[OSList] Satire from the Washington Post - for all Wordsmiths out there.

[Romy Shovelton]

Thank you SO much…. The is utterly hilarious…. I’m sitting here laughing out loud !! 😀

> On 26 Feb 2022, at 21:09, Mark Carmel via OSList <oslist at lists.openspacetech.org> wrote:
> 
> ENGLISH Mensa Invitational - for lexophiles
>  
> The Washington Post Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
> 
> -------------------------------------------------
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 
> 
> 
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
> 
> 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
> 
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
> 
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 
> 
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 
> 
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
> 
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
> 
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
> 
> 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit)
> 
> 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
> 
> 12. Decafalon(n):The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
> 
> 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 
> 
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 
> 
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
> 
> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
> 
> 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 
> 
> 
> 
> The WashingtonPost has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
> 
> And the winners are:
> 
> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 
> 
> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 
> 
> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
> 
> 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
> 
> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 
> 
> 6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
> 
> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
> 
> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
> 
> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
> 
> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
> 
> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. 
> 
> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 
> 
> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 
> 
> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 
> 
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
> 
> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
> 
> 
> _._,_._,_
> 
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Romy Shovelton
Executive Director

Wikima & the 5* Tyddyn Retreat 
Mid Wales Venue & Holiday Cottages
www.walescottageandvenue.com

romy at walescottageandvenue.com
romy.shovelton at gmail.com
+44 (0) 7767 370739

Tyddyn y Pwll, Carno, Caersws
Powys, SY17 5JU, Wales, UK

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