SV: my family (mother list)

[Eva P Svensson]

Marei,
I’m so glad to hear of your ”homecoming” and your first OS, I do remember
your thinking and struggling at your future at Bramstrup, seems like you are
a little bit closer to the doorstep now…

And also to join the discussion about the list; it has for me several
purposes, Here I can find answers to my tiny practical questions as a
relatively beginner with OST, i.e. how to do this or that, or how to deal
with….
But I can also challenge my own process and as Judi said: “This list, for
me, is organic, it becomes what I need it to be over and over.” And for me
that is very much true. The discussion always seems to point in a direction
where my own thoughts are now, for maybe becoming - not the new but - more
the authentic now which is I.  So, Florian your writing about now and new is
exactly what I need NOW.  I challenge my self not to do, to stop doing for a
while to catch up with myself, and that’s a scaring thing to do – stop doing
and just be with oneself for a period of time. It evokes a lot of “scares”
(things that I am frightened for) to be dealt with; work, safety,
self-criticisms and God knows what. And in that work this list always seems
to be discussing what I need for now...
Then talking about contribution, or lurking, it’s quite easy to read and
understand English but it takes a whole lot more to write, to try to find
the flavour of the right word, to paint the feelings. But not being so
active doesn’t mean lack of interest – more likely lack of self-confidence
on the language (but then there’s always the spelling program in the
computer – thanks for that :-)!)
So this list is a precious gift and a real treasure for me. And if this is
not a learning organisations I don’t now what is!
All the best
Eva


Bästa hälsningar


Eva P Svensson
............................................................................
............

EPS Human Invest AB
"Verksamhetsutveckling genom människor"
Anåsbergsvägen 22
S-439 34  ONSALA
Tel & Fax 0300-615 05
Mobil 0706 - 89 85 50
eva at epshumaninvest.se

-----Ursprungligt meddelande-----
Från: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU]För Marei Kiele
Skickat: den 8 december 2003 00:55
Till: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Ämne: Re: my family (mother list)

Sorry for adding such a long text (thinking of all who only have little time
for reading these mails).

But - after following this beautiful exchange with rising interest and
involvement, tonight I read many mails I collected during the last days -
and my wish to answer and contribute grew more and more  - feeling so
limited by not being native english-speaking.
I really don't know which one to refer to first.
So I close my eyes and let my finger choose...

Chris Corrigan wrote:
There are about 350-400 people on this list Judi.  WAAAY more lurkers
than writers, or more butterflies than conveners.

Dear Chris, this sentence opened up a new way of looking at butterflies to
me.
Most times I just read and do not write on the list, but I don't feel as if
I am "only" lurking. Whenever I add to the list I feel it makes a difference
to know there are hundreds of people reading and listening to what I am
saying. Even if they don't answer or engage. Knowing somebody is there,
somebody is taking part, somebody is witnessing what I do and think makes a
difference. In this way we are all facilitating each other, aren't we?


Chris Corrigan wrote:
I’ve been pondering Judi and Lisa’s statements about loving the event-based
OST even though we know it could be better, and I have to admit that even
though I tried to come across as getting tired of them, I like them a lot
too. I was trying to figure out WHY I like them though and wondered if it
wasn’t just me…a fatal trap for a facilitator, to meet his own needs through
a pet process, and so this had me a little worried…

Dear Chris and all, I use this opportunity for adding that esp. on this list
we (including myself!) all may try to become saints - not doing things to
meet our own needs - but in fact I believe meeting our needs is the real
reason for all we do. And during the last weeks I came to see it as a very
honourable reason. Meeting my needs does not automatically implicate that
the needs of others are not met. The opposite is true - I can meet the needs
of others best when I take good care of myself.


Tova wrote:
>My sensing is that there are changes in the last few months. I do not know
'the real old days' but I am around for 4 years now.
>My understanding is that our community is multi focused now and this is
felt, at least by some (me included), as an 'energy
>leakage', A difficulty to focus enough energy to go through to new.

This sentence gave me a new insight into something a man said in the
closing-circle this week. But before I tell you more about him I want to
share something with you: I am proud and delighted and full of happiness
because on last monday and tuesday I facilitated my first open space. Some
of you who met me in Swenmark may recall that I gave up my work as a product
manager nearly two years ago. I went through many struggles, up and downs,
found open space or have been found and fell in love immediately but didn't
dare to get in contact at the first sight. After half a year of more
learning and searching I entered the space at the Berliner OSonOS in june,
came to Bramstrup where I deeply felt I had reached home and found my
family, asked Michael M Pannwitz to let me learn (recall?!) open space being
with him for three months and finally I dived into the river and... swam :-)
Of course I did, because as I know now: I am a dolphin - and I found the
liquid I need.

The os took place in a business-context with participants who afterwards
seem to be hard work for the start: 38 people, only men (exept three young
women who where very cautious), average age 60, professional background:
scientists, ingenieurs, finance specialists. But of course - it worked! They
had fun, they networked and communicated like never before, they were happy.
With at least one exeption.

Coming back to what Tova wrote (...multi focused... is felt, at least by
some... as an 'energy leakage'):

This man, being 60+-years old, said he found out that open space isn't for
him and that he is hoping he will never have to participate in one anymore.
First I thought he was not open enough (like "how limited"). Writing and
thinking about it I become less demanding. I realize how judging I have
been. Now I understand it may just have been to much for him... or to fast.
And I wonder if there is any chance to make it easier for people to SLOWLY
get in touch? I guess he may have been overtaxed - coming to the
food-metaphor: as I sometimes feel overtaxed going to the market with all
the fresh vegetable and fruits and decisions to make - there are times when
I prefer a small supermarket with only a small assortement.

Florian, while reading your contribution I feel how I slow down. And I feel
this healing energy you give to me. Is this the answer to my above posted
question? Making it possible for others to join by slowing down? But what
about those who are fast?

And one more question to mix you all up the way I am NOW (exactly midnight
in Germany): Maybe it is still judging to think it was too much. Because
hidden in this thought is the idea that everyone could find his or her
paradise in open space. Which implicates not to accept the choice of all who
find their paradise somewhere else.

Does all this make sense to you?

Marei


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