
<br><font color="#800080">trading in my things</font>
<br><font color="#800080">for a couple wings on a</font>
<br><font color="#800080">little white dove</font>
<p><font color="#800080">and one big love</font>
<br><font color="#800080">one big love</font>
<br><font color="#800080">one big love</font>
<p>chris</blockquote>
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