[OSList] Sticky dots Q

[Lisa Heft]

Tricia - you were / are incredible.
You have learned so much - about yourself, about your intuition, about  
your edges.
You shared so much for us all - I agree, well said, Amanda, respect  
and affection.

And I am with brother Chris and I wish to say it this way:

How does your working with people who treat you so unpleasantly serve  
the world?
How does your continuing engagement with them - with this repeated and  
ongoing demonstration of disrespect to you and others, promising and  
then undoing, belittling action and language, serve the world?

It is one thing to say 'oh humans are so different / they were  
anxious / this was new territory / it was hard for them' and also 'it  
was my inexperience / I should have / could have done / known better'  
and all that.

But what you described was persistent, ongoing demonstration (to my  
outsider's mind - I did not experience it but I am wondering through  
the words you shared) of treating you poorly, rather abusively in  
fact, of not honoring agreements or conversations you had, of actively  
dismantling things.

So. You can work with them for the truth / the vision / the things you  
know could be possible, might be possible, or used to be - whatever is  
holding you in this relationship.
Or you can choose to step away to work with others in a relationship  
of wellness, where your amazing skills and heart and dedication are  
welcomed and amazing things happen with colleagues working ... together.
Maybe the three big gifts were you (even if you have to see this  
through our eyes) noticing your courage and amazingness, rich learning  
about how to honor your intuition and deepen your pre-work and  
practice, and a really dramatic understanding (if you feel that) that  
this is not the place for you and they do not have the vision or  
ability to see the amazing gift that you offer.

I am also for shifting that whole 'working for free' dynamic. There is  
something in a relationship that is built when an organization /  
client / community offers what they can offer financially to someone  
who is working for the organization's interests, their objectives,  
their mission. You are doing the job with full-on responsibilities and  
many hours of pre-work, communication, and professionalism. You expect  
no less of yourself no matter what an organization or group can pay  
you. So here is my invitation: explore asking everyone to pay you for  
your good work - whether it is a set amount or a mutually-agreed-upon  
amount after a frank talk about the organization's resources. You are  
worth it, and so are they.

Tricia - I know you may sometimes be able to come to the San Francisco  
Bay Area - if it works for you to join us in the March Fabulous  
Facilitation Conference, we welcome you to join us for mutual sharing  
and rich co-learning. If it works for you to join us in April for the  
Open Space Learning Workshop, more rich learning, more interchange of  
experiences and ideas. And if that is not a fit for your abilities or  
resources, you are already enriching our learning community so much by  
sharing your stories of discovery and reflection. We are lucky to have  
you as part of our community....

Lisa



On Feb 18, 2013, at 4:44 PM, Tricia Chirumbole wrote:

> oh goodness me - I'm not sure about all that! BUT, I really do  
> appreciate the support - it is valuable to me and my sometimes  
> confused thought patterns!....as sow's ear.. I like it.
>
> btw, thanks to Jeff and Chris for comments and little kicks in the  
> butt (is that a naughty word?) before.....I would LOVE to fire  
> myself and I am trying now more than before to get there asap :)

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20130218/21dc314c/attachment-0008.htm>