Fw: [Ailist] grief, despair, and anger

[Ante Glavas]

Cafe seminars or world or knowledge cafe or however one prefers to call them
seem to work excellent before an OS. Besides being a good conversation and
idea generation phase, it allows people to really get out what they are
present to. My organisation worked with high school children who went
through the war in Croatia and even if they complained most of the time
about how bad their lives are, when it came to OS, they were very
constructive and took up some initiatives which are still being done now, 6
months later. We also gave a week apart between the cafe seminar and OS to
let things sink in and get brewing.
Ante

----- Original Message -----
From: "Peggy Holman" <pholman at msn.com>
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Sent: Monday, August 21, 2000 8:23 PM
Subject: Fw: [Ailist] grief, despair, and anger


> When Birgitt sent her message about her negative experience with
> appreciative inquiry a week ago, I was curious what response it would draw
> from AI practitioners.  I posted the message below.  It generated quite a
> few responses.  The two I found most useful are below.  For me, the key
> insight is about understanding the distinction between "positive" and
> "appreciative".  I think these two messages speak well to that.
> Peggy
>
>
> WHAT WENT TO THE AI LIST:
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Peggy Holman" <pholman at msn.com>
> To: "Appreciative Inquiry List" <AIList at business.utah.edu>
> Sent: Thursday, August 17, 2000 11:39 AM
> Subject: Fw: Re: Teacher Mentoring Report
>
>
> >
> > This message came off of the Open Space list.  Thought I'd see what
> > perspectives my colleagues on the AI list have on it.
> >
> > Peggy Holman
> >
> >
> > > My experience with Appreciative Inquiry is that it has its place, but
> that
> > > it precludes grief cycle work from doing its work and those items that
> > need
> > > to be spoken that are rooted in being mad or sad or in denial don't
get
> > > their chance to lead to their healing work. At least in the early
> stages.
> > >
> > > In my personal experience, I have been in an OST meeting in which I
was
> > > angry. I needed to express what was so for me. Appreciative Inquiry
> caused
> > > me to feel that it was wrong to offer my input from my passion. And I
> > ended
> > > up angrier. I was asked to think of highlights and positive stories,
> when
> > > what I really wanted and needed to do was to share was was REAL for
me.
> > > Honoring me and my wisdom in the MOMENT. Experiences such as this one
> have
> > > caused me to use caution with Appreciative Inquiry and to go back to
the
> > > root understandings of second order change work and to create contexts
> for
> > > the space to be OPEN.
> > >
> >
>
> TWO RESPONSES:
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jack Brittain" <Brittain at Business.Utah.edu>
> To: "AIList" <ailist at Business.Utah.edu>
> Sent: Friday, August 18, 2000 9:48 PM
> Subject: [Ailist] grief, despair, and anger
>
>
> > Several comments have hinted at this, but not directly hit it for me.
> > Many past discussions have struggled with the difference between AI and
> > positive thinking. The appreciative mode is not the power of positive
> > thinking, it is finding those forces that sustain people in
> > organizations and lead to desired outcomes.
> >
> > Those that are carrying grief,  despair, and anger, but still giving of
> > themselves, are powerful examples of sustaining forces because they are
> > persisting despite emotional pain. They certainly need to give up the
> > pain for their personal well being, but those things that sustain them
> > -- indeed that they personally embody -- are worthy of inquiry, things
> > like core values, dedication to service, selflessness. I am wondering if
> > the power of AI is not that it ignores the pain, but that it validates
> > it and identifies the strengths that people have to move beyond the
> > pain, strengths that also allow them to let go. I have found that a
> > sense of power and control can do wonders to cure anger and despair. And
> > for me, this is a core part of the AI experience, helping those in
> > organizations identify the strengths they possess to become the people,
> > team, community and organization of their dreams.
> >
> > Just maybe the fallacy of "dealing with grief" is that implicit in the
> > method is accepting powerlessness. Certainly relevant to dealing with
> > individual issues like death of loved ones, but I am dubious of the
> > validity of this model for organizational applications.
> > --
> > =================== Jack <Brittain at Business.Utah.edu>
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles
> School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list
> administrator. For subscription information, go to:
> > http://lists.business.utah.edu/mailman/listinfo/ailist
> >
>
> SECOND RESPONSE:
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Brenda Turnbull" <brenda.turnbull at mq.edu.au>
> To: <ailist at business.utah.edu>
> Sent: Sunday, August 20, 2000 4:45 PM
> Subject: [Ailist] AI and Feelings
>
>
> > Yes I'm very interested in this discussion too.
> >
> > It was thrown into high relief for me last week when I was working with
> > a group along AI principles (context was re-energising self in an
> > academic environment), and had some very vehement responses along the
> > lines of 'but this is positivity, and there's anything BUT reasons to be
> > positive in this environment'.
> >
> > The best way I could struggle at the time to explain it, is that it's
> > really not about positivity at all....it's about
> > life-bouyancy.....seeing that what I'm/you're experiencing and where
> > I'm/you're 'at' right now is valuable and provides the guide to the next
> > shift.  So with people experiencing any of the feelings of grief, how I
> > see it is that wherever they're 'at' is totally valuable, and if I can
> > be with them exactly there, embracing (not colluding), and explore,
> > feel, understand that space with them, then that's A.I.(or whatever else
> > we want to call it....A.I.will do)....I see it as an attitudinal thing
> > that's about using everything as an opportunity for living, I
> > suppose....everyting has a value....buoyancy in life....not about
> > plastering over life with some false sense of 'always look to the bright
> > side' etc etc.
> >
> > So with the people last week, we started to really explore their
> > feelings of hopelessness, cynicism, pain, and as we did, started to get
> > underneath that to the unrealised hopes, dreams, passions etc etc, and
> > then that created further shifts etc
> >
> > Anyway that's how I'm understanding it at the moment.
> >
> > Brenda Turnbull
> >
>
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