[OSList] Conflict and Caring

Suzanne Daigle sdaigle4 at gmail.com
Sat Jul 28 07:11:40 PDT 2012


Dear Harrison,

Thank you for this lovely note. Reminded me of my late dad who would speak
so angrily at times wanting us all to join the fight on issues that he felt
to be unfair. Too many to name! Under the surface of his heated
disposition, was his dismay, sadness and frustration for the little guy.
Outrage and caring bubbling inside with occasional outbursts, expressed in
words and emotions that could not convey what he wanted to say. As the
oldest child, I was the conciliator, the one who would try to hold the
peace, seeking harmony and hoping to squelch the turmoil.  Neither approach
very effective though there was at the heart, a lot of caring mixed in with
the tad of arrogance that rears its ugly head when we fight, try to control
or show ourselves as the ones who know better than others,  the stuff that
makes us vulnerably human which we sometimes call leadership! Yup, a lot of
stuff under this caring and conflict -- much of it hidden inside of us, not
always having a place to show up and keep us safe.

Which brings me to the magic of Open Space, this thing that's always been
there operating in the background of life.

The gift that you, Harrison, and others introduced over a quarter of a
century ago with this Law of 2 feet, a few principles sprinkled in and some
simple rules of the road to navigate us from marketplace to meaty,
meaningful and powerful conversations which are then made transparent for
all to see on a news wall and in a briefing book-- it's a gift that defies
descriptions. It can only be experienced.

*Open Space creates the space for conflict and caring to show up*, for us
to see that in our differences, we are "mates" that are very much the same.
That's what happens in Open Space....the inside of who we are gets to show
up, instead of us just seeing each other in snippets from the limited
impressions of how we appear to each other on the outside. No dress
rehearsal, no lengthy strategic plan, no time-consuming coodination of
speakers schedules, and presentations. We just get to be together on the
court of life, in the now, with all that we know and care about, really
sharing and hearing each other on the issues that matter to us, to see
beyond our first impressions which then makes us *want *to get to work, to
make a difference together. It's a healthy big start in the right
direction.

A tad long what I've written. Truth be told, when I ran across Open Space 3
to 4 years ago, it changed my life and today I am as awestruck and
passionate about it as I was when I first experieced it. Perhaps it is the
stirrings in my soul from the London Olympic games. The Opening Ceremonies
and what's ahead are also the result of lots of caring and
conflict.Suddenly people everywhere, are like what happens in Open Space,
sitting in a circle (in the stands, on the court, on couches and kitchen
chairs), brimming with hope, pride, and anticipation knowing there is still
lots of work ahead but also knowing that an entire world is united in this
opening of space as the games begin.

I imagine the same spirit at the WOSonOS in London this coming October,
when Open Space folks join their British hosts, sharing all of the passion
and purpose we have around this Open Space work that we hold dear, letting
conflict and care show up in the multiple sessions, knowing that these are
the ingredients of great connection, learning, creativity, fun,
transformation and life-long friendships. I can attest to those friendships
and the deepening of my understanding and practice of Open Space after
going to Taiwan, Berlin, Chile, parts of the US and Canada, with colleagues
and clients and others.
So as our wonderful organizers, Phelim and others, from lands near and far,
prepare for October WOSonOS and as we watch the Olympics, rivetted in our
seats, I'm hoping that many of you, who have not done so yet, decide to
make this historical trip to London, to revel with others in this thing
called World Open Space on Open Space that will happen in the historical
year where the Olympics have just been.  A chance to be with Harrison and
so many who write often on the OS list and others who hold the space,
reading and doing what they do in their own more quiet way.

Brimming on this second Olympic day from Florida!
Suzanne
On Jul 28, 2012 7:37 AM, "Harrison Owen" <hhowen at verizon.net> wrote:

> Caring and Conflict seem almost like polar opposites – but as Marie
> suggests, they are integrally related, I think. I had a neighbor who was
> described as “the most even tempered man in town – Always mad!” It was kind
> of a joke, but after knowing him for 40 years I came to see that his anger
> was actually a manifestation of the deep caring he felt, but could not
> fully express. Because of an odd combination of social pressures and norms
> he never had the space to be the caring person he was. Sad! So I think it
> is true: Show me a situation where there is no conflict, and I will show
> you a situation where nobody cares.****
>
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