Talking sticks and listening sticks

Joelle Lyons Everett JLEShelton at aol.com
Tue Apr 27 22:58:28 PDT 2004


Phil--

If I bring the talking stick for a meeting, I usually choose something from
my own land--a fresh cedar branch (like Harrison, I don't put it in the trash,
but take it home, return it to the woods or sometimes burn it, with a ritual
of thanks), or a piece of driftwood from the beach, to which I may add a couple
of shells, or some fresh ivy, or a few flowers tied on with a bit of ribbon,
depending on the season.   I look for something that feels comfortable in my
hand, and if I add something to it, I leave a stretch of branch that is easy to
hold.   In other contexts, I may stack two or three felt-tip pens into a
"stick" and pass that, for groups that are leary of something with "mystical" or
other strange connotations.

I usually ask the planning group whether they have some object of special
significance they would like to use, and some do.   One client brought her "magic
wand," a clear plastic tube with glitter that floated up and down.   Another
brought two rocks, one with a hollow on top and a smaller egg-shaped rock that
sits in the hollow.   A member of the organization, not the one who donated
the rocks, spoke briefly but eloquently about their meaning.These rocks have
attended a number of meetings now, and have a place of honor in the office.

In a couple of instances where a key person was leaving the organization, I
have made a talking stick, used it in the closing circle, and then presented it
to the person who is leaving, as a tangible farewell from the group.

I'm in the "pass-it-around" camp, unless the group is very large, and suggest
that those who choose not to speak hold the stick for a moment, receiving the
attention of the group, before they pass it along.

I'm loving to hear all the variations of this common theme--it reinforces my
feeling that there is no one right way to do this closing, but finding some
way to do it is powerful.

Joelle

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