opening space with despise

[Joelle Lyons Everett]

Filiz--

Your question is one I have considered for myself, and it is not an easy one 
for me.

What came up when I thought about it was a story I heard once from Carol 
Erickson, who was the daughter of the well-known psychologist Milton Erickson, and 
a psychotherapist herself.

A man came to her once and asked to become a client.   She asked what his 
goal was, and he said that he wanted to develop his business and have a happier 
and more fulfilling life.   She asked what his business was, and he said he was 
a drug dealer.   She told him that she would have to think this over, and 
they made an appointment for the following day.

After much thought, she came the following day and told him that she could 
not support him in developing his drug business, but she would be willing to 
help him work on a happier and more fulfilling life.   The man said that one 
thing that would make him happier would be a better relationship with his son (he 
was divorced).   Working on this goal, he developed a plan to become more 
involved with his son's sports team (baseball or soccer, I can't remember).

After some time went by, the team needed another coach, and he was asked if 
he would like to help.   He decided that if he were going to be at his best on 
the days he was coaching, he would not use marijuana those days.   As he got 
more involved with coaching and with his son, he stopped both using and selling 
drugs, and applied his business skills in some other, legitimate field.

I thought this was a great story of looking at the ethics of a client 
situation and being clear about what she could do with integrity.   And of course she 
made her decision using the same method that Erich recommended!

Best of luck,

Joelle





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