speaking from the center

Fri Nov 19 10:50:15 PST 2010

Here is a story from today, 'speaking from the circle', this time the Circle 
line of the London Underground. The amazing Jon Harvey, friends Winston Moore 
and Anthony Albert Moore Bastos and myself undertook a small experiment - we 
'opened space' on a sunny subterranean Friday afternoon between station stops 
with travellers hopping on and off with fellow strangers - what kind of space, 
we are now asking [whyis certainly another question - see 
www.scarletwindmill.blogspot.com] ? Well we each felt the sanctity of the 
internal space - the independent and private and protected individual 
passenger...the very British reserve in two of our team, and the very Bolivian 
warmth of the other two. We encountered the solo, the coupled, the groups, 
different personalities, different moods, different reactions - a (surprising? 
assumptions becoming conscious) large proportion wanted to connect, to engage, 
to support the idea of direct human communication (in unexpected context, 
contrasting the exclusion that comes with those engrossing phones and web-based 
garrulousness) - so many non-Brits so adamant that London is a friendly and 
chatty place, the word 'sorry' comes before the offensive gesture, the 
ear-phones were readily removed, the wary smiles wanting to be reassured - and 
of course we were at our least intimidating/weird [entirely subjective I guess] 
- and plenty of others did not get disturbed through unconscious/unobservable 
collusion. Jon feared that standing over the seated passenger would be wrong, I 
felt that this made me seem less committed/imposing than sitting besides....our 
young colleague was boldest in inviting strangers to converse with each other 
(bypassing our estimable facilitation). A sense of community/social capital 
circulating on the circle today? [in the midst of news stories here about 'who 
is having a good/bad time of it really?', and what measures happiness, and how 
people were Good Samaritans or Apathetic Bystanders during our tube terror 
attacks in 2005, etc etc] - an existential moment is opened - a psychic and 
social space.

On the subject of 'owning' a theme, and of 'engaging too intimately' with the 
people doing the work...here we were more authentic 
(conscious/sentient/reflective practitioners?) I think - a pure 
disengagement/affected indifference is as great a risk to the quality of 
interaction and outcomes as the unthinking misuse of the hosting power? We were 
drawn into our agendas, we looked for appreciative inquiry, we drew on our 
practice and experience with (among other things) group relations, systems 
thinking and Zeldin's big conversations...would love to hear more from people 
drawing on meta-methodologies to weave these new human fabrics.... 

Anne 

________________________________
From: Suzanne Daigle <sdaigle4 at gmail.com>
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Sent: Friday, 19 November, 2010 12:06:57
Subject: Re: speaking from the center

Dear Michael (first) and all the other amazing people who have spoken here also,
Meshing the physical, the words, the feel, the intention: how well you have 
described this Michael starting with the beautiful example of the wheel chair. 
In that moment, I somehow felt what it must feel like to be sitting in a wheel 
chair and how often, they must feel people tower over them. Not wanting to tower 
over people by being too close can also happen as my eyes meet those of the 
participants so I apply this same intention leaving private space for people to 
breathe into what they are feeling, nervous, uncomfortable, etc. That's why as I 
let my eyes meet those of the participants walking the circle for the first 
times, with some people it may only be a split second, with others a tiny bit 
longer. I want to honor and respect their physical space and internal space. 

I also just love the transition you describe from the focus on you to the group 
beginning to focus on itself while walking the circle. Harrison mentions how he 
invites the group to let their eyes go around the circle; your description 
brings awareness to this transition.
And then finally, the pre-work you speak of in weeks and months) which I have 
also experienced, feeling at times it is a journey of mutual courage to 
accompany a client and a team as they wrestle with the difficult moments of 
inviting people to something that they cannot fully describe as most often they 
have not experienced open space themselves.  I am always humbled by their trust 
and the deep relationship that develops. 

 But oh my....what I have understood so "painfully" just now is what I have done 
wrong too many times, "caring too much" for the theme, sometimes almost more 
than the sponsor or host.  When the theme touches my sense of values and 
principles, I become so energized...too energized during the pre-work and I know 
now (painfully but with such appreciation to you Michael for bringing it to a 
very deep awareness for me) that in doing so I was consuming space that belongs 
to the host and the group.  Learning this and practicing this will be my next 
very big challenge. I also realize now that by engaging too much on the theme 
with the host, it can make the post-work all the more difficult. I think that 
perhaps my relationship with the host/team may be too close.  
 Now to lighten the topic a bit, I agree Harold that it's so wonderful walking 
the circle when we know some or many of the participants.  I've often thought of 
opening space is the same way that I like to welcome people to my home. 
 Typically in the most comfortable way possible (not too stuffy or fancy or to 
impress) I prepare everything ahead (food, space, dishes, fridge full, 
welcoming, tidied up and clean with time before they arrive for me to relax and 
imagine them there). Then my mission is to have my home become their home, no 
hosting or working/serving just showing them where stuff is and then letting 
everyone be equal to just relax and have a great time. 

 Hugs to all, smiling now as I think of all this wonderful insight for Eleder, 
who in the end need only remember to just be himself and enjoy.
 Suzanne

On Fri, Nov 19, 2010 at 5:44 AM, Michael M Pannwitz <mmpanne at boscop.org> wrote:

A few years ago I badly strained my foot and could move about only in a wheel 
chair... which I also did facilitating an open space with 200 highschool 
students on the issue of racism ("Me, a racist?" was the theme). I did feel very 
relaxed being "de-elevated" and at the same level with the students as I 
"walked" the circle.
>Reflecting on that experience I now always take care to have a circle of at 
>least 10 meters in diameter so that I am not too close to the seated 
>participants, too towering as I walk (my habit is to walk it once or a bit more 
>than once, sometimes two times... changing my mode of movement after that 
>"focusing the group" part which I do with the idea that the group begins to 
>focus on itself... and eventually using the entire space as a dancer would on a 
>stage with the idea that it is a space that can be used in all ways possible).
>
>On prework: I do work intensively with the sponsor and the planning group on all 
>aspects of the event sometimes months before the OS event itself with the result 
>that I get to know them, they get to know me and, of course, I also get to know 
>about their theme and what it is they want to achieve.
>All that I now consider a side-effect.
>What I am really interested in is that they craft their event and that they are 
>clear on their theme and on what they want to achieve.
>I, however, focus on the myriad of things that I know support their work: the 
>space, the time, the material, the food, the documentation technicalities, the 
>public address system, the team, the briefing of the sponsor, facilitating the 
>planning meeting and the Next Meeting(s) after the event... and, of course, 
>getting myself into the mysterious mode of "presence and invisibility".
>Essentially, my relationship with the theme will not substitute their passion 
>for it. I respect it, yes. And my relationship with the people which 
>inadvertendly developes is much less essential than the spirit that developes in 
>the Planning Group, for instance. I love them, yes.
>My experience is that me getting into the theme (more than even the 
>participants) or my relationship with the Planning Group becoming intensive 
>(more than the relationship between the members of the Planning Group) can 
>deflect the focus in a way that both my presence and invisibility necessary for 
>my focus on space and time for the forces of selforganisation are deminished.
>Greetings from Berlin
>mmp
>
>
>Harold Shinsato wrote:
>
> Great sharings from all around...
>>
>>This might also help... something I read in a book about llama care. Llamas 
>>don't like to be touched normally, but if you do it often enough they become 
>>desensitized and won't mind being touched and handled. The same is true for a 
>>lot of things humans don't feel comfortable about - at first. It's one of the 
>>reasons Lisa's training was so valuable for me - getting experience walking and 
>>talking in the circle "desensitizes" to the discomfort so one can spend more 
>>time tuning into the energy of the room and being what they need from me as a 
>>facilitator. That's also a lot easier when I already feel I have a relationship 
>>with the theme and the people because of strong pre-work (another thing Lisa 
>>emphasizes).
>>
>>It has also helped knowing a lot of the people in the room - getting a chance to 
>>talk make eye contact even before getting into the circle, and having some 
>>friendly faces to help remember it's all good.
>>
>>And the trick that Harrison mentioned is also something that Dale Carnegie put 
>>in his "How to Win Friends and Influence People" classic. If you feel nervous, 
>>just admit it and move on. The transparency puts people at ease and you stop 
>>having to fight wondering whether anyone is noticing that you are nervous.
>>
>>   Harold
>>
>>
>>
>>On 11/18/10 9:42 PM, Lisa Heft wrote:
>>
>>Hello, dear Eleder - once again you ask great questions.
>>>
>>>Everyone has shared so wonderfully.
>>>The only things I would add are:
>>>
>>>In my Open Space Learning Workshop one of the things folks do is practice 
>>>walking and talking in that circle.
>>>And yes - others have mentioned as you have their concern with having their 
>>>backs to someone as they speak.
>>>
>>>What they have found is similar to what was mentioned here - if you look a few 
>>>people ahead and keep moving (slowly, breathing, present) you are indeed never 
>>>having your back to anyone for very long. If you turn your head as you move you 
>>>are including people behind you as you travel, as well. If your voice is loud 
>>>enough or you have a microphone everyone can hear you even if you are not facing 
>>>everyone.
>>>
>>>Of course this is all different if some people in your circle have any hearing 
>>>differences such as deafness or other hearing loss - so it is always good to ask 
>>>on registration forms who has any access / ability / mobility issues they would 
>>>like to bring to event coordinators' attention. Then you have this extra info if 
>>>you need it for some individuals, and can give them extra eye contact or some 
>>>notes as well.
>>>
>>>*
>>>/
>>>It is true that having too small a circle and towering over people is hard for 
>>>them - so do make a nice big circle with room in between each chair. And if it 
>>>is too small on the inside I see no problem with walking the outside of the 
>>>circle (though when I have done this some of my OS colleagues have *gasped* !. 
>>> But it is so I do not close everyone in too tightly, in those instances.
>>>
>>>I have also learned from my workshop participants that if you have any 
>>>nervousness about looking people in the eye, try instead....looking at the tops 
>>>of their heads (!).
>>>It often feels like you are looking at them - try it.
>>>
>>>But I think you will become more and more comfortable as you practice, sort how 
>>>you like to say things, and experience yourself doing it more and more.
>>>
>>>Sometimes if it is a tense event to come - I may set up the circle and then 
>>>walk, it, before any participants arrive. And I envision the participants and 
>>>their listening faces, and I smile and welcome them before they get there.
>>>
>>>Mostly - Suzanne said it so well: it is of course not about you. It is about 
>>>them. So if you focus on them and on making your voice and the instructions 
>>>something they can hear and that invites them, then once you begin you are in 
>>>partnership with them - and they can feel it...
>>>
>>>And the other 'mostly' is: remember you are in your walking, your breathing, 
>>>your explaining - creating a container that is open and welcoming and has tools 
>>>and a process - so that they can do their best work.
>>>You are with your walk, your voice, your instructions, your breathing... weaving 
>>>that open and inviting container. And in your walking you are invoking (calling 
>>>in) energy.  
>>>And you know how to do that, dear Eleder - just.... breathe.... and ... go.... 
>>>and be amazed, as I know you are....
>>>
>>>Lisa
>>>
>>>Lisa Heft
>>>/
>>>*
>>>Consultant, Facilitator, Educator
>>>*Opening Space*
>>>lisaheft at openingspace.net <mailto:lisaheft at openingspace.net>
>>>
>
>-- 
>Harold Shinsato
>harold at shinsato.com <mailto:harold at shinsato.com>
>http://shinsato.com
>twitter: @hajush <http://twitter.com/hajush>
>
>* * ========================================================== 
>OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To subscribe, 
>unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of 
>oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu: 
>http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about 
>OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
>
-- 

Michael M Pannwitz, boscop eg

Draisweg 1, 12209 Berlin, Germany

++49-30-772 8000
mmpanne at boscop.org
www.boscop.org

Check out the Open Space World Map presently showing 412 resident Open Space 
Workers in 71 countries working in a total of 141 countries worldwide
Have a look:
www.openspaceworldmap.org

*
*
==========================================================

OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist

-- 
Suzanne Daigle
NuFocus Strategic Group
7159 Victoria Circle
University Park, FL 34201
FL 941-359-8877;  
CT 203-722-2009
www.nufocusgroup.com
s.daigle at nufocusgroup.com
twitter @suzannedaigle

* * ========================================================== 
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To subscribe, 
unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of 
oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu: 
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about 
OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist 

*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20101119/fcf59f72/attachment-0016.htm>