Memory of Brian

[Ralph Copleman]

I wake to find the terrible news news of Brian Bainbridge''s death....

His Faith may say his life has not ended, only changed.  I have never believed that, and I think he knew this.  We would probably smile at each other over our difference.  My smile would be full of respectful courtesy, but his would be full of humble, accepting, unalloyed love.

I had not seen Brian for many years, not since an OSonOS by the Pacific in California, about 1997 or 1998.  One evening that week my wife and I and the Petersons went to dinner with Brian and, I think, Tom Thiss.  Becky and Larry and I chatted each other up on about a hundred things while Tom and Brian talked quietly at the other end of the table.  When it came time to settle the bill, Brian and I looked at each other, and I realized it was the first time all evening I had actually looked him in the eye.  I knew right away I had missed an opportunity to get to know him better, which, after all, had been one point of the dinner, but I had blown it.  Nevertheless, he gave me that same loving smile.  I would go back to New Jersey, and he'd go home to Australia, and I sensed we would probably never see each other again, and I felt a little sad.

And so it was.  We planned a visit to Australia in 2000, and Brian's e-mails were full of suggestions about what to see and where to go.  And an open invitation, of course, for Joyce and me to spend time with him.  I think he would have traveled to anywhere in that huge country to re-open and share our frustrated friendship.  But we never made the trip, and Brian and I fell out of personal contact altogether.

We had some time together in that ocean-side open space, however, and I thought he was everything I would have hoped for in a friend.  So he leaves me an important reminder to take hold of opportunities, to carpe all my diems, so to speak.  I have a feeling none of his days were left unrealized.  Good for him.  I raise my glass high.

My condolences to all his close friends far and near.  May the memory of his life always give comfort.

Ralph Copleman
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