[OSList] Grief, Griefwork and Renewal -- The core of our work, I think

Harrison via OSList oslist at lists.openspacetech.org
Wed Apr 15 08:26:24 PDT 2015


Dan – You are right. Doesn’t seem to be a forest fire here, but maybe a
small smolder. As for the inability/unwillingness to talk about Grief
Working – nothing new or strange. It has been that way for my whole
professional life, which would take it back to 1960 when I got my first
honest job. And I have it on very good authority that the situation has been
pretty constant for the duration of human history.  All that said, I think
your little “saying” puts it pretty well –

 

*	Most change creates grief.
*	Most learning is change. 
*	Therefore, most learning creates grief. 

 

My inclination would be to put in more absolute terms, but your phrasing
does pretty good. The bottom line is that Life is Change, and  Change, of
whatever sort and no matter how small, involves an ending. It used to be
“this” way – but now no longer. That’s over. There is a new way. Ending. New
Beginning.

 

Both change and ending may seem small and inconsequential, but it is
worthwhile remembering that my “minor change” may be your “calamitous
disaster.” As a senior executive I may find it necessary for some sort of
“Force Reduction.” From where I sit, it is a very minor thing, all in a
day’s work, as they say. But if you happen to be part of that Force, the
picture is rather different. It could be the end of a dream, a way of life.
Serious indeed. 

 

I guess that is all pretty obvious, but it does make the point, I think,
that every part of an organizations’ life, as indeed all of life itself is
in constant change. It’s all flow. It’s all ending. It’s all new beginning.
All with the inescapable corollary: Griefwork is a constant, everyday
reality.

 

Presuming any of this is true, it is also something that we would rather not
talk about. For one thing, there is a lot of pain, which we would choose to
avoid. For another thing, the notion that somehow we are in control is
simply laughable. Sorry about that.

 

What we won’t talk about just gets buried. Unfortunately what is buried most
usually comes to the surface, inevitably at a most inconvenient time. One of
the truly tragic, and funny in a way, elements of our common human behavior,
is the lengths to which we seem prepared to go in keeping the unspeakable
unspoken. And it really is a conspiracy of silence. 

 

It would be convenient if we were to be able blame just one group and
absolve all the rest. Senior executives, for example. They say they are in
charge, so clearly they are responsible! But it really is a conspiracy with
full participation from all hands – which would include managers, workers,
customers, politicians, drop outs... Nobody really wants to call the shot.
The Emperor is buck naked!

 

Most of the time, we just try to avoid the essential conversations. But when
backed into a corner, we do our very best to sugar coat the pill. The
consultant community (we know who they are) are pretty good at this, after
all they do have to make the sale and pay the rent. But the end results are
ridiculous nostrums branded as “Change Management,” “Painless Programs for
Paradigm Shift” and so many more as to be uncountable.  And just to be very
clear, we need to add Open Space Technology to that list whenever good old
OST is offered as some special process or program we have created and “do.” 

 

So anyhow, I do think that Griefwork is critical to Life – including life as
experienced in Open Space. It really is something worth talking about, I
think.

 

Harrison

 

 

 

Winter Address

7808 River Falls Drive

Potomac, MD 20854

301-365-2093

 

Summer Address

189 Beaucaire Ave.

Camden, ME 04843

207-763-3261

 

Websites

www.openspaceworld.com

www.ho-image.com

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OSLIST Go to:
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From: OSList [mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org] On Behalf Of
Daniel Mezick via OSList
Sent: Saturday, April 11, 2015 6:54 AM
To: oslist at lists.openspacetech.org
Subject: Re: [OSList] Grief, Griefwork and Renewal -- The core of our work,
I think

 

Hi All, Hi Harrison, 

I continue to watch this thread carefully since it first appeared. (Thank
you for it Harrison...) 


And I am noticing this thread is not really catching fire...yet.


I first ran into the org-level Griefwork concept in the SPIRIT book. 

Since then I've been paying close attention to how grief might actually be
playing out in process-change initiatives in my own work "coaching" Agile in
organizations. 

And after doing this for more than a few years, I conclude that yes, indeed,
the grief cycle is often behind (or underneath) what is going on.

And the reality is that this org-grief concept is what informed the early
stages of the design of Open Agile Adoption (OAA,) a method to get a rapid &
lasting Agile adoption. 

Ditto for Prime/OS, a method for gently introducing any kind process-change
into any kind organization. 



Now the reality is that, in my experience, typical executives in typical
orgs are not ready to talk to about PLAY. So I have to use the word
"experimentation" instead. 

And they are not ready for the concept of "self organization" so I have to
use "high performance" instead. 

Given this reality, it's unlikely these execs- the folks who write the
checks- are ready, willing and able to discuss grief and Griefwork. (I tried
it once and it didn't take.)

All of that said, the design of OAA with before/after Open Space and 100
days in between is greatly informed by the Griefwork content found in the
SPIRIT book. I teach a module on grief in the OAA class and mention it a
little bit in the forthcoming book, but  do not go too far with it because,
well, you know. 

But with OAA practitioners and teachers I do give the subject good treatment
and tell the more complete story of how OAA is designed to deal in org-level
grief of the development & evolution of organizations. As a result I am
always sending them to that "cult classic", the SPIRIT book (!)




Now this quote in Harrison's (and Peggy's) story about USWEST really hit me:

"...Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide redesign (Process
Re-Engineering) had failed massively leaving anger, frustration and
confusion in its wake."

Now as everyone knows I continuously rant on the futility of mandating
"process-change" and "new practices" like Agile, without gaining the consent
of the people affected by the change. 

I rant on and on about the way Agile adoptions are typically arranged from
the top, in authority terms, and how the teams that do the work are assumed
to be perfectly happy about this, and in fact love the new way of working. 

And how that is rarely (if ever) the case, and how that under-the-surface
resistance (and even resentment) can and will just TORPEDO the best of
intentions with respect to getting a rapid and lasting adoption. 





And so it was (and is) with some interest that I noted this report about
"process re-engineering" in the USWEST story. 
I'm guessing the "re-engineering" was issued from "on-high." 

I'm also guessing that the people who were affected (that would be just
about everyone,) were probably not consulted first. 

Probably not asked to express what they wanted, what they thought or what
they felt about it. 

In other words, I'm guessing that "process re-engineering" at USWEST was
implemented as a mandate, not an invitation. 

And that, for most participants, the experience was very triggering. 

And cause for more than a little grief.

Kind of like the typical Agile adoption in the typical large corporation
today?


Lately I've been fond of saying:

*	Most change creates grief.
*	Most learning is change. 
*	Therefore, most learning creates grief. 


Now, this may or may not be true. Either way- we know grief needs and wants
to be processed.

This seems to be especially true for organizations, and the USWEST story
seems to bear this out. 

Unless I am totally wrong, and USWEST actually started in Open Space, and
set aside about 100 days to try it out the "process re-engineering" stuff
for a while, and then did another Open Space after that?


And so: thanks again for this essay, Harrison. I am enjoying it.


Daniel 



PS 
I notice that in the book REALITY IS BROKEN by Jane McGonigal, she lists
various "happiness hacks" and one of them is: "reflect on your own passing,
for 5 minutes a day." She claims that doing so tends to increase human
happiness. Funny how that works...



Related links:
www.OpenAgileAdoption.com
www.Prime-OS.com






On 3/27/15 1:00 PM, Harrison via OSList wrote:

Grief and Griefwork are central to the human experience and evolution. To
the extent that Open Space is a useful forum in which human experience and
evolution may take place, both grief and Griefwork are critical elements.
The process itself cannot be rushed. It will proceed at its own pace through
the several phases, none of which can be skipped or short changed, for each
phase contributes an essential element towards the final goal, which is
renewal. No doubt grief is painful, and the process itself is, as the name
implies, real work, but it is good work. In totality, and contrary to the
popular perception, it is not sad. Indeed it is triumphal, even joyful,
creating the way for letting go of what has ended, and leading to new life.
Not bad for a day’s work! 

 

The ground breaking work describing the Griefwork Process was done by
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying.” It was mind
blowing. In one fell swoop she gave meaning to one of life’s most painful
experiences: Grief. Yes it was, and is, a pain, but pain with genuine gain.
>From the terrible moments of ending, something innate draws us forward. From
Shock and Anger, through Denial on to letting go and resolution. We move on.
We don’t have to invent it, even think it. Happens all by itself, every
time, and all the time – if we just let it. And that is a critical point...
we have to let it happen. We can slow it, even abort it, but doing so leaves
us in a life of grief with no resolution. 

 

Kübler-Ross’s focus was on the individual response to Death. My focus has
always been on the larger agglomeration of individuals which we call
organizations, what they are and how they develop and transform. And the
more I thought about it, and lived deeply in the heart of many
organizations, it occurred to me that Griefwork was very much present and
critical. At points of ending, all sorts of endings, the process would
start, sometimes with the whole organization involved. Shock/Anger, Denial,
Memories, Despair, Open Space, Vision – those were my descriptors, and yes,
Open Space had nothing to do with meetings. For me it was that incredible
balance point between what was and what would become. I’ll spare you the
details, but if you are interested it is all there in my first book,
“Spirit: Transformation and Development,” which is yours for a mouse click
at http://openspaceworld.com/Spirit.pdf  

 

Open Space Technology was a late comer in all of this, definitely a funny
thing on the way to the future – until it began to dawn on me that
everything I had experienced and described under the heading of Griefwork in
Organizations showed up in that “funny thing.” Which is why I ended up
calling it Open Space. “Technology” was merely an afterthought, and mostly a
joke. 

 

When an organization is in deep pain caused by market shifts, corporate
raiders, internal conflict, international disorder – whatever – The process
of Griefwork kicks in. The initial response is shock and Anger, blame and
confusion. “They did it!” “How could it happen to us?” Old ways end. New
ways are much less than obvious. And the process rolls on! Should such an
organization find itself sitting in a circle, creating a bulletin board...
if would be fair to say that the Griefwork Process is the script of the
emerging drama. Unwritten, unplanned, maybe unknown – but very much there,
if you just take a moment to see. And if you have never been in such a
situation, you can in fact see it in a remarkable video of USWEST, thanks to
Peggy Holman. http://vimeo.com/25251316 

 

Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide redesign (Process
Re-Engineering) had failed massively leaving anger, frustration and
confusion in its wake. In one part of the USWEST world, The State of
Arizona, it had all gone critical. Somehow, Peggy Holman and her colleagues
managed to bring in Open Space, which is marvelously depicted by the video.
When asked to describe the course of events over the three day gathering,
one participant said (in reference to the second day), “Today I think we are
searching for solutions for what we were bitching about yesterday.” There it
is. The passage from shock and anger onto vision and renewal. But don’t just
listen to the words. The “body language” is even more compelling. In the
opening circle you will see a phalanx of angry faces, arms folded, jaws set.
Skip to the end and it is practically a love in. And no, we did not script
it! 

 

Knowing that Griefwork is central to the fabric and flow of an Open Space is
interesting. But becoming familiar with the essential elements of Griefwork
and their contribution to the process of healing and renewal can provide a
powerful point of insight for anyone who has undertaken the role of
facilitator. It is not  so much about guiding, or somehow directing, the
process, which simply can’t be done. It is about deepening our awareness of
what is actually taking place. At the very least this awareness will provide
some comfort and orientation in an otherwise confusing situation for the
facilitator. 

 

Should it occur, as it often does, that the first day is filled with
acrimony, blame, and anger... all mixed with an apparent unwillingness to
face the facts of ending, this is not something that can or should be
“fixed.”  It is simply the age old process of Grief doing its work. The
natural tendency to attempt soothing the rough waters, and bring about some
“rational” future oriented discussion will do no good at all, and in fact is
counter-productive. The likely result is that the process will be aborted
and driven underground. A superficial “peace” may be restored, but genuine
healing and renewal are denied.

 

Comforting a fevered facilitator is the least of the gifts that knowledge of
the Griefwork process confers. More important are the clues and cues such
knowledge provides to the facilitator, guidance on the most effective ways
to hold the space. When shock and anger are rampant, the critical role is to
keep the space wide open. This means serious Presence and Invisibility, and
if that seems to be too hard an assignment, I suggest the “Chair Exercise.”
Find a good solid chair, place it in an out of the way corner, but with a
view of the action. Sit in the chair, and hold onto the seat with both hands
– HARD. Whenever you are tempted to jump in and solve the situation, go
ahead but keep holding onto the chair. You will feel pretty ridiculous, but
the lesson will be immediate. Sit Down!

 

As the Work of Grief moves along, new opportunities for the facilitator will
appear. This is not the time or place to list them all, and my best effort
will be found in the second half of my last book, “Wave Rider,” called the
“Wave Rider’s Guide to the Future.”
http://www.amazon.com/Wave-Rider-Leadership-Performance-Self-Organizing/dp/1
576756173/ref=sr_1_3?s=books
<http://www.amazon.com/Wave-Rider-Leadership-Performance-Self-Organizing/dp/
1576756173/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427472738&sr=1-3&keywords=harriso
n+owen> &ie=UTF8&qid=1427472738&sr=1-3&keywords=harrison+owen I am under no
illusion that my efforts represent the “Last Word,” indeed I sincerely hope
that they will constitute an invitation to each and every one of you to
explore and share your experience and findings. 

 

I am quite sure, however, that Griefwork is not a process we can design,
program, or direct. It will happen as it always has – on its own timetable.
But we can help. Of more immediate concern is the fact that we will have
massive opportunities for exploration and assistance. Any fair reading of
our current world order (is that an oxymoron?) tells us that there will be a
lot of endings, most of them painful, but all of them potential for new
beginnings. We have a lot of work to do.

 

Harrison

 

 

Winter Address

7808 River Falls Drive

Potomac, MD 20854

301-365-2093

 

Summer Address

189 Beaucaire Ave.

Camden, ME 04843

207-763-3261

 

Websites

www.openspaceworld.com

www.ho-image.com

OSLIST To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of
OSLIST Go to:
<http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org>
http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org

 






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