[OSList] Grief, Griefwork and Renewal -- The core of our work, I think

Daniel Mezick via OSList oslist at lists.openspacetech.org
Sat Apr 11 03:54:08 PDT 2015


Hi All, Hi Harrison,

I continue to watch this thread carefully since it first appeared. 
(Thank you for it Harrison...)


And I am noticing this thread is not really catching fire...yet.


I first ran into the org-level griefwork concept in the SPIRIT book.

Since then I've been paying close attention to how grief might actually 
be playing out in process-change initiatives in my own work "coaching" 
Agile in organizations.

And after doing this for more than a few years, I conclude that yes, 
indeed, the grief cycle is often behind (or underneath) what is going on.

And the reality is that this org-grief concept is what informed the 
early stages of the design of Open Agile Adoption (OAA,) a method to get 
a rapid & lasting Agile adoption.

Ditto for Prime/OS, a method for gently introducing any kind 
process-change into any kind organization.



Now the reality is that, in my experience, typical executives in typical 
orgs are not ready to talk to about PLAY. So I have to use the word 
"experimentation" instead.

And they are not ready for the concept of "self organization" so I have 
to use "high performance" instead.

Given this reality, it's unlikely these execs- the folks who write the 
checks- are ready, willing and able to discuss grief and griefwork. (I 
tried it once and it didn't take.)

All of that said, the design of OAA with before/after Open Space and 100 
days in between is greatly informed by the griefwork content found in 
the SPIRIT book. I teach a module on grief in the OAA class and mention 
it a little bit in the forthcoming book, but  do not go too far with it 
because, well, you know.

But with OAA practitioners and teachers I do give the subject good 
treatment and tell the more complete story of how OAA is designed to 
deal in org-level grief of the development & evolution of organizations. 
As a result I am always sending them to that "cult classic", the SPIRIT 
book (!)




Now this quote in Harrison's (and Peggy's) story about USWEST really hit me:

/"...Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide redesign 
(Process Re-Engineering) *had failed massively *leaving anger, 
frustration and confusion in its wake.//"/

Now as everyone knows I continuously rant on the futility of mandating 
"process-change" and "new practices" like Agile, without gaining the 
consent of the people affected by the change.

I rant on and on about the way Agile adoptions are typically arranged 
from the top, in authority terms, and how the teams that do the work are 
assumed to be perfectly happy about this, and in fact love the new way 
of working.

And how that is rarely (if ever) the case, and how that 
under-the-surface resistance (and even resentment) can and will just 
TORPEDO the best of intentions with respect to getting a rapid and 
lasting adoption.





And so it was (and is) with some interest that I noted this report about 
"process re-engineering" in the USWEST story.
I'm guessing the "re-engineering" was issued from "on-high."

I'm also guessing that the people who were affected (that woudl be just 
about everyone,) were probably not consulted first.

Probably not asked to express what they wanted, what they thought or 
what they felt about it.

In other words, I'm guessing that "process re-engineering" at USWEST was 
implemented as a mandate, not an invitation.

And that, for most participants, the experience was very triggering.

And cause for more than a little grief.

Kind of like the typical Agile adoption in the typical large corporation 
today?


Lately I've been fond of saying:

  * Most change creates grief.
  * Most learning is change.
  * Therefore, most learning creates grief.


Now, this may or may not be true. Either way- we know grief needs and 
wants to be processed.

This seems to be especially true for organizations, and the USWEST story 
seems to bear this out.

Unless I am totally wrong, and USWEST actually started in Open Space, 
and set aside about 100 days to try it out the "process re-engineering" 
stuff for a while, and then did another Open Space after that?


And so: thanks again for this essay, Harrison. I am enjoying it.


Daniel



PS
I notice that in the book REALITY IS BROKEN by Jane McGonigal, she lists 
various "happiness hacks" and one of them is: "reflect on your own 
passing, for 5 minutes a day." She claims that doing so tends to 
increase human happiness. Funny how that works...



Related links:
www.OpenAgileAdoption.com
www.Prime-OS.com





On 3/27/15 1:00 PM, Harrison via OSList wrote:
>
> Grief and Griefwork are central to the human experience and evolution. 
> To the extent that Open Space is a useful forum in which human 
> experience and evolution may take place, both grief and Griefwork are 
> critical elements. The process itself cannot be rushed. It will 
> proceed at its own pace through the several phases, none of which can 
> be skipped or short changed, for each phase contributes an essential 
> element towards the final goal, which is renewal. No doubt grief is 
> painful, and the process itself is, as the name implies, real work, 
> but it is good work. In totality, and contrary to the popular 
> perception, it is not sad. Indeed it is triumphal, even joyful, 
> creating the way for letting go of what has ended, and leading to new 
> life. Not bad for a day’s work!
>
> The ground breaking work describing the Griefwork Process was done by 
> Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying.” It was 
> mind blowing. In one fell swoop she gave meaning to one of life’s most 
> painful experiences: Grief. Yes it was, and is, a pain, but pain with 
> genuine gain. From the terrible moments of ending, something innate 
> draws us forward. From Shock and Anger, through Denial on to letting 
> go and resolution. We move on. We don’t have to invent it, even think 
> it. Happens all by itself, every time, and all the time – if we just 
> let it. And that is a critical point... we have to let it happen. We 
> can slow it, even abort it, but doing so leaves us in a life of grief 
> with no resolution.
>
> Kübler-Ross’s focus was on the individual response to Death. My focus 
> has always been on the larger agglomeration of individuals which we 
> call organizations, what they are and how they develop and transform. 
> And the more I thought about it, and lived deeply in the heart of many 
> organizations, it occurred to me that Griefwork was very much present 
> and critical. At points of ending, all sorts of endings, the process 
> would start, sometimes with the whole organization involved. 
> Shock/Anger, Denial, Memories, Despair, Open Space, Vision – those 
> were my descriptors, and yes, Open Space had nothing to do with 
> meetings. For me it was that incredible balance point between what was 
> and what would become. I’ll spare you the details, but if you are 
> interested it is all there in my first book, “Spirit: Transformation 
> and Development,” which is yours for a mouse click at 
> http://openspaceworld.com/Spirit.pdf
>
> Open Space Technology was a late comer in all of this, definitely a 
> funny thing on the way to the future – until it began to dawn on me 
> that everything I had experienced and described under the heading of 
> Griefwork in Organizations showed up in that “funny thing.” Which is 
> why I ended up calling it /Open Space/. “Technology” was merely an 
> afterthought, and mostly a joke.
>
> When an organization is in deep pain caused by market shifts, 
> corporate raiders, internal conflict, international disorder – 
> whatever – The process of Griefwork kicks in. The initial response is 
> shock and Anger, blame and confusion. “They did it!” “How could it 
> happen to us?” Old ways end. New ways are much less than obvious. And 
> the process rolls on! Should such an organization find itself sitting 
> in a circle, creating a bulletin board... if would be fair to say that 
> the Griefwork Process is the script of the emerging drama. Unwritten, 
> unplanned, maybe unknown – but very much there, if you just take a 
> moment to see. And if you have never been in such a situation, you can 
> in fact see it in a remarkable video of USWEST, thanks to Peggy 
> Holman. http://vimeo.com/25251316
>
> Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide redesign 
> (Process Re-Engineering) had failed massively leaving anger, 
> frustration and confusion in its wake. In one part of the USWEST 
> world, The State of Arizona, it had all gone critical. Somehow, Peggy 
> Holman and her colleagues managed to bring in Open Space, which is 
> marvelously depicted by the video. When asked to describe the course 
> of events over the three day gathering, one participant said (in 
> reference to the second day), “Today I think we are searching for 
> solutions for what we were bitching about yesterday.” There it is. The 
> passage from shock and anger onto vision and renewal. But don’t just 
> listen to the words. The “body language” is even more compelling. In 
> the opening circle you will see a phalanx of angry faces, arms folded, 
> jaws set. Skip to the end and it is practically a love in. And no, we 
> did not script it!
>
> Knowing that Griefwork is central to the fabric and flow of an Open 
> Space is interesting. But becoming familiar with the essential 
> elements of Griefwork and their contribution to the process of healing 
> and renewal can provide a powerful point of insight for anyone who has 
> undertaken the role of facilitator. It is not  so much about guiding, 
> or somehow directing, the process, which simply can’t be done. It is 
> about deepening our awareness of what is actually taking place. At the 
> very least this awareness will provide some comfort and orientation in 
> an otherwise confusing situation for the facilitator.
>
> Should it occur, as it often does, that the first day is filled with 
> acrimony, blame, and anger... all mixed with an apparent unwillingness 
> to face the facts of ending, this is not something that can or should 
> be “fixed.”  It is simply the age old process of Grief doing its work. 
> The natural tendency to attempt soothing the rough waters, and bring 
> about some “rational” future oriented discussion will do no good at 
> all, and in fact is counter-productive. The likely result is that the 
> process will be aborted and driven underground. A superficial “peace” 
> may be restored, but genuine healing and renewal are denied.
>
> Comforting a fevered facilitator is the least of the gifts that 
> knowledge of the Griefwork process confers. More important are the 
> clues and cues such knowledge provides to the facilitator, guidance on 
> the most effective ways to hold the space. When shock and anger are 
> rampant, the critical role is to keep the space wide open. This means 
> serious Presence and Invisibility, and if that seems to be too hard an 
> assignment, I suggest the “Chair Exercise.” Find a good solid chair, 
> place it in an out of the way corner, but with a view of the action. 
> Sit in the chair, and hold onto the seat with both hands – HARD. 
> Whenever you are tempted to jump in and solve the situation, go ahead 
> but keep holding onto the chair. You will feel pretty ridiculous, but 
> the lesson will be immediate. Sit Down!
>
> As the Work of Grief moves along, new opportunities for the 
> facilitator will appear. This is not the time or place to list them 
> all, and my best effort will be found in the second half of my last 
> book, “Wave Rider,” called the “Wave Rider’s Guide to the Future.” 
> http://www.amazon.com/Wave-Rider-Leadership-Performance-Self-Organizing/dp/1576756173/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427472738&sr=1-3&keywords=harrison+owen 
> I am under no illusion that my efforts represent the “Last Word,” 
> indeed I sincerely hope that they will constitute an invitation to 
> each and every one of you to explore and share your experience and 
> findings.
>
> I am quite sure, however, that Griefwork is not a process we can 
> design, program, or direct. It will happen as it always has – on its 
> own timetable. But we can help. Of more immediate concern is the fact 
> that we will have massive opportunities for exploration and 
> assistance. Any fair reading of our current world order (is that an 
> oxymoron?) tells us that there will be a lot of endings, most of them 
> painful, but all of them potential for new beginnings. We have a lot 
> of work to do.
>
> Harrison
>
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>
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>
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>
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>
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>
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>
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>
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>
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-- 

Daniel Mezick, President

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