[OSList] What to do when a conflicted and important part is missing?

Wed May 29 13:20:11 PDT 2013

Dear Eleder, dear HO, dear Jan Luis,
one way I sometimes summarize this is to say "cooperation happens when 
people cooperate" or "collaboration happens when..." etc. which are all 
variations on "communication happens when...".

In my experience, the planning group always finds its way to the 
"business issue" and to "the invitation" ect. if they in fact meet and 
follow the simple design I have described on this list.
If they dont follow the invitation by the sponsor to come together, 
nothing happens... at this point.

Greetings from Berlin
mmp

On 29.05.2013 21:33, JL Walker wrote:
> Thank you Eleder and Harrison for this interesting and generous
> conversation. I'm learning a lot.
>
> Juan Luis
>
> *De:*oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org
> [mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org] *En nombre de *Harrison Owen
> *Enviado el:* miércoles, 29 de mayo de 2013 12:14
> *Para:* 'World wide Open Space Technology email list'
> *Asunto:* Re: [OSList] What to do when a conflicted and important part
> is missing?
>
> Eleder – A painful pickle for sure! This may be one of those cases where
> that old favorite medicine of experienced physicians is the only cure:
> “Tincture of Time.” But I think there may be some alternatives, as well
> as a few thoughts about why your efforts to date have been less than
> productive.
>
> Taking these in reverse order – Why didn’t things work out as you hoped?
> Or more immediately, why didn’t the people come? The obvious and simple
> answer is that they didn’t care to. We have learned, I think, that good
> things happen when people share a common concern. There may be a large
> diversity of opinions relative to that concern, but they never-the-less
> care (hopefully with some passion) about a shared concern. That “shared
> concern” is the natural focal point for any Open Space and represents
> the core of the theme.
>
> I think this may be the nub of your problem, because if I read you
> right, the theme of your Open Space was one thing that a majority of the
> people, particularly those you really wanted to come, simply had no
> interest in discussing. (“Open Space on the ways to include everybody´s
> opinions in the decisions of the small town.”). You are doubtless
> correct in thinking that this issue is worthy of discussion – but that
> makes it YOUR issue, and not necessarily theirs. And if it ain’t
> “theirs” they won’t care – and absent caring, they won’t come. Which
> turned out to be the case.
>
> What about alternatives? If I heard you correctly, there is a large
> amount of pain and distrust amongst the people – which may be justified
> or not – but it is there and destructive. Some people may call it a
> “communication problem” which is rather a mild way of talking about a
> very difficult situation – which definitely requires a “fix.” But one of
> the things I have learned (painfully) over the years is that “fixing a
> communication problem” is rarely if ever (“never.” in my experience)
> accomplished by talking about it. The discussions tend to be puerile and
> abstract except for people interested in communications (“process”
> people like us). Most people, I find don’t want to “talk” about
> “communications”… but they do want and need to communicate. So it is
> more about “doing” and not so much about process and techniques. I know
> this statement will not sit well with those invested in all those tools
> – but it is my constant experience that when people truly care about a
> common issue and need to communicate to get something done – they do it
> with excellence.  That of course is the lesson of every significant Open
> Space I have ever seen. Happens every time PROVIDED the focal issue is a
> matter of serious, common concern – what I often call a “real business
> issue.”
>
> I think there may be some strategy here for your situation. First off –
> Give up trying to invite people to talk about communication. A friend of
> mine used to say that such efforts were pretty much like trying to teach
> a pig to sing: It sounds terrible and annoys the pig! Instead – look for
> an issue, or multiple issues, where there is genuine, existential,
> practical, common concern. Potholes in the roads, sewage treatment,
> education for the kids, help with the old folks, -- and then invite
> those who care to come. And they will. Chances are good that they will
> make some positive steps on the issues of their concern – but more
> important for your concern THEY WILL COMMUNICATE. They will build mutual
> trust and respect if they care to do that.
>
> It is also possible, of course, that the people involved really are
> miserable, hateful creatures, unworthy of any trust or respect. I think
> that is quite unlikely, but it could be true. And if so, the only sane
> approach is to leave town and go and do something useful (Law of two
> Feet). But I seriously doubt you are there yet – Much more likely the
> people involved are fundamentally good hearts needing only an invitation
> to engage issues they really care about.
>
> Harrison
>
> Harrison Owen
>
> 7808 River Falls Dr.
>
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>
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> *From:*oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org
> <mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org>
> [mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org] *On Behalf Of *Eleder_BuM
> *Sent:* Wednesday, May 29, 2013 7:39 AM
> *To:* World wide Open Space Technology email list
> *Subject:* [OSList] What to do when a conflicted and important part is
> missing?
>
> After the second Open Space (this one 4 hours one) in the small
> self-managed village (some messages before on this list, under " How do
> we invite key and high conflicted people?" subject), a main question
> remains inside me.
>
> What would you do if a conflicted and important part of the community is
> missing and has no intention to join & the promotors seem unable to
> invite properly? #InvitationProcess
> <https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23InvitationProcess> #Conflict
> <https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23Conflict> #OpenSpace
> <https://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23OpenSpace>
>
>
> Some weeks ago we had an Open Space on the ways to include everybody´s
> opinions in the decissions of the small town. A big part of the
> villagers said in advance that they would no way come. They feel very
> hurted about some quarrels last years in the council commitees,...
>
> The "other side" (the own in power, the majority and the promotors of
> these events) is also very hurted.
>
> The invitation process should be in this case, I think, very long,
> patient, cautious, loving,... and they don´t seem to be able to do the
> job now.
>
> Does it make any sense to do another OS with this feeling of impotence?
>
> Should we try some conflict resolution before inviting for another OS?
>
> Or maybe such an invitation process (very long, patient, cautious,
> loving,...) and a long 1´5 or 2´5 day OS would be the good "cure"?
>
> Should the facilitator lead the invitation process, in an additional
> mediator role?
>
> I´m quite lost in the process, letting go, and present all the time,
> with this duty on the back of my mind,...
>
>
> Enjoy life!
>
> *@Eleder_BuM* <http://twitter.com/Eleder_BuM>
> *www.burumapak.blogspot.com* <http://www.burumapak.blogspot.com/> (Basque)
> *www.in-fluyendo.blogspot.com* <http://www.in-fluyendo.blogspot.com/> (Sp.)
> *www.flowandshow.blogspot.com (En)* <http://www.flowandshow.blogspot.com/>
> *http://www.bilbohiria.com/gaika/berbaz* (radio interviews)
>
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