speaking from the center

Fri Nov 19 04:06:57 PST 2010

Dear Michael (first) and all the other amazing people who have spoken here
also,

Meshing the physical, the words, the feel, the intention: how well you have
described this Michael starting with the beautiful example of the wheel
chair. In that moment, I somehow felt what it must feel like to be sitting
in a wheel chair and how often, they must feel people tower over them. Not
wanting to tower over people by being too close can also happen as my eyes
meet those of the participants so I apply this same intention leaving
private space for people to breathe into what they are feeling, nervous,
uncomfortable, etc. That's why as I let my eyes meet those of the
participants walking the circle for the first times, with some people it may
only be a split second, with others a tiny bit longer. I want to honor and
respect their physical space and internal space.

I also just love the transition you describe from the focus on you to the
group beginning to focus on itself while walking the circle. Harrison
mentions how he invites the group to let their eyes go around the circle;
your description brings awareness to this transition.

And then finally, the pre-work you speak of in weeks and months) which I
have also experienced, feeling at times it is a journey of mutual courage to
accompany a client and a team as they wrestle with the difficult moments of
inviting people to something that they cannot fully describe as most often
they have not experienced open space themselves.  I am always humbled by
their trust and the deep relationship that develops.

 But oh my....what I have understood so "*painfully" *just now is what I
have done wrong too many times, "caring too much" for the theme, sometimes
almost more than the sponsor or host.  When the theme touches my sense of
values and principles, I become so energized...too energized during the
pre-work and I know now (painfully but with such appreciation to you Michael
for bringing it to a very deep awareness for me) that in doing so I was
consuming space that belongs to the host and the group.  Learning this and
practicing this will be my next very big challenge. I also realize now that
by engaging too much on the theme with the host, it can make the post-work
all the more difficult. I think that perhaps my relationship with the
host/team may be too close.

 Now to lighten the topic a bit, I agree Harold that it's so wonderful
walking the circle when we know some or many of the participants.  I've
often thought of opening space is the same way that I like to welcome people
to my home.  Typically in the most comfortable way possible (not too stuffy
or fancy or to impress) I prepare everything ahead (food, space, dishes,
fridge full, welcoming, tidied up and clean with time before they arrive for
me to relax and imagine them there). Then my mission is to have my home
become their home, no hosting or working/serving just showing them where
stuff is and then letting everyone be equal to just relax and have a great
time.

 Hugs to all, smiling now as I think of all this wonderful insight for
Eleder, who in the end need only remember to just be himself and enjoy.

 Suzanne

On Fri, Nov 19, 2010 at 5:44 AM, Michael M Pannwitz <mmpanne at boscop.org>wrote:

> A few years ago I badly strained my foot and could move about only in a
> wheel chair... which I also did facilitating an open space with 200
> highschool students on the issue of racism ("Me, a racist?" was the theme).
> I did feel very relaxed being "de-elevated" and at the same level with the
> students as I "walked" the circle.
> Reflecting on that experience I now always take care to have a circle of at
> least 10 meters in diameter so that I am not too close to the seated
> participants, too towering as I walk (my habit is to walk it once or a bit
> more than once, sometimes two times... changing my mode of movement after
> that "focusing the group" part which I do with the idea that the group
> begins to focus on itself... and eventually using the entire space as a
> dancer would on a stage with the idea that it is a space that can be used in
> all ways possible).
>
> On prework: I do work intensively with the sponsor and the planning group
> on all aspects of the event sometimes months before the OS event itself with
> the result that I get to know them, they get to know me and, of course, I
> also get to know about their theme and what it is they want to achieve.
> All that I now consider a side-effect.
> What I am really interested in is that they craft their event and that they
> are clear on their theme and on what they want to achieve.
> I, however, focus on the myriad of things that I know support their work:
> the space, the time, the material, the food, the documentation
> technicalities, the public address system, the team, the briefing of the
> sponsor, facilitating the planning meeting and the Next Meeting(s) after the
> event... and, of course, getting myself into the mysterious mode of
> "presence and invisibility".
> Essentially, my relationship with the theme will not substitute their
> passion for it. I respect it, yes. And my relationship with the people which
> inadvertendly developes is much less essential than the spirit that
> developes in the Planning Group, for instance. I love them, yes.
> My experience is that me getting into the theme (more than even the
> participants) or my relationship with the Planning Group becoming intensive
> (more than the relationship between the members of the Planning Group) can
> deflect the focus in a way that both my presence and invisibility necessary
> for my focus on space and time for the forces of selforganisation are
> deminished.
> Greetings from Berlin
> mmp
>
>
> Harold Shinsato wrote:
>
>>  Great sharings from all around...
>>
>> This might also help... something I read in a book about llama care.
>> Llamas don't like to be touched normally, but if you do it often enough they
>> become desensitized and won't mind being touched and handled. The same is
>> true for a lot of things humans don't feel comfortable about - at first.
>> It's one of the reasons Lisa's training was so valuable for me - getting
>> experience walking and talking in the circle "desensitizes" to the
>> discomfort so one can spend more time tuning into the energy of the room and
>> being what they need from me as a facilitator. That's also a lot easier when
>> I already feel I have a relationship with the theme and the people because
>> of strong pre-work (another thing Lisa emphasizes).
>>
>> It has also helped knowing a lot of the people in the room - getting a
>> chance to talk make eye contact even before getting into the circle, and
>> having some friendly faces to help remember it's all good.
>>
>> And the trick that Harrison mentioned is also something that Dale Carnegie
>> put in his "How to Win Friends and Influence People" classic. If you feel
>> nervous, just admit it and move on. The transparency puts people at ease and
>> you stop having to fight wondering whether anyone is noticing that you are
>> nervous.
>>
>>    Harold
>>
>>
>>
>> On 11/18/10 9:42 PM, Lisa Heft wrote:
>>
>>> Hello, dear Eleder - once again you ask great questions.
>>>
>>> Everyone has shared so wonderfully.
>>> The only things I would add are:
>>>
>>> In my Open Space Learning Workshop one of the things folks do is practice
>>> walking and talking in that circle.
>>> And yes - others have mentioned as you have their concern with having
>>> their backs to someone as they speak.
>>>
>>> What they have found is similar to what was mentioned here - if you look
>>> a few people ahead and keep moving (slowly, breathing, present) you are
>>> indeed never having your back to anyone for very long. If you turn your head
>>> as you move you are including people behind you as you travel, as well. If
>>> your voice is loud enough or you have a microphone everyone can hear you
>>> even if you are not facing everyone.
>>>
>>> Of course this is all different if some people in your circle have any
>>> hearing differences such as deafness or other hearing loss - so it is always
>>> good to ask on registration forms who has any access / ability / mobility
>>> issues they would like to bring to event coordinators' attention. Then you
>>> have this extra info if you need it for some individuals, and can give them
>>> extra eye contact or some notes as well.
>>>
>>> *
>>> /
>>> It is true that having too small a circle and towering over people is
>>> hard for them - so do make a nice big circle with room in between each
>>> chair. And if it is too small on the inside I see no problem with walking
>>> the outside of the circle (though when I have done this some of my OS
>>> colleagues have *gasped* !.  But it is so I do not close everyone in too
>>> tightly, in those instances.
>>>
>>> I have also learned from my workshop participants that if you have any
>>> nervousness about looking people in the eye, try instead....looking at the
>>> tops of their heads (!).
>>> It often feels like you are looking at them - try it.
>>>
>>> But I think you will become more and more comfortable as you practice,
>>> sort how you like to say things, and experience yourself doing it more and
>>> more.
>>>
>>> Sometimes if it is a tense event to come - I may set up the circle and
>>> then walk, it, before any participants arrive. And I envision the
>>> participants and their listening faces, and I smile and welcome them before
>>> they get there.
>>>
>>> Mostly - Suzanne said it so well: it is of course not about you. It is
>>> about them. So if you focus on them and on making your voice and the
>>> instructions something they can hear and that invites them, then once you
>>> begin you are in partnership with them - and they can feel it...
>>>
>>> And the other 'mostly' is: remember you are in your walking, your
>>> breathing, your explaining - creating a container that is open and welcoming
>>> and has tools and a process - so that they can do their best work.
>>> You are with your walk, your voice, your instructions, your breathing...
>>> weaving that open and inviting container. And in your walking you are
>>> invoking (calling in) energy.
>>> And you know how to do that, dear Eleder - just.... breathe.... and ...
>>> go.... and be amazed, as I know you are....
>>>
>>> Lisa
>>>
>>> Lisa Heft
>>> /
>>> *
>>> Consultant, Facilitator, Educator
>>> *Opening Space*
>>> lisaheft at openingspace.net <mailto:lisaheft at openingspace.net>
>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Harold Shinsato
>> harold at shinsato.com <mailto:harold at shinsato.com>
>> http://shinsato.com
>> twitter: @hajush <http://twitter.com/hajush>
>>
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>
> --
> Michael M Pannwitz, boscop eg
> Draisweg 1, 12209 Berlin, Germany
>
> ++49-30-772 8000
> mmpanne at boscop.org
> www.boscop.org
>
>
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-- 
Suzanne Daigle
NuFocus Strategic Group
7159 Victoria Circle
University Park, FL 34201
FL 941-359-8877;
CT 203-722-2009
www.nufocusgroup.com
s.daigle at nufocusgroup.com
twitter @suzannedaigle

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