<HTML><BODY style="word-wrap: break-word; -khtml-nbsp-mode: space; -khtml-line-break: after-white-space; ">A few random thoughts -<DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>• At the OS a few weeks ago, I found myself turning to someone hanging back and saying "you've been quiet -- would you like to say something?" or "I'd like to know what brought you to this topic." (I wasn't the convener in either case.) It seemed to work fine -- each time, the person did then speak in the circle.</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>• However, in the situation you describe, Joelle, where the person sat behind the circle, I would have assumed that they just wanted to observe, and I probably wouldn't have tried to include them in the conversation.</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>• Maybe she went home and thought about her experience, and reflected on how to get her voice out there, as a shy person. Maybe she decided to go to an assertiveness training, or to start a blog. Or maybe she was really depressed and lonely and felt helpless. Or maybe she decided that she loves facilitated meetings, and won't go to anymore OS gatherings.</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>• In the couple of years that we lived in Flagstaff, AZ, and went to many "meetings"/gatherings on or near the reservations in that area (Navajo, Hopi, Apache), I learned how slowly the Native Americans talked, and what long pauses they often left between speakers. A talking stick sometimes was used, which helped to keep that slow pacing, but even without one, they just had that slow pace as part of their culture. One time I brought a Navajo woman to a meeting of about 10 "Whites" and the pace of conversation was so rapid that she didn't say anything. I was the convener of the meeting, regarding substance abuse issues, and I finally invited her to speak, and asked the group to please listen well to her, and give her some time to share her experiences on the reservation. It didn't work... she got out a few sentences and then others jumped in to comment, inform, disagree. I made a few more attempts and then gave up. I could have introduced a talking stick, but it didn't fit at that point in the meeting. Conclusion? I thought I'd meet with some of the non-Natives one on one and talk about what happened; ruminate with them on how to make conversational openings the Native people could use.... maybe enlist several to help with the pacing the next time. (Has anyone done an OS on the Navajo Reservation? I'd be curious to hear about it.)</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>• Sometimes I'm in a meeting with people who communicate in what I perceive as aggressive, joking, jabbing ways that leave no place for the kind of communication I enjoy. I leave, either mentally or physically, and that's okay with me. Just not my culture, nor one I want to get into. Not my game, but maybe great for them. Would I want someone to tell them to be quiet and let me say something? Rarely, but maybe if I had some information I wanted to give to them.</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV>Diane Brandon</DIV><DIV>Eliot, Maine</DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"></DIV><DIV><DIV><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: auto; -khtml-text-decorations-in-effect: none; text-indent: 0px; -apple-text-size-adjust: auto; text-transform: none; orphans: 2; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; "><BR class="Apple-interchange-newline"></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN> </DIV><BR><DIV><DIV>On Feb 16, 2007, at 3:36 AM, Joelle Lyons Everett wrote:</DIV><BR class="Apple-interchange-newline"><BLOCKQUOTE type="cite"><FONT face="arial,helvetica"><FONT color="#000000" face="Geneva" family="SANSSERIF" size="2">Sorry this message was sent unfinished. I'll try again:<BR> <BR> </FONT><FONT color="#000000" face="Geneva" family="SANSSERIF" size="2">In one Open Space, a fairly short meeting, a woman came to me and asked if I thought that Open Space did not work very well for shy people. I replied that shy people often seemed to be comfortable speaking in the smaller groups. She said that she thought we should add active facilitation to make sure that everyone had a chance to speak. I did not offer to do that, but encouraged her to find a group that interested her, to speak up if she wished, and to use her two feet to find the right spot.<BR> <BR> All the groups were in one room, and I observed for a bit. Although the small groups were set up with extra chairs so a new person could easily join the circle, this woman pulled up a chair well outside the circle, behind the backs of many participants. She listened for just a few minutes, then moved to a different group. She repeated this same pattern several times, then left the meeting.<BR> <BR> I did not observe "space invader" behavior in the small groups, though perhaps there were<BR> subtle pressures that could have been noticed by members of the organization. Not sure what I might have done, if anything--it seemed to me that the woman was making her choices.<BR> <BR> I am not attached to the outcome that everyone has to be happy--which I really can't control.<BR> <BR> Thanks, Bui, for making me ponder.<BR> <BR> Joelle Everett<BR> Shelton, Washington, USA <BR> <BR> </FONT><FONT color="#000000" face="Geneva" family="SANSSERIF" size="2"></FONT> * * ========================================================== OSLIST@LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of oslist@listserv.boisestate.edu: <A href="http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html">http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html</A> To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: <A href="http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist">http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist</A></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV><BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>*
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