weird stuff in circles (long but dazzling)

Therese Fitzpatrick theresefitz at hotmail.com
Tue Oct 5 11:49:07 PDT 2004


I was not in Goa but I have been at plenty of OS gatherings that had just a
little bit too much weird stuff for my taste.  Thank you, Alex, for voicing
your thoughts, for not holding them back.  I have this personal theory that
the whole world would work things out quickly if people voiced their real
thoughts all the time.

As to the weird stuff, I am a loose, free-thinking gal and I like all kinds
of weird stuff myself.  But I also have a tendency to cling to a bit of
rigidity from time to time.  If someone doesn't know me well and all of a
sudden they come up across my rigidity, they are often surprised and
sometimes even angry that the loose, flexible gal they have come (no doubt)
to love is spoiling their fun with rigidity.

Here is what I am rigid about:  I am rigid about forms.  I give deep and
careful thought to the containers I choose to hold groups and once I have
decided on the form I think is the right form, I believe it is important and
more powerful to stick to the form.  Like a consultant works with a client
to determine the right form for a large group event, once the client chooses
the form, well, the consultant better stick to the form.  A successful
consultant is not going to negotiate to have a three day OS with a client
and then show up and conduct a future search event.  Am I right?

Why bother with discerning forms if we are not going to stick to them?

Forgive me my pedantry but I am working up to a point.  I love the form of
OS.  I believe the form/container of OS as outlined by HO's work and by the
work of the many skilled OS facilitators in the world could be amended.
Heck, anyone can do whatever they want at any time.  But for me, once I have
settled on the form I will use, I believe quite rigidly in sticking to the
form as purely as possible.

If I were hauling water up a mountain with two buckets yoked on my
shoulders, I would not stop every so often and change the buckets.  If I
decided to climb up a mountain with two buckets of water yoked across my
shoulders, I would stick with the containers I originally chose.  I wouldn't
change to a wheelbarrow half way up and then change to a keg on wheels three
quarters of the way up.  I would stick with the form I chose.

In my understanding of open space, the morning circle is to set the energy
field for the day and open the marketplace.  The end-of-the-day circle is a
reflection circle, designed to give participants an opportunity to reflect
on their day together.  The beauty in this design is that participants can
hear reflections of things that happened during the day that they had not
attended.  A reflection circle is a way of telling the 'whole' story of the
day and giving people at least snapshots of what they missed.  A reflection
circle makes it a whole day, in my personal and idiosyncratic opinion.

The final closing circle on the last day of the event is a bit different and
I won't go into that here.  Aren't you glad I am not going to expound on
that next?!

The more I contemplate/meditate on the brilliant container that is OS, the
more rigid I tend to be.  I have found a tendency among some OS fans to
think OS means anything all the time.  And, if we want to get really
literal, we are all of us free to let anything mean anything we want all the
time.  We can always choose differently.  We can reshape meaning.  We can
alter any thoughts we want.

But my mind and soul are not great enough to be engaged in an endless
redefinition of reality.  I get my best work done when I give my inner life
the discipline of a little bit of form.  I think the best OS events are when
a tiny bit of discipline around form is clearly head by the convenors.

Which is my long winded way of saying I do not think weird stuff belongs in
the large circles at the beginning and the end of OS gatherings.  If someone
wants to offer weird stuff, then do it in the marketplace, I say.

Weird stuff does not belong in the big circles, in my personal and
idiosyncratic cosmology, because the law of two feet/self love does not
really apply to the morning and evening circles.  Everyone is at these
circles.  I cannot participate in the close of the day AND exercise the law
of two feet if something weird pops up.

I conclude (yes, this will come to an end) by remembering the wonderful
laughing work you gifted us with at the Seattle POP Alex (I think you are
the same guy!).  In the evening, after the closing circle and after dinner,
you offered anyone who wanted to show up to participate in a fantastic
laughing exercise.  It was fantastic and I really loved it.  If you had
stood up in the closing circle and started leading the entire circle in your
laughing experiment, I would have resented it because it was being forced on
me.  I loved the laughing work. . . . but I really resent having things
foisted on me in the closing circle where the law of two feet does not, in
my personal opinion, quite apply.  I want to be at the closing circles and I
want to be free to choose.

So.  Thanks, by the way, Alex, for your fantastic laughing work.  Thanks for
inviting people to participate.  And thanks for not imposing it on one of
the large group circles.  That's the way I think it is supposed to work.


>From: Mirza Yawar Baig <leadtrain at yahoo.com>
>Reply-To: OSLIST <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
>To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
>Subject: Re: My reflections on the Goa OSonOS (longish)
>Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004 15:33:28 +0530
>
>Hey Alex,
>
>good to read what you wrote. I share many of the things you
said....including the things about the wierd stuff..........hahaha........be
well my friend.
>
>Yawar
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: Alexander Kjerulf
>   To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
>   Sent: Monday, October 04, 2004 3:04 PM
>   Subject: My reflections on the Goa OSonOS (longish)
>
>
>   Hi
>
>   I just got back from India, and here are my reflections on this years
>   OSonOS.
>
>   First of all there were lots of things I enjoyed about the OSonOS:
>
>       * I met some wonderful people, some for the first time; some
again
>       * The place was absolutely wonderful - See for yourself, I posted
>         some pictures here: http://www.positivesharing.com/Goa
>       * I had many great and inspiring conversations outside of the
sessions
>       * And best of all, we (the Happy at Work Project) may now have a
>         shot at creating the Happy at Work Project, India
>
>   BUT :-)
>
>   Those of you who were there know that I was frustrated with the
>   conference itself. This was also true at last years event in Denmark
>   (the first OSonOS I attended) but at that time I chose not to express
it.
>
>   During the evening news on the second day, I presented my
observations
>   on what frustrated me. I realize of course that these are only my
>   experiences. Other people may have (and indeed did have) totally
>   different experiences. Anyway, here's what frustrated me at the
OSonOS:
>   *Not much listening.* People seemed more eager to speak than to
listen.
>   *Not much depth.* Few conversations achieved any real depth, since
many
>   comments didn't seem to build on what was said earlier in the
conversation.
>   *Too large groups.* Many (most?) groups had 10 - 20 people in them,
>   which of course makes deep conversation and listening more difficult.
>   For my taste, I prefer groups with at most 8 people.
>   *Too much weird stuff.* Every day of the OSonOS opened with singing,
>   chanting, laughter exercises and other "weird stuff" :-) .
I have
>   nothing against that in itself (and indeed use some of it once in a
>   while), but it didn't really add to my experience.
>   *Experienced OS'ers don't seem open to input*. The experienced OS
people
>   in the crowd were wonderfully willing to share their experiences, but
>   seemed less willing to listen to new ideas.
>   *Evening circle takes too long*. The evening circle went on for a
long
>   time - too long in my opinion.
>
>   I say this without any intention of blame or indictment. Please also
>   remember that this kind of thing always looks worse in worse in
writing.
>   And as I said at the conference, I only say this, because I think the
OS
>   community can deal with it, and should be given a chance to do so -
>   rather than just me dealing with it on my own by not coming to any
more
>   OSonOS'es.
>
>   The paradox here is, that all the conversations I had outside of the
>   sessions really made my coming there worthwhile, so my time there was
>   certainly not wasted. It's just that I KNOW that OS conversations can
be
>   so much more than what I saw at both this and last years OSonOS'es.
>
>   Now, I'm not going to throw something like this out there, without
also
>   thinking about what we can do about it, and so we did a session on
that
>   on the third day. We saw some ideas brewing as to what we could do to
>   improve the OSonOS, while at the same time maintaining (and maybe
even
>   strengthening) all the good things the OSonOS does for the OS
community
>   already. This is not about revolution, it's about taking an
appreciative
>   approach to what already works in the OSonOS, and how we can build on
that.
>
>   But before we start that, there should be some sort of buy-in from
the
>   OS community. If the prevailing mood is, that "the OSonOS is
fine, don't
>   mess with it", then we'll leave it at the. If the mood is
"The OSonOS is
>   fine, let's make it even more fine", then we might start with an
>   appreciative inquiry right here on the list - I'd be happy to get it
going.
>
>   What do you think?
>
>   Cheers
>
>   Alex
>
>   --
>   Alexander Kjerulf
>   alexander at kjerulf.com
>   http://www.positivesharing.com
>
>   +45 2688 2373
>   Tagensvej 126, lejl. 613
>   2200 København N
>
>   *
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