re honouring each other

[Denise Tennen]

Thank you so much for your comments, Wendy

Denise
On Nov 20, 2009, at 4:51 AM, Wendy Farmer-O'Neil wrote:

> In my experience, truth is relative.  It depends essentially on my  
> perspective.  The vaster my perspective, the more many-faceted  
> truth appears.  Until the very notion of truth becomes more of a  
> living process than a static fact.
>
> I have experienced contraction in the resonant field of OSList  
> throughout this conversation.  To me that signals the presence of  
> aggression.  Aggression can be very subtle or very blatant.  Either  
> way, it stimulates hurt, often in those other than its target.
>
> I am a student of Aikido, so violence, non-violence, aggression,  
> its evocation, its arising, and its transformation are my daily  
> bread.  I still have a lifetime’s worth to learn about it.  I  
> believe that the purpose of conflict is harmony.  What I have  
> learned so far, is that aggression is a destructive, life denying  
> vector in that equation.  And that clean heart anger is a  
> generative life affirming vector.
>
> I have yet to hear clean heart anger in this conversation.  I have  
> heard a lot of aggression in a variety of forms and guises.  I have  
> also heard hurt, pain, sadness, confusion, frustration, to name a few.
>
> I will share what my experience has been in service to transparency  
> if it serves no better purpose.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear OS and NVC spoken of as tools  
> because for me, they have become profound ways of being in the world.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear pain in Chris Corrigan’s voice when  
> he wonders why this conversation needs to unfold this way between  
> people he cares about.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear blame, shame and name-calling.
>
> I feel contraction when I recognize the operation of a poisoned  
> well argument.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear someone caught in the steel jaws of  
> an old hurt.
>
> I feel contraction when i hear the pain of someone who has had to  
> fight too damn hard for every inch and breath.
>
> I feel contraction when I see more unsubscribes in a day than I  
> usually see in a month.
>
> I feel care, concern, pain, and sadness when I think of all of you  
> in this circle who are listening or speaking.  It is you who I most  
> want to speak to right now.
>
> Here is my hand.
>
> I offer it in absolute commitment.  I will never put you out of my  
> heart. I will hold space with and for you through it all.  Even in  
> our most shadowed , unloved and disowned places.  I’m game to face  
> the monsters of the deep.  I prefer them to the shallows.
>
> I will name that the use of violence and aggression cloaked as the  
> servant of truth has been the strategy of many who would prefer to  
> silence, persecute, oppress and discredit those whose opinions or  
> choices were in conflict with their own agendas.  It has been the  
> root of much human suffering.  I can feel suffering present on this  
> list right now.  I don’t like it.  I won’t support it.  I am  
> saddened that people I admire and respect are behaving this way.  I  
> am requesting that it stop. I am also requesting that the back- 
> channel story-telling stop.  If you do not have the integrity to  
> air your complaints directly, at least have the decency not to  
> perpetrate slander. (And I am speaking about everyone involved not  
> one person in particular, because I’m certain it’s going on in  
> several directions.)
>
> I guess we have finally grown up.  We are apparently big enough,  
> brave enough, and ready enough to face a real dragon.  Can’t wait  
> to see what we do with the treasure.
>
> In deepest respect and with great love for you all,
>
> Wendy
>
>
>
>
>
> On 20-Nov-09, at 1:12 AM, Michael Herman wrote:
>
> Wendy Farmer-O'Neil
> CEO Prospera Consulting
> wendy at xe.net
> 1-800-713-2351
>
> The moment of change is the only poem. -- Adrienne Rich
>
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