Law of Two Feet--the rest of the story

Diane Brandon diane at keysregion.org
Fri Feb 16 06:00:02 PST 2007


A few random thoughts -

• At the OS a few weeks ago, I found myself turning to someone  
hanging back and saying "you've been quiet -- would you like to say  
something?" or "I'd like to know what brought you to this topic." (I  
wasn't the convener in either case.) It seemed to work fine -- each  
time, the person did then speak in the circle.

• However, in the situation you describe, Joelle, where the person  
sat behind the circle, I would have assumed that they just wanted to  
observe, and I probably wouldn't have tried to include them in the  
conversation.

• Maybe she went home and thought about her experience, and reflected  
on how to get her voice out there, as a shy person. Maybe she decided  
to go to an assertiveness training, or to start a blog. Or maybe she  
was really depressed and lonely and felt helpless. Or maybe she  
decided that she loves facilitated meetings, and won't go to anymore  
OS gatherings.

• In the couple of years that we lived in Flagstaff, AZ, and went to  
many "meetings"/gatherings on or near the reservations in that area  
(Navajo, Hopi, Apache), I learned how slowly the Native Americans  
talked, and what long pauses they often left between speakers. A  
talking stick sometimes was used, which helped to keep that slow  
pacing, but even without one, they just had that slow pace as part of  
their culture. One time I brought a Navajo woman to a meeting of  
about 10 "Whites" and the pace of conversation was so rapid that she  
didn't say anything. I was the convener of the meeting, regarding  
substance abuse issues, and I finally invited her to speak, and asked  
the group to please listen well to her, and give her some time to  
share her experiences on the reservation. It didn't work... she got  
out a few sentences and then others jumped in to comment, inform,  
disagree. I made a few more attempts and then gave up. I could have  
introduced a talking stick, but it didn't fit at that point in the  
meeting. Conclusion? I thought I'd meet with some of the non-Natives  
one on one and talk about what happened; ruminate with them on how to  
make conversational openings the Native people could use.... maybe  
enlist several to help with the pacing the next time. (Has anyone  
done an OS on the Navajo Reservation? I'd be curious to hear about it.)

• Sometimes I'm in a meeting with people who communicate in what I  
perceive as aggressive, joking, jabbing ways that leave no place for  
the kind of communication I enjoy. I leave, either mentally or  
physically, and that's okay with me. Just not my culture, nor one I  
want to get into. Not my game, but maybe great for them. Would I want  
someone to tell them to be quiet and let me say something? Rarely,  
but maybe if I had some information I wanted to give to them.

Diane Brandon
Eliot, Maine




On Feb 16, 2007, at 3:36 AM, Joelle Lyons Everett wrote:

> Sorry this message was sent unfinished.  I'll try again:
>
> In one Open Space, a fairly short meeting, a woman came to me and  
> asked if I thought that Open Space did not work very well for shy  
> people.  I replied that shy people often seemed to be comfortable  
> speaking in the smaller groups.  She said that she thought we  
> should add active facilitation to make sure that everyone had a  
> chance to speak.  I did not offer to do that, but encouraged her to  
> find a group that interested her, to speak up if she wished, and to  
> use her two feet to find the right spot.
>
> All the groups were in one room, and I observed for a bit.   
> Although the small groups were set up with extra chairs so a new  
> person could easily join the circle, this woman pulled up a chair  
> well outside the circle, behind the backs of many participants.   
> She listened for just a few minutes, then moved to a different  
> group.  She repeated this same pattern several times, then left the  
> meeting.
>
> I did not observe "space invader" behavior in the small groups,  
> though perhaps there were
> subtle pressures that could have been noticed by members of the  
> organization.  Not sure what I might have done, if anything--it  
> seemed to me that the woman was making her choices.
>
> I am not attached to the outcome that everyone has to be happy-- 
> which I really can't control.
>
> Thanks, Bui, for making me ponder.
>
> Joelle Everett
> Shelton, Washington, USA
>
> * * ==========================================================  
> OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To  
> subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of  
> oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/ 
> archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST  
> FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist


*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20070216/42de0e34/attachment-0016.htm>


More information about the OSList mailing list