my family (mother list)

[Marei Kiele]

Sorry for adding such a long text (thinking of all who only have little time for reading these mails). 

But - after following this beautiful exchange with rising interest and involvement, tonight I read many mails I collected during the last days - and my wish to answer and contribute grew more and more  - feeling so limited by not being native english-speaking.
I really don't know which one to refer to first.
So I close my eyes and let my finger choose...

Chris Corrigan wrote:
There are about 350-400 people on this list Judi.  WAAAY more lurkers
than writers, or more butterflies than conveners.

Dear Chris, this sentence opened up a new way of looking at butterflies to me.
Most times I just read and do not write on the list, but I don't feel as if I am "only" lurking. Whenever I add to the list I feel it makes a difference to know there are hundreds of people reading and listening to what I am saying. Even if they don't answer or engage. Knowing somebody is there, somebody is taking part, somebody is witnessing what I do and think makes a difference. In this way we are all facilitating each other, aren't we?


Chris Corrigan wrote:
I’ve been pondering Judi and Lisa’s statements about loving the event-based OST even though we know it could be better, and I have to admit that even though I tried to come across as getting tired of them, I like them a lot too. I was trying to figure out WHY I like them though and wondered if it wasn’t just me…a fatal trap for a facilitator, to meet his own needs through a pet process, and so this had me a little worried…

Dear Chris and all, I use this opportunity for adding that esp. on this list we (including myself!) all may try to become saints - not doing things to meet our own needs - but in fact I believe meeting our needs is the real reason for all we do. And during the last weeks I came to see it as a very honourable reason. Meeting my needs does not automatically implicate that the needs of others are not met. The opposite is true - I can meet the needs of others best when I take good care of myself.


Tova wrote:
>My sensing is that there are changes in the last few months. I do not know 'the real old days' but I am around for 4 years now.
>My understanding is that our community is multi focused now and this is felt, at least by some (me included), as an 'energy 
>leakage', A difficulty to focus enough energy to go through to new.

This sentence gave me a new insight into something a man said in the closing-circle this week. But before I tell you more about him I want to share something with you: I am proud and delighted and full of happiness because on last monday and tuesday I facilitated my first open space. Some of you who met me in Swenmark may recall that I gave up my work as a product manager nearly two years ago. I went through many struggles, up and downs, found open space or have been found and fell in love immediately but didn't dare to get in contact at the first sight. After half a year of more learning and searching I entered the space at the Berliner OSonOS in june, came to Bramstrup where I deeply felt I had reached home and found my family, asked Michael M Pannwitz to let me learn (recall?!) open space being with him for three months and finally I dived into the river and... swam :-) Of course I did, because as I know now: I am a dolphin - and I found the liquid I need.

The os took place in a business-context with participants who afterwards seem to be hard work for the start: 38 people, only men (exept three young women who where very cautious), average age 60, professional background: scientists, ingenieurs, finance specialists. But of course - it worked! They had fun, they networked and communicated like never before, they were happy. With at least one exeption.

Coming back to what Tova wrote (...multi focused... is felt, at least by some... as an 'energy leakage'):

This man, being 60+-years old, said he found out that open space isn't for him and that he is hoping he will never have to participate in one anymore. First I thought he was not open enough (like "how limited"). Writing and thinking about it I become less demanding. I realize how judging I have been. Now I understand it may just have been to much for him... or to fast. And I wonder if there is any chance to make it easier for people to SLOWLY get in touch? I guess he may have been overtaxed - coming to the food-metaphor: as I sometimes feel overtaxed going to the market with all the fresh vegetable and fruits and decisions to make - there are times when I prefer a small supermarket with only a small assortement. 

Florian, while reading your contribution I feel how I slow down. And I feel this healing energy you give to me. Is this the answer to my above posted question? Making it possible for others to join by slowing down? But what about those who are fast?

And one more question to mix you all up the way I am NOW (exactly midnight in Germany): Maybe it is still judging to think it was too much. Because hidden in this thought is the idea that everyone could find his or her paradise in open space. Which implicates not to accept the choice of all who find their paradise somewhere else. 

Does all this make sense to you?

Marei


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