[OSList] Highly Controversial Group

[Lisa Heft]

I would add to everyone's wise words -

It is not just the slice of time you have them in a meeting.
It is also how invitation, relationship-building, messaging, design of  
time... all of the pre-work - supports the success of a dialogue-based  
meeting.
The higher the conflict, the more time for relationship building  
before the event, the more useful timing, placement and type of /  
inclusion of food is, the more time (ideally) you want for people to  
be able to name their story, feel fully witnessed, and feel heard. Not  
changed, just heard.

Plus it is good to really look at documentation design - what is the  
capacity and reality of what will be done with the information and  
ideas and relationships generated at the event, after the event.
As we all know, a single moment does not necessarily change behavior.
Ideally, this event is designed in to sort of a chain of gatherings,  
actions, events and relationships that are designed over time.

I know you may not be able to change some of those 'must-have's', Ceci.

Like delivery of information (rather than engagement).

Can that happen before people arrive, in any other way.
Can it happen in a creative way, showing diverse voices.
What will it do that either confirms peoples' existing positions or  
makes them mad or agitated. Does that help. Does that fit the  
objective for bringing them together.

Is there anything that can be shifted, moved, adjusted - so there is  
more time to unfold into conversation and discovery, so the reflective  
thinkers have voice, not just the quickest responders.

What is the messaging - how is it being described.
Recommendation: leave any word about anxiety or discomfort out of your  
theme. If you name it, people will hold that.
What is the nature of invitation. Is invitation / invitation strategy  
about individual outreach, one-on-one communication, so that everyone  
coming in the room has a welcoming person they have already met, even  
if online.
Pre-registration - can also give you a chance to share information and  
tone - and to gather information to support every individual.

Design of name tags. Can they be just first and last name (large so  
people can see across a small conversation) without any title or  
organization.

I know you are asking about 'what if x happens in the moment'.
But there is more than that to support the best possible situations.

And then you prepare yourself. You eat. You sleep. You stay hydrated.  
You use all your tools. You breathe. You welcome.
You look ahead at some 'what-ifs' such as what if something runs a  
little longer than expected - can you design in a bit more time, are  
there bowls of fruit to pass around if things run a bit late (both for  
nutrition and for a moment of people sharing with each other) to bring  
in the room if running late makes people tired, things like that.

You open the circle mentioning perhaps not the anxiety - but perhaps  
at the 'whatever happens' description you can say that people are  
welcome to name what was, what should be, what isn't - but they also  
have a chance to share thinking about the new story, that begins now,  
if they wish. Up to them.

And then you remember that we are all with you.
Like a flock of butterflies standing lightly on your shoulders,  
witnessing, believing in you.
And believing in each of those people, and their passions.
Perhaps one of us butterflies landing lightly on the shoulder of  
someone in the room who has anger or anxiety. Witnessing for them, as  
well.

And then you remember you have a peaceful center. Because you do.

And then you take it where it goes. Because you did everything you  
could do to prepare, and now it is time to dance the dance.
So wear comfortable shoes ;o)

We believe in you,
Lisa


>
> From: oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org [mailto:oslist-bounces at lists.openspacetech.org 
> ] On Behalf Of Cecilia Soriano
> Sent: Friday, July 26, 2013 3:40 PM
> To: oslist at lists.openspacetech.org
> Subject: [OSList] Highly Controversial Group
>
> Hello everybody!
>
> I have a big challenge and I need your wisdom!
> The next next Thursday, I will be facilitating an OS, with a group  
> of 190 Secondary School Principals. Is a highly controversial group  
> in a very politicised and complicated context... (ideal for open  
> space isn't it?)
>
> But in my practice, I haven´t had the opportunity to meet with  
> groups like this...where there is much aggressiveness and the bonds  
> of trust are very damaged...
> I would like to learn from your experience. and know what warning  
> should I take?
>
> Some Context:
> My client told me that there are very opposing groups. And in their  
> regular meetings (not in open space) there are people who start to  
> scream and insult boycotting all the meeting and not allowing the  
> dialogue... If happen a situation like that, at the beginning of the  
> circle, which do you recommend to do?
>
> In addition to breathe, breathe and hold space... "confidence in  
> people and in the process"
> In imagie that facing that hypothetical situation... It would be  
> correct to give them the space of listening, and then tell them that  
> they can leave if they are not comfortable there... Although it  
> would be very important to stay to make their contribution...
> And then continue with those who want to follow...
>
> What do you think about that? Which is your experience in similar  
> cases?
>
> Grateful for your comments!
> Warm greetings from the Argentine winter.
>
> Cecilia
>
> Mobile: 00 54 9 341 6657790
> skype: cecisoriano
> www.conversacionesparatodos.com

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