[OSList] Satire from the Washington Post - for all Wordsmiths out there.

[Chris Kloth]

Thanks, Romy.

With all of the mess going on in the world at the moment I needed a good 
laugh, and I love word humor. I especially like coffee! 😂

Shalom,

Chris Kloth
Principal/Lead Consultant
ChangeWorks of the Heartland
254 South Merkle Road
Columbus, OH 43209-1801
Ph: 614-239-1336
Cell: 614-907-2409
Fax: 614-237-2347
Email:chris.kloth at got2change.com
Web:www.got2change.com

Pronouns: he, him, his

White Silence is Violence

Think Globally, Act Locally

On 2/27/2022 12:08 PM, Romy Shovelton via OSList wrote:
> Thank you SO much…. The is utterly hilarious…. I’m sitting here 
> laughing out loud !! 😀
>
>> On 26 Feb 2022, at 21:09, Mark Carmel via OSList 
>> <oslist at lists.openspacetech.org> wrote:
>>
>> *ENGLISH Mensa Invitational - for lexophiles*
>> *The Washington Post Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to 
>> take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, 
>> or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.**Here are the 
>> winners:
>> *
>> *-------------------------------------------------
>> *1.* Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the 
>> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>>
>>
>> 2.* Ignoranus*: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>>
>> 3.* Intaxicaton*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until 
>> you realize it was your money to start with.
>>
>> 4.* Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>>
>> 5.* Bozone* (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops 
>> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows 
>> little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>>
>> 6.* Foreploy*:Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of 
>> getting laid.
>>
>> 7.* Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>>
>> 8.* Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the 
>> person who doesn't get it.
>>
>> 9.* Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>>
>> 10.* Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease.*(*This one got extra credit)
>>
>> 11.* Karmageddon*: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these 
>> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's 
>> like, a serious bummer.
>>
>> 12.* Decafalon*(n):Thegrueling event of getting through the day 
>> consuming only things that are good for you.
>>
>> 13.* Glibido*: All talk and no action.
>>
>> 14.* Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter 
>> when they come at you rapidly.
>>
>> 15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after 
>> you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>>
>> 16.* Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into 
>> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>> *
>> *17.* Caterpallor* (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm 
>> in the fruit you're eating.
>>
>>
>>
>> *The WashingtonPost has also published the winning submissions to its 
>> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate 
>> meanings for common words.
>>
>> And the winners are:
>>
>> *1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>>
>> 2.* Flabbergasted*,adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one 
>> has gained.
>>
>> 3. *A**bdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>>
>> 4.* Esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>>
>> 5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.
>>
>> 6.* Negligent*, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing 
>> only a nightgown.
>>
>> 7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp.
>>
>> 8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>>
>> 9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has 
>> been run over by a steamroller.
>>
>> 10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>>
>> 11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.
>>
>> 12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by 
>> proctologists.
>>
>> 13. *Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>>
>> 14. *Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with 
>> Yiddishisms.
>>
>> 15. *Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul 
>> flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>>
>> 16. *Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by 
>> Jewish men.
>>
>>
>> _._,_._,_
>>
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>
> *Romy Shovelton
> *Executive Director
>
> Wikima & the 5**Tyddyn Retreat
> Mid Wales Venue & Holiday Cottages*
> www.walescottageandvenue.com <http://www.walescottageandvenue.com>
>
> romy at walescottageandvenue.com
> romy.shovelton at gmail.com
> +44 (0) 7767 370739
>
> Tyddyn y Pwll, Carno, Caersws
> Powys, SY17 5JU, Wales, UK
>
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>
>
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