Becoming A Peacemaker Conference

[Toni Petrinovich]

Julie, and all of this - this inspiration - this feeling of so much that you
can hardly speak it is in the possibility of VOSonVOS.  THAT is what we are
creating it for - come join us.  The time to begin is almost here.

Blessings,
Toni Petrinovich

----- Original Message -----
From: "Julie Smith" <jsmith at mosquitonet.com>
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Sent: Saturday, April 27, 2002 12:53 PM
Subject: Becoming A Peacemaker Conference


> Greetings ~
>
> In so many ways, the Fairbanks Becoming A Peacemaker conference was
> birthed from this list.  For me, that has everything to do with the
> quality of conversation that happens here.  The conversations we had
> following September 11, and the next series of conversations (the ones
> that ended up in the user's non-guide) have had a dramatic impact on my
> life.  It's like this wave of OSLIST energy met up with me and blew me
> (quite willingly) into a new relationship with my world.  It somehow
> resonates with what Peggy said:
>
> "An invocation connects the material world, the heart and the spirit.
> We humans are a bridge for linking matter and spirit.  An invocation
> moves in, through and from us, making spirit matter.  What is invoked
> must ultimately be dispersed in order to serve.  So opening an OS is an
> invocation for spirit to move in, through and from us in service to a
> higher purpose.  Closing a space is a dispersion of that service into
> the larger space of the world."
>
> I don't have the right language here, but I feel like somehow I was
> breathed in here (and played for a time with you during that long
> inhalation), and then exhaled (with many others) the Fairbanks Becoming
> A Peacemaker conference.
>
> When Chris closed our final OS space last week, he asked us to stand and
> turn our backs to the circle, reminded us that we were now each facing
> Open Space, and invited us to enter that space knowing we had each other
> behind us, supporting us along the way.  That's exactly what the
> Fairbanks conference felt like to me, like I had turned my back to this
> OSLIST circle in order to give my attention and energy to the circle
> that was emerging in my community, knowing that all of what I had
> experienced here remained behind me and continued supporting me.
>
> All of that is a very long way of saying that I won't feel a sense of
> completion until I come back to this place where it started for me, to
> tell the story of what happened on my journey out of this circle and
> into that other circle.
>
> Leaving the OSLIST circle started for me when I first began talking to
> people in my community about creating an OST event in Fairbanks.  I was
> suddenly leaving the space of this secure group of people who have
> developed a common understanding of this way of being in the world, and
> entered into a much bigger and more complex world where this
> understanding had not even been named, much less talked about or
> explored. What I found was an initial healthy skepticism followed
> rapidly by curiosity. During this period of curiosity I had many allies.
> Some were trusted friends I knew would quickly come on board, some were
> people in high places who surprised me by their immediate understanding,
> and some were people I didn't even know who emerged through chance
> connections and lent credibility to the idea.
>
> The turning point between curiosity and acceptance came in the telling
> of the story of Michael and Judi and Chris.  When I started describing
> each of them to the group who would ultimately decide whether to take a
> chance on the OST process, I began seeing smiles and sparkling eyes.
> There was a shift in energy, a new feeling of possibility, a collective
> sense that with their help, we could do it.  There became this sense
> that we could push the envelope without falling off a cliff, that with
> these three on board, we would be safe enough to take this risk.  The
> group said Yes.
>
> Looking back, all of that was the easy part. The hardest part of the
> journey for me was the theme and invitation.  This was the part that
> challenged me to take risks and grow in places that were still blocked.
> Michael was a catalyst for me when after countless e-mails he asked me
> to think about what I would want people to remember about me at my
> funeral.  Naming the conference Becoming A Peacemaker reflected a very
> long personal affinity with peacemaking as well as acknowledgement of
> recent world events.  Naming the theme in this way was a risk for me
> because people have always discouraged me from using the words peace and
> peacemaking.  When I used these words in the past, I usually ended up
> feeling shut down, shut out, and misunderstood.  The many conversations
> about peace and peacemaking on this list gave me courage to name the
> theme I have passion for.
>
> I'm not sure how the process of naming and describing felt to others who
> were also responsible for the theme and invitation.  It felt to me like
> a long, intense, confusing, and convoluted process, all of which
> reflected my fear of authentically expressing my self in my community.
> My experience of that time was that everyone else ended up stepping away
> from the question, and it became my choice.  I had this feeling of the
> universe opening up to me and saying "Okay, you asked for it, now what
> will you do with it?"  In that moment of truth, I was tempted to hold
> back a little, to not ask the question my life was asking, to hide
> behind what I thought others wanted.  In the end, I stood up and asked
> my question.  That was a scary thing for me.
>
> Once that decision was finally made, the logistics fell together with
> ease.  The people who were needed were always there doing what needed to
> be done.
>
> What happened next is hard for me to fully grasp.  It feels more like
> potency, like the ending of the inhalation just before the beginning of
> the exhalation.  The best I can do is describe what I experienced.
>
> Michael, Chris and Judi arrived in Fairbanks a day or two before the
> conference.  Finally meeting these three who I already held in such high
> regard was a joy and delight.
>
> On the day before the conference we made our way to the civic center
> where the conference would be held. The Alaskaland Civic Center is a
> 3-story round building decorated on the outside with huge Yup'ik masks.
> The building holds a theatre on one side and a meeting area on the
> other. The meeting area is a half circle that rises three levels, with a
> large central open area that reaches all three levels up to the wood
> ceiling, and balconies on the upper two floors that are open to what is
> above and below.  The huge straight wall of the half-circle is a
> beautiful mountain landscape painting.
>
> When we entered the civic center that day, there were stack and stacks
> of chairs waiting for us on the perimeter of the circle.  When we left,
> there were over 220 chairs arranged in three concentric rings.  Outside
> the circle we constructed places for topics to be posted and additional
> places to post the news of the day.  Michael made posters of bumblebees
> and butterflies, the four principles, the law of mobility, and a teaser
> about surprise.  Looking at the empty circle and all that surrounds it,
> I felt my heart expand.  Even thinking about it now, I have a sense of
> power and potency, of goodness, of hope, of connection and community.
>
> I have a hard time talking about the conference itself.  I have this
> sense that more happened than I've allowed myself to bring to my
> awareness.
>
> Judi opened the space, breathing, walking the circle, connecting with
> us, helping us connect with each other.  The chairs were filled with
> over 100 middle school and high school students, and a roughly equal
> number of adults.  Almost before she had finished speaking, one of my
> dearest friends was bounding out of his chair to grab a piece of paper
> and a marker. He was followed in quick succession by a stream of youth
> and adults. Then the topics started pouring in, tumbling one after the
> other.  People of all ages walked into the circle to name the topic they
> had passion for.
>
> The rest is a blur...... circles of people finding each other and
> talking, intense discussion, deep questions, affirmation, disagreement,
> insight, acceptance, questions....
>
> Of all of that, I've only been able to meaningfully grasp two
> experiences.  The first is Rosalie's gift.  Judi has already described
> how at the beginning of the second day, Rosalie announced that our time
> together on the first day had changed her life, that she had experienced
> peace in her family for the first time in a long time that morning.
> When invited to explain what she meant by that in the closing circle,
> she told the story of telling her mother she loved her, and how that had
> changed everything for both of them.  Rosalie's courage in creating her
> story and then telling it is so simple and so profound.  It is so close
> to truth that I feel I could enter into that knowing and vulnerability
> and find a lifetime of inspiration.
>
> The second event emerged completely outside my awareness.  A seventh
> grade student posted the topic "What can we do to stop people from
> hurting themselves?"  With the support of Judi and many others, Derek
> ended up facilitating four sessions around this issue which culminated
> in a suicide prevention plan at his school and other schools in our
> area.  In reviewing the notes, I found someone had asked "how do we
> force adults and the schools to provide suicide prevention in the
> schools?"  That was a wake-up call for me.  I had no idea that students
> were seeking adult help on this issue.  This marks the first time I felt
> invited by students to participate with them about a concern they
> identified.  To have that happen over such a complex and serious issue
> jolted me.  We've already started moving forward in response to Derek's
> invitation.
>
> Sometime soon perhaps I'll give myself time to breathe through and
> experience what happened in a more complete way.  For now, this is what
> I've been able to comprehend.
>
> Already people around here are talking about what comes next.... school
> principals talking about holding in-services in open space, teachers
> talking about how to use OST in classrooms, discussions about how we can
> use OST to converse about complex community issues, thinking about our
> second annual conference to be held in open space.....
>
> And yesterday I learned that Dan and Mia and others are starting to talk
> about the possibility of other communities holding a Becoming A
> Peacemaker conference next September 11, to be held in OST.  And now
> we're thinking about what that might look like if we did it statewide,
> with proceedings pouring in from all over the state and posted on a web
> page..... and thinking that some of the 60 participants in our OST
> practice workshop might be willing to help facilitate OST in communities
> across the state....
>
> Someday soon I'm going to sit with all of this in gratitude and awe, and
> then maybe I'll be able to complete this very long exhalation.  Oh, what
> wonders I look forward to with the inhalation that is sure to follow.
>
> Much love to all,
>
> Julie
>
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