The Chaordic Dance Continues! The talking stick
Harrison Owen
hhowen at verizon.net
Tue Jan 23 14:53:06 PST 2007
The Talking Stick has become sort of an "institution" in Open Space, if only
because it seems to fit with what we do and the way we do it. For those of
you who may not be familiar with it -- the talking stick is the singular
gift of the 1st Nation People of the North America. Doubtless other Peoples
have similar forms and traditions, but this is the one I knew best. I used
it, not because it was some esoteric tradition, but simply because it has
always worked in profound ways -- at least in my experience. The First
Nation People will tell you, and I totally agree -- the Talking Stick should
never be used in a trivial way. But it is also true that the use is
elegantly simply in the extreme (very much like Open Space!). The rules are
very simple. If you hold the stick, you may speak. If you do not, you will
listen. But in either case you will speak or listen with respect. In short
this is not a dialogue, conversation, or argument. It is, as The People
might say, speaking wisdom as you perceive the wisdom. If you want some of
the details, it is all there in the User's Guide (Page 135, I think).
And does it have to be a stick? Actually almost anything can and has worked
as a "talking object" -- a microphone, magic marker, rock, etc. And my
favorite is an evergreen branch. First off it has a gentle grace which a
"stick" does not. And, for whatever it is worth, it is a universal symbol
for life and renewal. It also smells good. When a group of people hold an
evergreen branch over time -- the warmth of their hands warm the wood, and
the sap flows. Maybe a little sticky, but each person will be left with an
olfactory remembrance of the gathering. Sweet!
Harrison Owen
7808 River Falls Drive
Potomac, Maryland 20854
Phone 301-365-2093
Skype hhowen
Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com
Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org
Personal website www.ho-image.com
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-----Original Message-----
From: OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] On Behalf Of Diana
Larsen
Sent: Tuesday, January 23, 2007 2:40 PM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Re: The Chaordic Dance Continues! The talking stick
Hi Raffi, Louise, and all,
Instead of bringing my own much-loved talking stick, I've shifted to
watching for what might emerge in the group as a meaningful "talking
object", maybe like your marker, Louise. That's the best because it's
attached to the group mind. It doesn't always happen though.
When I'm facilitating meetings, fidget toys can help people stay
focused. (koosh balls, chenille stems, etc.) I learned from a
colleague that some people can say difficult and/or emotional things
more easily when they have a soft stuffed animal to hold and pet. So,
I began including them in my facilitator kit.
Now, in case the talking object doesn't emerge, I bring a back-up
small stuffed toy that I think _could_ connect with the group. For
example, in a group where a "chickens and pigs" involvement metaphor
is strong, I will have a small stuffed pig on hand. In an
organization where the project name/metaphor was SOLAR, I found a
teddy bear with a sun embroidered on its belly. I look for a toy
people can hold in one hand with very soft, touchable "fur". (I've
drawn some interesting looks from other shoppers as I methodically
feel all the animals in a store to find the softest.)
As the toy travels the circle, I see some people just hold it while
they talk, then pass it on, and I see others who thoughtfully stroke
its fur or gently pull its ears while they think about what they have
to say. It seems to help some participants find their voice in the
large circle.
I prefer to find the emergent talking object, but as a backup the
stuffed toy works as well. Someone always wants/needs to take the toy
away as a reminder of the Open Space, and the group decides to give
it to them. Which feels like another nice touch to me. The object
stays in the group.
Diana
Diana Larsen
503-288-3550 www.futureworksconsulting.com
co-author, "Agile Retrospectives: Making Good Teams Great!"
Amazon Best Books of 2006
Top Ten Editors' Picks: computer & internet
http://tinyurl.com/ynacvb
Attend "Agile Open Northwest 2007: Agile for Real" January 30-31
2007, Portland OR
http://www.agileopennorthwest.org
On Jan 23, 2007, at 10:50 AM, louise wrote:
> Hi Raffi,
>
> I understand how the talking stick may feel awkward. To me, this is
> a tool that helps to bring respect and dignity to a conversation
> through deep listening. And it reminds us of the spirit of OST. As
> you suggest, I usually leave it in the middle of the circle and
> provide something else to handle. Such as a small rock, also known
> as a power objet. i.e the power of the Word. I have a collection of
> small rocks in my tool box, because people often leave with them...
>
> I once used a marker as talking stick because this was all what we
> had. And a very powerfull deep conflit resolution happened.
>
> From experience with a talking stick, it is a lot less awkward, and
> much more powerfull, whatever object we use, if people commit to
> use it first. And it takes somme minutes before the tone and rythm
> sets in.I alos ask people to personally deliver the talking object
> to whoever they want to hear, instead of leaving it in the middle
> of the circle as the tradition goes.
>
> The trick is that it seem like such an simple tool. But, given the
> usual discussion or debate mode we are used to, true conversation -
> and this is what the talking stick invites us to, might need some
> previous distinctions between those modes. I use the story of the
> talking stick as an introduction to the conversation mode.
>
> To me, using an object that the group can relate to as their own is
> probably helpfull.
>
> And I hope to be of some help here
>
> Raffi Aftandelian <raffi at BK.RU> a écrit : Date : Mon, 22 Jan 2007
> 15:52:31 -0700
> De : Raffi Aftandelian <raffi at BK.RU>
> Objet: Re: OSONOS -- The Chaordic Dance Continues!
> À : OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
>
> Dear fellow spaceholders,
>
> Much of this discussion about the evolution of the OSonOS is about
> how we
> are developing as a community/organization, our relationship to our
> own
> traditions, and how we develop new ones.
>
> I have attended three international OSonOS, in 2004, in 2005, and co-
> hosted the last one. And have been on this list since 2001. From
> where I
> sit i see a second generation of spaceholders coming of age ("G2").
> Might
> there also be a G1/G2 divide or gap? Don't know. I do notice that the
> discussion of the evolution of the OS on OS seems to be happening
> at the
> time of a significant evolution of the OS on OS, most specifically as
> represented by the OS on OS by the Sea, which maybe I'll be able to
> make
> this year.
>
> Why is this relevant? I am not entirely sure but I do know that it is
> asking to be said.
>
> I *do* want to add another question to further complicate the mix. I
> implied in Moscow that I was not sure of the place the talking
> stick that
> Chris Corrigan so generously gave to the world OS community/
> organization
> in the OSonOS. At each OSonOS I have noticed just how unwieldy or
> awkward
> it has been for people to hold it. Even when we have been given
> guidelines
> on how to hold it, what it means, etc., people have not observed it
> and
> treated it appropriately. The end of the stick has been pointed up, at
> other people. Other examples galore.
>
> The talking stick and the OSonOS -- it has felt like an awkward fit.
>
> I learned that I probably misused the stick in Moscow...and I'd
> been to
> two OSonOS'es previous. Am I just a hopeless case? Talking stick
> learning
> disabled as it were?
>
> Or...might it be time to introduce something else as a speaking
> object at
> the next OSonOS? Perhaps the Vancouver talking stick could stay in the
> middle of the circle as a way of honoring our Elders, but not as a
> speaking object? And maybe the hosts at future OSonOS'es could use
> a local
> object, something found near the grounds of the OSonOS location?
>
> Jana, your thoughts?
>
> warmly and in appreciation,
> raffi
>
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>
> Louise Brissette
> ipsé, soi-même en latin
> louisebrissette at ipsai.net
> http://ipsai.net
> +1.514.271.0318
> un leadership créateur : pour une écologie du travail
> http://leadershipcreateur.wordpress.com
>
> Personnalisez Yahoo! à votre goût Essayez Mon Yahoo! * *
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