[OSList] Dealing with Conflicts

[anisha susanna]

Dear Marie Ann, Brendan, Christine, Craig, Harrison, Michael, Peggy,  and
all,

Marie Ann, I'm really grateful that you started this thread of
conversation! I've been wondering for a while whether OS can be used in
situations of high conflict between people who all consider themselves
social/feminist activists but are in a seemingly intractable polar dynamic
around a particularly sensitive issue - what one side has deemed "sexual
assault" and the other has named "a one-off inappropriate behaviour"
between friends.  It began some three years ago, but things have gotten
quite ugly as one side in particular has done quite a bit of mud slinging
on the social media networks in recent months.

My questions are as follows:

i) Might I myself, together with a small group of individuals, be the
sponsor of the event? I am really keen to get everyone in the room so we
can actually have face to face conversations, but I am not sure that the
women's organisation (of which I am an nominal member) that is currently
being attacked, would be convinced of an OS process.  Or should I speak to
the management of this women's organisation and try and convince them of
the value of getting everyone in the same space without necessarily needed
a heavily facilitated process?  Initially, I had suggested Dynamic
Facilitation, which has some excellent processes for facilitating a group
through high-conflict - but I can't think of anyone in Malaysia who might
be able to do DF in this context.  I think that many hold a fear that
things will explode and get out of hand, and so the desire for a
facilitator to maintain a well controlled "safe space."

ii) Brendan, you'd mentioned the importance of pre-work, and Harrison, you
said, none was needed...I respect you both immensely, and perhaps both are
true in different settings.  In this case, previous offers for mediation
have been rejected, on grounds that they did not have anything to do with
the selection of the facilitator.  What suggestions do you have for the
wording of the invitation such that the fiercely angry side will also show
up?  I'd agree with HO that there are no need for additional guidelines on
behaviour such as "deep listening" and so forth, because I think that the
Law of Two Feet works well when its completely established as norm.  Are
there are any samples of invitations that have been sent out for OS style
conflict resolution that someone in this list might be able to share? I'd
be really happy to see them.

iii) I have been seen as associated with one side of this divide, and thus
may not make the best person to Open Space in this context.  We do have a
small community of OS practitioners in Malaysia, and perhaps I could
approach someone else to see if they might be willing to run the OS.
However, I wondered if there were situations where someone in my position
(who is seen as alligned and "friendly" to one side of the divide) has
opened space in a situation of conflict?  I seem to be one of the keenest
to create space for engaging in direct conversations - I have faith that a
solution can be found if we just were in touch with each others' humanity,
and have those enemy images dissolve.  But perhaps, that's too much
personal investment involved to hold the space effectively, you reckon?

Thank you. Any insights and suggestions would be much appreciated.

Warm salaams,

Susanna

Susanna George
API Fellow 2011-12
http://tinyurl.com/APIFellow2011-12

Consultant
Strengthening Team Processes Through Critical Conversations
+60 12 3723234 (Please send SMS on this number only)
+81 70 54522691 (To receive phone calls until 31 July 2012)
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20120726/40e55c00/attachment-0008.htm>