re honouring each other

[Esther Ewing]

Wendy:
I very much appreciate your words of significant wisdom.

I join you with my hand held out in commitment to openness and caring and building community. 

I, too, have felt the contraction.

May we build and rebuild our community with a spirit of generosity and of compassion for each others' differences and perspectives.

Blessings,
Esther
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

-----Original Message-----
From: "Wendy Farmer-O'Neil" <wendy at xe.net>
Date:         Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:51:02 
To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Subject: Re: [OSLIST] re honouring each other

In my experience, truth is relative.  It depends essentially on my  
perspective.  The vaster my perspective, the more many-faceted truth  
appears.  Until the very notion of truth becomes more of a living  
process than a static fact.

I have experienced contraction in the resonant field of OSList  
throughout this conversation.  To me that signals the presence of  
aggression.  Aggression can be very subtle or very blatant.  Either  
way, it stimulates hurt, often in those other than its target.

I am a student of Aikido, so violence, non-violence, aggression, its  
evocation, its arising, and its transformation are my daily bread.  I  
still have a lifetime’s worth to learn about it.  I believe that the  
purpose of conflict is harmony.  What I have learned so far, is that  
aggression is a destructive, life denying vector in that equation.   
And that clean heart anger is a generative life affirming vector.

I have yet to hear clean heart anger in this conversation.  I have  
heard a lot of aggression in a variety of forms and guises.  I have  
also heard hurt, pain, sadness, confusion, frustration, to name a few.

I will share what my experience has been in service to transparency if  
it serves no better purpose.

I feel contraction when I hear OS and NVC spoken of as tools because  
for me, they have become profound ways of being in the world.

I feel contraction when I hear pain in Chris Corrigan’s voice when he  
wonders why this conversation needs to unfold this way between people  
he cares about.

I feel contraction when I hear blame, shame and name-calling.

I feel contraction when I recognize the operation of a poisoned well  
argument.

I feel contraction when I hear someone caught in the steel jaws of an  
old hurt.

I feel contraction when i hear the pain of someone who has had to  
fight too damn hard for every inch and breath.

I feel contraction when I see more unsubscribes in a day than I  
usually see in a month.

I feel care, concern, pain, and sadness when I think of all of you in  
this circle who are listening or speaking.  It is you who I most want  
to speak to right now.

Here is my hand.

I offer it in absolute commitment.  I will never put you out of my  
heart. I will hold space with and for you through it all.  Even in our  
most shadowed , unloved and disowned places.  I’m game to face the  
monsters of the deep.  I prefer them to the shallows.

I will name that the use of violence and aggression cloaked as the  
servant of truth has been the strategy of many who would prefer to  
silence, persecute, oppress and discredit those whose opinions or  
choices were in conflict with their own agendas.  It has been the root  
of much human suffering.  I can feel suffering present on this list  
right now.  I don’t like it.  I won’t support it.  I am saddened that  
people I admire and respect are behaving this way.  I am requesting  
that it stop. I am also requesting that the back-channel story-telling  
stop.  If you do not have the integrity to air your complaints  
directly, at least have the decency not to perpetrate slander. (And I  
am speaking about everyone involved not one person in particular,  
because I’m certain it’s going on in several directions.)

I guess we have finally grown up.  We are apparently big enough, brave  
enough, and ready enough to face a real dragon.  Can’t wait to see  
what we do with the treasure.

In deepest respect and with great love for you all,

Wendy





On 20-Nov-09, at 1:12 AM, Michael Herman wrote:

Wendy Farmer-O'Neil
CEO Prospera Consulting
wendy at xe.net
1-800-713-2351

The moment of change is the only poem. -- Adrienne Rich

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