re honouring each other

Fri Nov 20 06:52:52 PST 2009

Dear Wendy,

Beautifully spoken/written.  Your post brings to mind the nugget that  
stuck out for me at the recent Systems Thinking conference.  It came  
from Senge's keynote.  Perhaps some will find it useful to reflect on  
this as way to renew the best of what the OSLIST has been and wishes  
to become.

I paraphrase:

Change begins with me/us. Not someone out there.
What allows life to continue can be found in what we conserve - that  
is how life evolves.
I offer it here as it could be useful to begin a process of healing.

The question then becomes:

What do I want to conserv?
What do I want to let go of?

I read in  your eloquence that which you wish to conserve as your  
commitments and that which you wish to let go in the form of requests  
for stopping.

I will follow your model then by saying that I wish to conserve  
curiosity in times of difficulty.
I am relatively new to the list so I still feel apart from this group  
as community.   I'm not sure what I would wish to let go of - perhaps  
my sense of helplessness as a witness to pain and suffering.

Lucy Garrick

On Nov 20, 2009, at 2:51 AM, Wendy Farmer-O'Neil wrote:

> In my experience, truth is relative.  It depends essentially on my  
> perspective.  The vaster my perspective, the more many-faceted truth  
> appears.  Until the very notion of truth becomes more of a living  
> process than a static fact.
>
> I have experienced contraction in the resonant field of OSList  
> throughout this conversation.  To me that signals the presence of  
> aggression.  Aggression can be very subtle or very blatant.  Either  
> way, it stimulates hurt, often in those other than its target.
>
> I am a student of Aikido, so violence, non-violence, aggression, its  
> evocation, its arising, and its transformation are my daily bread.   
> I still have a lifetime’s worth to learn about it.  I believe that  
> the purpose of conflict is harmony.  What I have learned so far, is  
> that aggression is a destructive, life denying vector in that  
> equation.  And that clean heart anger is a generative life affirming  
> vector.
>
> I have yet to hear clean heart anger in this conversation.  I have  
> heard a lot of aggression in a variety of forms and guises.  I have  
> also heard hurt, pain, sadness, confusion, frustration, to name a few.
>
> I will share what my experience has been in service to transparency  
> if it serves no better purpose.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear OS and NVC spoken of as tools because  
> for me, they have become profound ways of being in the world.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear pain in Chris Corrigan’s voice when  
> he wonders why this conversation needs to unfold this way between  
> people he cares about.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear blame, shame and name-calling.
>
> I feel contraction when I recognize the operation of a poisoned well  
> argument.
>
> I feel contraction when I hear someone caught in the steel jaws of  
> an old hurt.
>
> I feel contraction when i hear the pain of someone who has had to  
> fight too damn hard for every inch and breath.
>
> I feel contraction when I see more unsubscribes in a day than I  
> usually see in a month.
>
> I feel care, concern, pain, and sadness when I think of all of you  
> in this circle who are listening or speaking.  It is you who I most  
> want to speak to right now.
>
> Here is my hand.
>
> I offer it in absolute commitment.  I will never put you out of my  
> heart. I will hold space with and for you through it all.  Even in  
> our most shadowed , unloved and disowned places.  I’m game to face  
> the monsters of the deep.  I prefer them to the shallows.
>
> I will name that the use of violence and aggression cloaked as the  
> servant of truth has been the strategy of many who would prefer to  
> silence, persecute, oppress and discredit those whose opinions or  
> choices were in conflict with their own agendas.  It has been the  
> root of much human suffering.  I can feel suffering present on this  
> list right now.  I don’t like it.  I won’t support it.  I am  
> saddened that people I admire and respect are behaving this way.  I  
> am requesting that it stop. I am also requesting that the back- 
> channel story-telling stop.  If you do not have the integrity to air  
> your complaints directly, at least have the decency not to  
> perpetrate slander. (And I am speaking about everyone involved not  
> one person in particular, because I’m certain it’s going on in  
> several directions.)
>
> I guess we have finally grown up.  We are apparently big enough,  
> brave enough, and ready enough to face a real dragon.  Can’t wait to  
> see what we do with the treasure.
>
> In deepest respect and with great love for you all,
>
> Wendy
>
>
>
>
>
> On 20-Nov-09, at 1:12 AM, Michael Herman wrote:
>
> Wendy Farmer-O'Neil
> CEO Prospera Consulting
> wendy at xe.net
> 1-800-713-2351
>
> The moment of change is the only poem. -- Adrienne Rich
>
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