on inviting and asking questions (Re: Management - Turtles)

Sun Feb 27 09:18:18 PST 2005

Marei Wrote: Transfering this in our current situation: People come to an
open space meeting. They enjoy it. They achieve a lot, they learn, they just
live. And: THEY decide. And if they afterwards decide to continue in the old
way - isn't it just their decision and responsibility? To me any judgement,
critizism or sarcasm is not only against all the principles of open space;
it is counterproductive, not inviting, not creating a safe space but closing
it.

Not a doubt about it - people do decide. And even when they decide not to
decide (avoid the decision) they have decided. And of course, with a
decision comes a responsibility for the consequences. It would appear that
some people would rather avoid the decision, responsibility, and the
consequences. But I believe they are simply stuck with all three. At least
in my own life, that has been the case for me. I have spent most of my life
urging people to make their decisions, creating some space where they can
make the decisions, and once the decisions are made, accepting the fact of
those decisions. I think you are precisely right - doing just that is what
Open Space is all about. 

Having said all of that, I find it very difficult, and probably unadvisable,
to avoid any consideration of the total process. This, after all, is how we
learn. And part of that learning process (at least my learning process) is
the exercise of what I would call critical judgment. In an Open Space,
whether as participator or facilitator, I am quite clear that I must let go
of any attachment to particular outcomes - after all, "Whatever happens is
the only thing that could have!"  But that does not mean that I am unaware
of those outcomes or the processes that led up to them. Nor, I think, should
I avoid the formation of an opinion -- what I would call making a critical
judgment. To be sure I will get myself into a world of trouble if I ever
assume that my critical judgment is the only one, or even worse, the "right"
one. Good critical thinking requires that every judgment is always up for
review. A little hard on the ego for sure - but very necessary if we are
ever going to get even close to that funny thing called "truth." 

Along the way, however, it seems that some judgments come pretty close to
being accurate. At least close enough to help us through our daily tasks. I
think we call that experience. I should judge, for example, that placing a
bare hand on a hot stove is not a very good idea. Is this always true? Well,
usually unless your dinner is burning, in which case you have a choice. Let
the dinner burn, or burn your hand saving the dinner. In any case, the
choice is yours as is the responsibility and also the consequences. But even
allowing for all the possible exceptions, I find no particular problem in
warning my young child (when I had a young child) to keep their hands away
from hot stoves, knowing full well that they will try it at least once and
burn their fingers. I can accept that, but if they keep doing it, I confess
that questions begin to form in my mind about the level of intelligence.

Parenting and Open Space may seem miles apart (or maybe not), but after 20
years of observing Open Space, some judgments have formed both in terms of
the process itself, the broader questions of why the process works
(self-organization), and how we might work with both (the process and
self-organization). And when those judgments appear to be confirmed with
some regularity, my level of confidence grows - albeit always held open for
revision.

When I see people using Open Space "just" as a meeting management tool, I
don't have much problem in suggesting that there might be broader
applications and implications. As I said to an executive of a large
multi-national, "I think you need to understand that you have just bought a
Ferrari - but you are using it to go to the corner market. The car will get
you there, but that may not be the best use of the car." And when I see
people performing at inspired levels in an Open Space and also having fun -
only to return to the drudgery of Monday morning where they are miserable -
I must honor their choice for sure. But I also feel more than a little
sadness. And if they were to ask me what I thought the options were, I would
tell them my thoughts and experience. Actually, I might just tell them
anyhow - in a general sort of hypothetical way :-)

You asked me what I feared. As I grow older, I think I fear less and less -
or certainly I am afraid of many fewer things. I am not afraid to be wrong,
and Lord knows I have had plenty of experience in being wrong. But I have
learned that every time I am wrong the sense of anomaly and error almost
inevitably drives me to some renewed sense of possibility, some new rock to
turn over with the hope of finding real treasure. I am concerned, but not
really afraid, that I will not be my full self exercising my capacity to
take things as they are (acceptance) and driving towards their improvement
with the exercise of critical judgment or challenge. Both - Acceptance and
Challenge. All the time. As much as I can, knowing that I will never quite
make it - but it is a hell of a lot of fun trying.

Marei, Thank you for your questions.

Harrison 

Harrison Owen

7808 River Falls Drive

Potomac, Maryland   20845

Phone 301-365-2093

Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com <http://www.openspaceworld.com/>

Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org

Personal website http://mywebpages.comcast.net/hhowen/index.htm
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 

To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives Visit:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Marei
Kiele
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2005 6:26 AM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: on inviting and asking questions (Re: Management - Turtles)

Dear Harrison et al,

I've been quite for a while as in the last months I have dedicated my main
attention to the work with beliefs: how they shape our world view and what
interesting and self-sabotaging beliefs I had and how that made me feel; but
more on that some other time.

Why I write now and here is because reading some of the mails from the last
weeks I more and more got the feeling something is actually going in a very
strange direction. I couldn't figure out, first, but have found out, now.
And: remembering 'tell the truth without blame and judgement', I have
decided to tell my personal truth. Unfortunately we don't know eachother
personally and I am aware that in written words the possibilty to
misunderstand eachother is always higher than in personal dialogue. I'll try
my very best to express myself carefully; but open. Here is my provocative
question: With all due respect and appreciation, dear Harrison, could it be
you are not fully walking your talk?

What I read and understood from the "Turtles" and "Manager" mails was quite
some dissatisfaction with people who after an open space meeting don't
admitt "yes, self organization is reality, consciously using it works much
better and yes, you're right, we will change our way of working from now
on". That was putting it simple, but did I get you right, basically? And how
does this expectation align with the principles and basic ideas of open
space?

What I love most about open space is the radical acceptance. Within a
meeting I can and am asked to do whatever I want. And whatever my choice is
- I am accepted with this choice. If I choose a session, fine - if not, as
fine. It's up to me. And no convener can ever blame me for not joining.

Transfering this in our current situation: People come to an open space
meeting. They enjoy it. They achieve a lot, they learn, they just live. And:
THEY decide. And if they afterwards decide to continue in the old way -
isn't it just their decision and responsibility? To me any judgement,
critizism or sarcasm is not only against all the principles of open space;
it is counterproductive, not inviting, not creating a safe space but closing
it.

>From myself I have learned that I start being critical and judgemental
whenever I am afraid. There is always a feeling of fear underneath. And I
serve myself and others best by asking: What am I afraid of? And to allow
myself to feel this fear. Today I gave myself the gift of reading some mails
again from 2003 after OSonOS, and I loved them, and I want to invite all of
us to share more - not only our thoughts but also our feelings. This is to
explain why I am doing what may be an unusual thing to do on this list; but
the second question I want to ask is: Is there anything you are afraid of?
And what is that?

 "Harrison Owen" <mailto:hhowen at comcast.net <mailto:hhowen at comcast.net%3e> >
wrote:
> Anyhow, I am hoping for some sharing of thoughts, experiences and
strategies
> which might enable us to take full advantage of what we have learned in
Open
> Space, and more to the point -- to enable others to do the same.

Now, here is my sharing:

I want to accept those who decide for the belief of "controll is it". This
does not mean my believing in letting go and self organization is wrong.
Only we have different viewpoints. They have their reasons to stay with
their belief; who am I to know better? I have not walked in their mocassins.
And continue living my personal truth and invite others to join me.

I want to have patience and compassion for others who have experienced
something wonderful and beautiful that touched them deeply - and who
afterwards probably just don't dare to believe this was 'reality' and this
is possible to be transfered into every day life. I have experienced
situations where I got in touch with something and needed time to overcome
my first "it's to good to be true". 

I know an open space experience can be like falling in love. It was for me -
and I've heard others say the same. Falling in love is something has happens
on the level of feeling, not intellectually. In my perspective trying to
convince someone with arguments and with analyzing does not work - not on a
deep level. Logic can help to calm the mind; but the real power, the
believing, the trust that leads to changes comes from intuition and feeling.

My proposal and strategy: To create situations where people can feel and
where they are able to appreciate what they feel. To be able to create that,
I have to stay connected with my own feelings. Whenever I suceed to feel
what I really feel, I usually do the right thing. I trust and am trusted,
and I am able to reach people. And I continue inviting them - for example to
open space.

By coincidence I read about the teacher archetype in Angeles Arrien's 'The
Four-Fold Way' just last night. Question 8 on page 128: "Of Harrison Owen's
'four immutable laws of the spirit,' which is the most difficult for me to
accept or practice?"

My personal answer at this moment: "Whenever it starts is the right time." 

Probably it's the same for you? And what could make accepting and practicing
that more easy?

Looking forward to your response and to everybody elses sharings !!

Marei

-- 

When love is deep, much can be accomplished.

    Suzuki

Marei Kiele 
o p e n i n g   s p a c e 
Arndtstr. 43, 33615 Bielefeld, Germany
tel: +49 - 521 - 521 7643 
mob: +49 - 171 - 810 7161 
mareikiele at web.de

* * ==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To subscribe,
unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of
oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about
OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist

*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20050227/8457a9a0/attachment-0016.htm>