on inviting and asking questions (Re: Management - Turtles)

[Marei Kiele]

 Dear Harrison et al,I've been quite for a while as in the last months I have dedicated my main attention to the work with beliefs: how they shape our world view and what interesting and self-sabotaging beliefs I had and how that made me feel; but more on that some other time.Why I write now and here is because reading some of the mails from the last weeks I more and more got the feeling something is actually going in a very strange direction. I couldn't figure out, first, but have found out, now. And: remembering 'tell the truth without blame and judgement', I have decided to tell my personal truth. Unfortunately we don't know eachother personally and I am aware that in written words the possibilty to misunderstand eachother is always higher than in personal dialogue. I'll try my very best to express myself carefully; but open. Here is my provocative question: With all due respect and appreciation, dear Harrison, could it be you are not fully walking your talk?What I read and understood from the "Turtles" and "Manager" mails was quite some dissatisfaction with people who after an open space meeting don't admitt "yes, self organization is reality, consciously using it works much better and yes, you're right, we will change our way of working from now on". That was putting it simple, but did I get you right, basically? And how does this expectation align with the principles and basic ideas of open space?What I love most about open space is the radical acceptance. Within a meeting I can and am asked to do whatever I want. And whatever my choice is - I am accepted with this choice. If I choose a session, fine - if not, as fine. It's up to me. And no convener can ever blame me for not joining.Transfering this in our current situation: People come to an open space meeting. They enjoy it. They achieve a lot, they learn, they just live. And: THEY decide. And if they afterwards decide to continue in the old way - isn't it just their decision and responsibility? To me any judgement, critizism or sarcasm is not only against all the principles of open space; it is counterproductive, not inviting, not creating a safe space but closing it.From myself I have learned that I start being critical and judgemental whenever I am afraid. There is always a feeling of fear underneath. And I serve myself and others best by asking: What am I afraid of? And to allow myself to feel this fear. Today I gave myself the gift of reading some mails again from 2003 after OSonOS, and I loved them, and I want to invite all of us to share more - not only our thoughts but also our feelings. This is to explain why I am doing what may be an unusual thing to do on this list; but the second question I want to ask is: Is there anything you are afraid of? And what is that?

 "Harrison Owen" <mailto:hhowen at comcast.net> wrote:
> Anyhow, I am hoping for some sharing of thoughts, experiences and strategies
> which might enable us to take full advantage of what we have learned in Open
> Space, and more to the point -- to enable others to do the same.

Now, here is my sharing:

I want to accept those who decide for the belief of "controll is it". This does not mean my believing in letting go and self organization is wrong. Only we have different viewpoints. They have their reasons to stay with their belief; who am I to know better? I have not walked in their mocassins. And continue living my personal truth and invite others to join me.

I want to have patience and compassion for others who have experienced something wonderful and beautiful that touched them deeply - and who afterwards probably just don't dare to believe this was 'reality' and this is possible to be transfered into every day life. I have experienced situations where I got in touch with something and needed time to overcome my first "it's to good to be true". 

I know an open space experience can be like falling in love. It was for me - and I've heard others say the same. Falling in love is something has happens on the level of feeling, not intellectually. In my perspective trying to convince someone with arguments and with analyzing does not work - not on a deep level. Logic can help to calm the mind; but the real power, the believing, the trust that leads to changes comes from intuition and feeling.

My proposal and strategy: To create situations where people can feel and where they are able to appreciate what they feel. To be able to create that, I have to stay connected with my own feelings. Whenever I suceed to feel what I really feel, I usually do the right thing. I trust and am trusted, and I am able to reach people. And I continue inviting them - for example to open space.

By coincidence I read about the teacher archetype in Angeles Arrien's 'The Four-Fold Way' just last night. Question 8 on page 128: "Of Harrison Owen's 'four immutable laws of the spirit,' which is the most difficult for me to accept or practice?"

My personal answer at this moment: "Whenever it starts is the right time." 

Probably it's the same for you? And what could make accepting and practicing that more easy?

Looking forward to your response and to everybody elses sharings !!

Marei

-- When love is deep, much can be accomplished.
    SuzukiMarei Kiele 
o p e n i n g   s p a c e 
Arndtstr. 43, 33615 Bielefeld, Germany
tel: +49 - 521 - 521 7643 
mob: +49 - 171 - 810 7161 
mareikiele at web.de

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