Becoming A Peacemaker Conference

[Julie Smith]

Greetings ~

In so many ways, the Fairbanks Becoming A Peacemaker conference was
birthed from this list.  For me, that has everything to do with the
quality of conversation that happens here.  The conversations we had
following September 11, and the next series of conversations (the ones
that ended up in the user's non-guide) have had a dramatic impact on my
life.  It's like this wave of OSLIST energy met up with me and blew me
(quite willingly) into a new relationship with my world.  It somehow
resonates with what Peggy said:

"An invocation connects the material world, the heart and the spirit.
We humans are a bridge for linking matter and spirit.  An invocation
moves in, through and from us, making spirit matter.  What is invoked
must ultimately be dispersed in order to serve.  So opening an OS is an
invocation for spirit to move in, through and from us in service to a
higher purpose.  Closing a space is a dispersion of that service into
the larger space of the world."

I don't have the right language here, but I feel like somehow I was
breathed in here (and played for a time with you during that long
inhalation), and then exhaled (with many others) the Fairbanks Becoming
A Peacemaker conference.

When Chris closed our final OS space last week, he asked us to stand and
turn our backs to the circle, reminded us that we were now each facing
Open Space, and invited us to enter that space knowing we had each other
behind us, supporting us along the way.  That's exactly what the
Fairbanks conference felt like to me, like I had turned my back to this
OSLIST circle in order to give my attention and energy to the circle
that was emerging in my community, knowing that all of what I had
experienced here remained behind me and continued supporting me.

All of that is a very long way of saying that I won't feel a sense of
completion until I come back to this place where it started for me, to
tell the story of what happened on my journey out of this circle and
into that other circle.

Leaving the OSLIST circle started for me when I first began talking to
people in my community about creating an OST event in Fairbanks.  I was
suddenly leaving the space of this secure group of people who have
developed a common understanding of this way of being in the world, and
entered into a much bigger and more complex world where this
understanding had not even been named, much less talked about or
explored. What I found was an initial healthy skepticism followed
rapidly by curiosity. During this period of curiosity I had many allies.
Some were trusted friends I knew would quickly come on board, some were
people in high places who surprised me by their immediate understanding,
and some were people I didn't even know who emerged through chance
connections and lent credibility to the idea.

The turning point between curiosity and acceptance came in the telling
of the story of Michael and Judi and Chris.  When I started describing
each of them to the group who would ultimately decide whether to take a
chance on the OST process, I began seeing smiles and sparkling eyes.
There was a shift in energy, a new feeling of possibility, a collective
sense that with their help, we could do it.  There became this sense
that we could push the envelope without falling off a cliff, that with
these three on board, we would be safe enough to take this risk.  The
group said Yes.

Looking back, all of that was the easy part. The hardest part of the
journey for me was the theme and invitation.  This was the part that
challenged me to take risks and grow in places that were still blocked.
Michael was a catalyst for me when after countless e-mails he asked me
to think about what I would want people to remember about me at my
funeral.  Naming the conference Becoming A Peacemaker reflected a very
long personal affinity with peacemaking as well as acknowledgement of
recent world events.  Naming the theme in this way was a risk for me
because people have always discouraged me from using the words peace and
peacemaking.  When I used these words in the past, I usually ended up
feeling shut down, shut out, and misunderstood.  The many conversations
about peace and peacemaking on this list gave me courage to name the
theme I have passion for.

I'm not sure how the process of naming and describing felt to others who
were also responsible for the theme and invitation.  It felt to me like
a long, intense, confusing, and convoluted process, all of which
reflected my fear of authentically expressing my self in my community.
My experience of that time was that everyone else ended up stepping away
from the question, and it became my choice.  I had this feeling of the
universe opening up to me and saying "Okay, you asked for it, now what
will you do with it?"  In that moment of truth, I was tempted to hold
back a little, to not ask the question my life was asking, to hide
behind what I thought others wanted.  In the end, I stood up and asked
my question.  That was a scary thing for me.

Once that decision was finally made, the logistics fell together with
ease.  The people who were needed were always there doing what needed to
be done.

What happened next is hard for me to fully grasp.  It feels more like
potency, like the ending of the inhalation just before the beginning of
the exhalation.  The best I can do is describe what I experienced.

Michael, Chris and Judi arrived in Fairbanks a day or two before the
conference.  Finally meeting these three who I already held in such high
regard was a joy and delight.

On the day before the conference we made our way to the civic center
where the conference would be held. The Alaskaland Civic Center is a
3-story round building decorated on the outside with huge Yup'ik masks.
The building holds a theatre on one side and a meeting area on the
other. The meeting area is a half circle that rises three levels, with a
large central open area that reaches all three levels up to the wood
ceiling, and balconies on the upper two floors that are open to what is
above and below.  The huge straight wall of the half-circle is a
beautiful mountain landscape painting.

When we entered the civic center that day, there were stack and stacks
of chairs waiting for us on the perimeter of the circle.  When we left,
there were over 220 chairs arranged in three concentric rings.  Outside
the circle we constructed places for topics to be posted and additional
places to post the news of the day.  Michael made posters of bumblebees
and butterflies, the four principles, the law of mobility, and a teaser
about surprise.  Looking at the empty circle and all that surrounds it,
I felt my heart expand.  Even thinking about it now, I have a sense of
power and potency, of goodness, of hope, of connection and community.

I have a hard time talking about the conference itself.  I have this
sense that more happened than I've allowed myself to bring to my
awareness.

Judi opened the space, breathing, walking the circle, connecting with
us, helping us connect with each other.  The chairs were filled with
over 100 middle school and high school students, and a roughly equal
number of adults.  Almost before she had finished speaking, one of my
dearest friends was bounding out of his chair to grab a piece of paper
and a marker. He was followed in quick succession by a stream of youth
and adults. Then the topics started pouring in, tumbling one after the
other.  People of all ages walked into the circle to name the topic they
had passion for.

The rest is a blur...... circles of people finding each other and
talking, intense discussion, deep questions, affirmation, disagreement,
insight, acceptance, questions....

Of all of that, I've only been able to meaningfully grasp two
experiences.  The first is Rosalie's gift.  Judi has already described
how at the beginning of the second day, Rosalie announced that our time
together on the first day had changed her life, that she had experienced
peace in her family for the first time in a long time that morning.
When invited to explain what she meant by that in the closing circle,
she told the story of telling her mother she loved her, and how that had
changed everything for both of them.  Rosalie's courage in creating her
story and then telling it is so simple and so profound.  It is so close
to truth that I feel I could enter into that knowing and vulnerability
and find a lifetime of inspiration.

The second event emerged completely outside my awareness.  A seventh
grade student posted the topic "What can we do to stop people from
hurting themselves?"  With the support of Judi and many others, Derek
ended up facilitating four sessions around this issue which culminated
in a suicide prevention plan at his school and other schools in our
area.  In reviewing the notes, I found someone had asked "how do we
force adults and the schools to provide suicide prevention in the
schools?"  That was a wake-up call for me.  I had no idea that students
were seeking adult help on this issue.  This marks the first time I felt
invited by students to participate with them about a concern they
identified.  To have that happen over such a complex and serious issue
jolted me.  We've already started moving forward in response to Derek's
invitation.

Sometime soon perhaps I'll give myself time to breathe through and
experience what happened in a more complete way.  For now, this is what
I've been able to comprehend.

Already people around here are talking about what comes next.... school
principals talking about holding in-services in open space, teachers
talking about how to use OST in classrooms, discussions about how we can
use OST to converse about complex community issues, thinking about our
second annual conference to be held in open space.....

And yesterday I learned that Dan and Mia and others are starting to talk
about the possibility of other communities holding a Becoming A
Peacemaker conference next September 11, to be held in OST.  And now
we're thinking about what that might look like if we did it statewide,
with proceedings pouring in from all over the state and posted on a web
page..... and thinking that some of the 60 participants in our OST
practice workshop might be willing to help facilitate OST in communities
across the state....

Someday soon I'm going to sit with all of this in gratitude and awe, and
then maybe I'll be able to complete this very long exhalation.  Oh, what
wonders I look forward to with the inhalation that is sure to follow.

Much love to all,

Julie

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