[OSList] An open space birth.

[Michael M Pannwitz]

...cheers! hope to see Riddley Wilbur McDermott and you at the WOSonOS 
humming baroque music...
hugs
mmp

On 20.01.2012 01:34, Phelim McDermott wrote:
> Dear open space friends,
>
> Matilda and I have been a little absent from the list and just wanted
> to check in with you all as to what's been happening and our
> extraordinary start to the year.
>
> For the end of last year I had been working on an Opera at the Met in
> New York. Matilda became pregnant in April and because of this work
> commitment if we wanted to be together for the birth we had to have
> it in New York. Because of the show timing was also an issue.
> Although we knew that whenever it happened was the right time, we had
> also been talking to our baby in the womb and encouraging it that if
> it could just hold off a little while it would get to hear the opera
> and that if it came during rehearsals it would probably miss the
> chance of hearing the baroque music that's supposed to be so good for
> your baby in utero! On 31st, Dec 2011 The Enchanted Island opened.
> Matilda was there on opening night and we were greatly relieved that
> things were happening in the order we had hoped for.
>
> We then imagined we might even get a bit of a break for preparation
> before anything else happened. However, two days later on the evening
> of the Monday Matilda's first contractions began. (Whenever it starts
> is the right time.) We met our Doula (birthing companion) briefly
> then went for a meal at the Italian restaurant on the corner of 8th
> and C, (It's amazing how quickly your food arrives if you tell them
> your wife's having contractions). Then we went back to our East
> Village apartment and put up the birthing pool we had hired, hoping
> that the midwife’s assurance that it was like approximately 8 big men
> drinking beer in your kitchen was accurate and it wasn't going to
> crash through the floor. Then we went to bed and tried to get some
> sleep. Matilda being Matilda there wasn't much of that, nor for the
> next four nights.
>
> Next morning We gathered around the empty birthing pool. This was our
> circle. Increasing our numbers with some toy monkeys and an elephant
> who had been given as a gift for the baby we opened the space for our
> birth. We made An invitation for this new life to come into the
> world. The principles were up on our apartment walls and we posted
> sessions that could happen at any time. They included “Music and
> dancing”, “Wise Teachers”, “Love and welcome”, “Filling the pool”
> etc..
>
> Now if you go through the principles and think about it you’ll
> realise how pertinent they are for a genuine birth. Especially when
> you are hundred miles from home and dealing with all the things that
> come with setting up for the holding of space for the entry of a new
> life into this world.
>
> Whenever it starts is the right time. Whoever comes are the right
> people. When it's over it's over. (and when not over it's not over of
> course!) Whatever happens is the only thing that could have. Wherever
> it happens is the right place.
>
> Law of two feet/mobility.
>
> Be prepared to be surprised!
>
> Amazed at how marginalised the midwifing community is in the USA
> compared to Europe we had watched the great film “The business of
> being born” and had been given a recommendation by our UK midwife of
> a midwife in the States. We discovered it was not only the midwife in
> this film but that she was living two streets away from us in the
> East village opposite a restaurant called “Matilda”!
>
> During our pre birth work we had been doing a lot of studying,
> finding out about midwifery and had been amazed by Michel Odent's and
> also Ina May Gaskin's work. Lots of the literature could easily be
> interchangeable with work on creativity/opening space. For example:
> Odent's  advice that he usually turns up at a birth and says: “Do you
> mind if I go take a nap in the room down the corridor.” Also “the
> best place for an obstetricians hands are in his pockets” etc.. All
> this work is about space.. space.. opening space.. Holding space. Its
> about trusting in emergence, whilst holding off on intervention.
>
> Over the next four days with the help of our amazing Midwife Cara and
> our Doula Angelique we went on an extraordinary roller coaster of
> physical and emotional experience. They were both fantastic at
> holding and creating a safe space for us both and they allowed me to
> support Matilda in following herself mentally and physically.
>
> It was an incredibly challenging birth because of what turned out to
> be our little son's position against Matilda's back, so it was very
> long and although it looked like we may have to go to hospital at the
> later stages, our wonderful Midwife and Doula and their team of
> helpers who appeared in various guises throughout the three days
> pulled us through and our home birth happened as we had hoped. Others
> who helped were Pat an astonishing acupuncturist who turned up on the
> Thursday night who just happened to be nearby and gave Matilda
> "liquid hips”! and Miriam a midwife colleague of Cara's who appeared
> because she had texted Cara to meet for a coffee just when we needed
> support because it looked like the baby’s heart was slowing. She
> walked through the door to see the babies head crowning. Truly
> whoever comes are the right people! She then helped getting the baby
> out fast with Cara to speed things up as his heart was slowing. We
> stood Matilda up and the baby was born not in the pool but in front
> of our sofa. (Wherever it happens is the right place.)
>
> As well as them, Matilda was of course amazing and inspiring. Doing
> it all without painkillers and using only myself, a birthing pool,
> the open space principles and repeated playings of "The Bare
> Necessities" to get her through.
>
> At 8.47am on the 6th Jan 2012 the baby was born. Because of his
> difficult route his head was squished into a rather dramatic lopsided
> horn, (“be prepared to be surprised” and “whatever happens is the
> only thing that could have”), which quickly disappeared. Riddley
> Wilbur McDermott (Whoever comes are the right people.) is now doing
> very well. He is particularly beautiful.
>
> Here's a photo of him:
>
> http://clusterform.tumblr.com/post/16137649871/riddley-wilbur-mcdermott-libatique-73-lens-kodot
>
>  Our birth has now happened. (when it's over it's over) But the space
> that has opened where our baby boy now exists is astounding, scary,
> exhilarating and profoundly humbling. We love him.
>
> For our new family it is of course just beginning...  (When it's not
> over it's not over.)
>
>
> Lots of love
>
> Phelim X
>
> ________________________________
>
> I generally pick up emails only at the beginning and end of the
> working day. I am currently aiming to respond the following day. If
> it is urgent please call me on 07956 187298.
> _____________________________________
>
> www.improbable.co.uk @openspacer @wosonos2012
>
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-- 
Michael M Pannwitz, boscop eg
Draisweg 1, 12209 Berlin, Germany
++49-30-772 8000
mmpanne at boscop.org	www.boscop.org


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