whatever one says,people do whatever they want to do anyway

Mon Mar 6 23:57:25 PST 2006

Hi Filiz and All

Lovely to hear of your 'history in the making.' 

This is what I had had in mind to contribute to Harrison's posting on 'A Quiet Time' and musing on 'whatever happens .' Maybe now is the right time to bring this in. <smile> 

Your poignant plea for practical help has been nicely responded to by others, including Birgitt and Joelle, reflecting on her recent experience in a church service. 

You may also find this perpective of 'whatever happens ...' of value ...

My 'take' on this principle, outlined below, is invariably what I indicate at the beginning of any gathering in which I invoke the principles of OST. Often this is in contexts in which the format of OST is not being used.  

"This gathering will only take place once in human history and we have the remarkable opportunity to be 'in this together.' For whoever is present are the right people to contribute to the learning which will happen. 

And here is a nice reminder: 

The only thing that could happen whenever people treat each other well is that good things emerge. 

There is no knowing what these may be. If we keep an open mind, with no expectations and delicious anticipations, all will be revealed - perhaps in most surprising ways!"

People seem to respond in kind when the invitation to participate is expressed in this manner.

Just how they do participate, at different stages of a meeting, is of course not under the control or wishes of the facilitator or sponsor!     

I wonder how this sounds to you?  

With love

Alan 

Hong Kong 

From: "Filiz Telek" <filiz at bugday.org>
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Subject: whatever one says,people do whatever they want to do anyway
Date: Monday, March 06, 2006 3:52 PM

This is the newest principle for OS that Funda and I are proposing.after our
experience in OS yesterday :-)

Ok, just around the days when we have been contemplating on "whatever
happens is the only thing that could have", I will share with you a brief
reflection on this open space we experienced, a first for me, Funda and for
all who attended.and perhaps dwell a little bit on what could we have done
different or what can we do different in the future.

Funda Oral, whom you know from this list, facilitated this meeting and I
tried to support her to my capability. This was the first time we opened
space together in Turkey, so it was quite a historical day for all of us,
considering the work Funda has done in the last years to invite people to
open space in Turkey.

Today we co-hosted a group of people who are passionate about improving the
public transport in Istanbul. Their immediate focus was saving the
traditional ferryboats of Istanbul which are one of the important symbols of
Istanbul that reflects the spirit of this city. Saving because the
municipality wanted to get rid of them to bring in new and fast sea buses.
So by taking a stand on the maintenance of these ferries, this group
actually is one of the real citizens' movements in Turkey that has some
effect on local decision making.the theme of today's meeting was to come up
with activities for 2006 to improve sea transport and saving the ferries.

All in all it went well with a little more chaos than usual.groups were
formed, exciting conversations were held, actions were proposed.and Funda
did a great job in opening the space.
However convergence was a little disaster in my view, and good news is that
I was hosting it :-)  there could be many reasons for this but I tend to
blame myself or the group for the outcome. When it was convergence time, we
re-opened space where I invited people to announce the actions they want to
take. By the time I could finish my sentence, some people had left the room,
some wondering around, some chatting to the person next to them, two people
shouting at each other.I invited the group about 3 times and nothing
changed. At the end, someone read some proposed actions from the previous
session, put them on the floor and people who were interested signed up. By
that time half of the group had left already. Unfortunately we didn't even
have a closing, because we couldn't maintain the energy of the group
anymore. The meeting finished an hour earlier than the proposed time.

Now, whatever happens is the only thing that could have. But for my own
sanity, I need some practical help here. Because this seems to be the
general group dynamics over here and I am having a hard time as a
facilitator to deal with it. Not only it makes me feel incompetent, it makes
me also lose hope at certain points about being able to do any useful work
over here.
My main challenges are that people don't listen well, they don't concentrate
during a meeting, so they miss and don't follow the instructions and the
groups are not able to converge. In all of the meetings I attended so far, I
found myself watching in awe how people disappear before we are able to say,
so this meeting is finished. And naturally there is no conclusion. I then
feel all the energy that was built up during a meeting gets wasted before we
could channel it into something constructive.

I have been told that being young and female does not help in Turkish
culture. I do not accept this as an explanation. 
I would like to know whether any of you worked in a similar cultural setting
where it was difficult to shift the group energy beyond the individual to
the collective, where listening and focusing was a challenge.and people
proceeded the way they wanted to. To which degree do you or do you not
interfere? What do you do, when you propose a step and one (or more)
participant suggests something else before your next step? (this happens so
often here, drives me crazy, even if you say no, we cant really do that,
people go ahead anyway) What are the conditions for being able to converge a
group whose energy is all over the place?

I am really interested in improving the flow under the conditions I
described above and I am asking for practical suggestions.
Thank you! 

f i l i z 
approach love and cooking with reckless abundance!
 <http://www.barakam.blogspot.com/> www.barakam.blogspot.com
 <http://www.bugday.org/> www.bugday.org 

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