weird stuff in circles (long but dazzling)
Alexander Kjerulf
alexander at kjerulf.com
Tue Oct 5 13:41:39 PDT 2004
Hi Therese
Your post on weird stuff nailed it exactly for me. When I show up at
9:30 for morning circle, I don't mind a short exercise or ritual to
focus the mind, but if a longer session of this is planned, then maybe
it would be better to announce the plan as:
9:30 Meditation and silence (or whatever)
10:00 Morning circle
That way everybody knows what's offered and can decide whether or not to
participate. And I can sleep half an hour longer in the morning :-)
I find the question of whether the law of two feet applies in the circle
very interesting. To me, it must. To my mind, the law of two feet is
nothing but a (brilliant) statement of fact: You ARE always free to
leave, no matter what you think - even in the circle. However, I find it
difficult to get up and leave from the circle. I feel that other people
are noticing and may be taking it as an implicit criticism of them or of
what's going on. I even feel that I may be missing out on something
good. Leaving DOES get easier with practice, though.
Thanks for the wonderful comments on the laughing we did in Seattle -
that WAS fun. Your post had me laughing too!
Cheers
Alex
Alexander Kjerulf
alexander at kjerulf.com
http://www.positivesharing.com
+45 2688 2373
Tagensvej 126, lejl. 613
2200 København N
Therese Fitzpatrick wrote:
> I was not in Goa but I have been at plenty of OS gatherings that had
> just a
> little bit too much weird stuff for my taste. Thank you, Alex, for
> voicing
> your thoughts, for not holding them back. I have this personal theory
> that
> the whole world would work things out quickly if people voiced their real
> thoughts all the time.
>
> As to the weird stuff, I am a loose, free-thinking gal and I like all
> kinds
> of weird stuff myself. But I also have a tendency to cling to a bit of
> rigidity from time to time. If someone doesn't know me well and all of a
> sudden they come up across my rigidity, they are often surprised and
> sometimes even angry that the loose, flexible gal they have come (no
> doubt)
> to love is spoiling their fun with rigidity.
>
> Here is what I am rigid about: I am rigid about forms. I give deep and
> careful thought to the containers I choose to hold groups and once I have
> decided on the form I think is the right form, I believe it is
> important and
> more powerful to stick to the form. Like a consultant works with a
> client
> to determine the right form for a large group event, once the client
> chooses
> the form, well, the consultant better stick to the form. A successful
> consultant is not going to negotiate to have a three day OS with a client
> and then show up and conduct a future search event. Am I right?
>
> Why bother with discerning forms if we are not going to stick to them?
>
> Forgive me my pedantry but I am working up to a point. I love the
> form of
> OS. I believe the form/container of OS as outlined by HO's work and
> by the
> work of the many skilled OS facilitators in the world could be amended.
> Heck, anyone can do whatever they want at any time. But for me, once
> I have
> settled on the form I will use, I believe quite rigidly in sticking to
> the
> form as purely as possible.
>
> If I were hauling water up a mountain with two buckets yoked on my
> shoulders, I would not stop every so often and change the buckets. If I
> decided to climb up a mountain with two buckets of water yoked across my
> shoulders, I would stick with the containers I originally chose. I
> wouldn't
> change to a wheelbarrow half way up and then change to a keg on wheels
> three
> quarters of the way up. I would stick with the form I chose.
>
> In my understanding of open space, the morning circle is to set the
> energy
> field for the day and open the marketplace. The end-of-the-day circle
> is a
> reflection circle, designed to give participants an opportunity to
> reflect
> on their day together. The beauty in this design is that participants
> can
> hear reflections of things that happened during the day that they had not
> attended. A reflection circle is a way of telling the 'whole' story
> of the
> day and giving people at least snapshots of what they missed. A
> reflection
> circle makes it a whole day, in my personal and idiosyncratic opinion.
>
> The final closing circle on the last day of the event is a bit
> different and
> I won't go into that here. Aren't you glad I am not going to expound on
> that next?!
>
> The more I contemplate/meditate on the brilliant container that is OS,
> the
> more rigid I tend to be. I have found a tendency among some OS fans to
> think OS means anything all the time. And, if we want to get really
> literal, we are all of us free to let anything mean anything we want
> all the
> time. We can always choose differently. We can reshape meaning. We can
> alter any thoughts we want.
>
> But my mind and soul are not great enough to be engaged in an endless
> redefinition of reality. I get my best work done when I give my inner
> life
> the discipline of a little bit of form. I think the best OS events
> are when
> a tiny bit of discipline around form is clearly head by the convenors.
>
> Which is my long winded way of saying I do not think weird stuff
> belongs in
> the large circles at the beginning and the end of OS gat
> herings.Ifsomeone
> wants to offer weird stuff, then do it in the marketplace, I say.
>
> Weird stuff does not belong in the big circles, in my personal and
> idiosyncratic cosmology, because the law of two feet/self love does not
> really apply to the morning and evening circles. Everyone is at these
> circles. I cannot participate in the close of the day AND exercise
> the law
> of two feet if something weird pops up.
>
> I conclude (yes, this will come to an end) by remembering the wonderful
> laughing work you gifted us with at the Seattle POP Alex (I think you are
> the same guy!). In the evening, after the closing circle and after
> dinner,
> you offered anyone who wanted to show up to participate in a fantastic
> laughing exercise. It was fantastic and I really loved it. If you had
> stood up in the closing circle and started leading the entire circle
> in your
> laughing experiment, I would have resented it because it was being
> forced on
> me. I loved the laughing work. . . . but I really resent having things
> foisted on me in the closing circle where the law of two feet does
> not, in
> my personal opinion, quite apply. I want to be at the closing circles
> and I
> want to be free to choose.
>
> So. Thanks, by the way, Alex, for your fantastic laughing work.
> Thanks for
> inviting people to participate. And thanks for not imposing it on one of
> the large group circles. That's the way I think it is supposed to work.
>
>
> >From: Mirza Yawar Baig <leadtrain at yahoo.com>
> >Reply-To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
> >To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> >Subject: Re: My reflections on the Goa OSonOS (longish)
> >Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 15:33:28 +0530
> >
> >Hey Alex,
> >
> >good to read what you wrote. I share many of the things you
> said....including the things about the wierd
> stuff..........hahaha........be
> well my friend.
> >
> >Yawar
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Alexander Kjerulf
> > To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> > Sent: Monday, October 04, 2004 3:04 PM
> > Subject: My reflections on the Goa OSonOS (longish)
> >
> >
> > Hi
> >
> > I just got back from India, and here are my reflections on this
> years
> > OSonOS.
> >
> > First of all there were lots of things I enjoyed about the OSonOS:
> >
> > * I met some wonderful people, some for the first time; some
> again
> > * The place was absolutely wonderful - See for yourself, I
> posted
> > some pictures here: http://www.positivesharing.com/Goa
> > * I had many great and inspiring conversations outside of the
> sessions
> > * And best of all, we (the Happy at Work Project) may now
> have a
> > shot at creating the Happy at Work Project, India
> >
> > BUT :-)
> >
> > Those of you who were there know that I was frustrated with the
> > conference itself. This was also true at last years event in
> Denmark
> > (the first OSonOS I attended) but at that time I chose not to
> express
> it.
> >
> > During the evening news on the second day, I presented my
> observations
> > on what frustrated me. I realize of course that these are only my
> > experiences. Other people may have (and indeed did have) totally
> > different experiences. Anyway, here's what frustrated me at the
> OSonOS:
> > *Not much listening.* People seemed more eager to speak than to
> listen.
> > *Not much depth.* Few conversations achieved any real depth, since
> many
> > comments didn't seem to build on what was said earlier in the
> conversation.
> > *Too large groups.* Many (most?) groups had 10 - 20 people in
> them,
> > which of course makes deep conversation and listening more
> difficult.
> > For my taste, I prefer groups with at most 8 people.
> > *Too much weird stuff.* Every day of the OSonOS opened with
> singing,
> > chanting, laughter exercises and other "weird stuff"
> :-) .
> I have
> > nothing against that in itself (and indeed use some of it once
> in a
> > while), but it didn't really add to my experience.
> > *Experienced OS'ers don't seem open to input*. The experienced OS
> people
> > in the crowd were wonderfully willing to share their
> experiences, but
> > seemed less willing to listen to new ideas.
> > *Evening circle takes too long*. The evening circle went on for a
> long
> > time - too long in my opinion.
> >
> > I say this without any intention of blame or indictment. Please
> also
> > remember that this kind of thing always looks worse in worse in
> writing.
> > And as I said at the conference, I only say this, because I
> think the
> OS
> > community can deal with it, and should be given a chance to do
> so -
> > rather than just me dealing with it on my own by not coming to any
> more
> > OSonOS'es.
> >
> > The paradox here is, that all the conversations I had outside
> of the
> > sessions really made my coming there worthwhile, so my time
> there was
> > certainly not wasted. It's just that I KNOW that OS
> conversations can
> be
> > so much more than what I saw at both this and last years
> OSonOS'es.
> >
> > Now, I'm not going to throw something like this out there, without
> also
> > thinking about what we can do about it, and so we did a session on
> that
> > on the third day. We saw some ideas brewing as to what we could
> do to
> > improve the OSonOS, while at the same time maintaining (and maybe
> even
> > strengthening) all the good things the OSonOS does for the OS
> community
> > already. This is not about revolution, it's about taking an
> appreciative
> > approach to what already works in the OSonOS, and how we can
> build on
> that.
> >
> > But before we start that, there should be some sort of buy-in from
> the
> > OS community. If the prevailing mood is, that "the OSonOS is
> fine, don't
> > mess with it", then we'll leave it at the. If the mood is
> "The OSonOS is
> > fine, let's make it even more fine", then we might start
> with an
> > appreciative inquiry right here on the list - I'd be happy to
> get it
> going.
> >
> > What do you think?
> >
> > Cheers
> >
> > Alex
> >
> > --
> > Alexander Kjerulf
> > alexander at kjerulf.com
> > http://www.positivesharing.com
> >
> > +45 2688 2373
> > Tagensvej 126, lejl. 613
> > 2200 København N
> >
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