Invitation

[Suzanne Daigle]

Before invitation, conversation.  Is it wrong to feel and see opportunities
for opening space based on those conversations that happen every day in so
many places? I feel myself listening differently now, engaging differently
not to be leading people but to discover how life is where they are right
now.  I notice often the energy shifting as we talk about what's not working
and what their world, our world would be like if... It's a conversation of
many stories. With a certain longing, in that present moment, I hear hope
and feel the positive energy about a future that could be different; I hear
courage and the whispers of plans not yet shared with others but certainly
in the mind .  More often than not, the plans have to do with escaping where
they are to start anew somewhere else. Very rarely do I hear plans for
changing or improving the current place where they are.  It's as if people
cannot conceive this in the same way that people cannot conceive what
happens in Open Space until they live it. They can't seem to conceive Super
High Performance and a significantly improved quality of life in their
current work situation based on the complex messes that are out there. Too
big a leap somehow. Yet hope is still there buried somewhere.

If I mention Open Space, I can feel people pulling back -- worrying already
as they cling to their facade, fearing that they would need to expose what
they guard closely--themselves.  Then we might talk a little more, and I
feel them drawn again as they imagine non-hierarchical, diverse
conversations on topics that matter that people are passionate about and
want to take responsibility for. Again, hope and courage re-surfaces.

I see patterns, like a dance where we go back and forth. The longing to try
and the fear about the unknown.   Until the very end, to the point where the
Open Space is about to start, I feel stress in the air.  Do I nudge, entice
and ignite? Yes. Do I talk with many prior to? Yes not to describe in any
detail but just to be there listening quietly, for them to know me then and
know my invitation.  Do I bend people against their will? No or hopefully
not.

It is still very difficult to find that balance to not persuade in the wrong
way and to only nudge in a caring way.  When you know the transformative
impact and power of Open Space, it is extremely hard I find to keep it
bottled inside.

In the end, as I imagine a tipping point to be "opening space" more often in
all kinds of places, I believe it will come from the conversations that
precede invitations -- conversations that may or may not lead to Open Space
per se; yet important conversations that are still opening space.


Suzanne












On Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 3:51 PM, Ralph Copleman <rcopleman at comcast.net>wrote:

> Power, control, and "WOW"...
>
> When I extend an invitation for OS, I am aware that at least some of those
> I am inviting may feel I am attempting to exercise a degree of power and
> control over some portion of their time and/or mind.  No matter how much
> "Wow" I think I have put into my invitation, I have no control whatsoever
> over what others think.
>
> My practice is to begin holding space the moment I commit to a meeting.
>  This is the way I know to be congruent with what I understand to be open
> space.  If I seek to bend people against their inclination into thinking
> that the meeting is a good idea, important, etc., and then show up and say,
> "Welcome to open space," well then, I haven't been completely consistent.
>  And the space is not really open.
>
> People accept invitations based on the way they think, perceive, think,
> trust, and/or project.  Their lives include a range of circumstances and
> previous commitments.  If I'm authentically holding the space right from the
> moment the idea of the gathering is conceived, there is nothing about the
> choice to accept the invitation that is not completely theirs.  I may, of
> course, offer persuasion, promote possible benefits, or use enticing
> language and images.  As a former public relations practitioner, I am not
> adverse to employing these tools, but I seek a balance that communicates my
> position and beliefs on one hand and the opportunity available to them on
> the other.
>
> So I have trouble with the idea that invitations "fail".  I like what HO
> says about investigating how I could do things better if nobody shows, and I
> must ultimately let "Whoever comes..." be my guide.  But if people are
> unavailable, too busy, too far away, or just not interested, well, I just
> figure I'm ahead of the curve!
>
> From sunny New Jersey, USA,
>
> Ralph Copleman
>
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-- 
Suzanne Daigle
NuFocus Strategic Group
7159 Victoria Circle
University Park, FL 34201
FL 941-359-8877;  CT 203-722-2009
www.nufocusgroup.com
s.daigle at nufocusgroup.com

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