How do you respond to unsatisfying experiences of "open" space?
Michael M Pannwitz
mmpanne at boscop.de
Sat Jan 28 09:03:04 PST 2006
Oh, I like this as a snake belly low and mean response when someone
comes up to me and says something about not having liked being in an
open space:
"Oh yes, I have met people that were disappointed by spending time at
oceans and mountains"
or
"Oh yes, I have met people that didnt enjoy chocolate ice cream with
whipped cream"
or
"Oh yes, I have met people that....fill in".
I love it, Jack!
This might be a really good remedy for my being bored with people
telling me about their experience in open space.
There have been situations where people tell me about having been at so
called os events. Last week an 82 year old participant smiling sweetly
came up to me before the event and said:
"I have been to an os event and I didnt like it."
After the event she came up to me and said, smiling sweetly
"Now, that I have been at this event I dislike the one I was at even more."
Having been to the "Facilitatin the Whole System in The Room" where I
practice saying "This has nothing to do with me" when someone shits on
me or praises what I do, I knew that it was all in the perception of
that sweet lady and had much more to do with her than with me.
Have a great weekend worldwide (not internationally)
Greetings from Berlin
mmp
Jack Ricchiuto wrote:
> I think your emphasis, Harrison, on learning is very fair and compelling.
>
> For perspective, I remind myself that I know as many people who have
> been disappointed by spending time in open space as I know people who
> have been disappointed by spending time at oceans and mountains.
>
> Of course people can come to open space with (impatient/passionate)
> expectations that represent a depth of insight and action that may take
> several open spaces to achieve. Why call any single step on the path
> failure when each step is in itself complete success as a vital step
> along the way? Open space invites us to love the destination that
> resides in our hearts, the path, and each (w)holy step.
>
>
> Jack
>
>
> __.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__.__
>
> jack ricchiuto
> two.one.six/three.seven.three/seven.four.seven.five
> www.designinglife.com / www.appreciativeleadership.com
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> *From: *Harrison Owen <hhowen at verizon.net>
> *Organization: *HH Owen and Co.
> *Reply-To: *<hhowen at verizon.net>
> *Date: *Sat, 28 Jan 2006 08:38:18 -0500
> *To: *<OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
> *Subject: *Re: How do you respond to unsatisfying experiences of "open"
> space?
>
> Christy Wrote: What, if anything, do you say/do/think when someone says
> to you, "oh, I've been to an Open Space Technology meeting before, and I
> didn't like it, and wouldn't want to do it again," and upon gentle
> inquiry you discover that what they were told was "Open Space" was not
> really so very open? And/or that something was missing (for example,
> session summaries weren't posted or shared or compiled in a timely way,
> or at all)? And especially when the spaces in question were held by
> really wonderful people (definitely possessing "good heads and good
> hearts") whom you like very much?
>
>
>
> Christy I can definitely see the tenderness of the situation. I’ve been
> there once or twice. The first part seems pretty easy – which I have
> dealt with by saying something like, “I am not sure why XX did it the
> way they did – but ordinarily I ….(fill in the blanks).” Then we come to
> the diplomatic part – but maybe the most essential. One of the basic
> principles for me in our Open Space Community is that we share what we
> learn. Most times it seems that we can share the good times and the good
> new ideas and insights (Open Space always works for most people J). Then
> we have situations such as you are talking about. A little difficult for
> sure, but the learning possibilities are really great. You might say
> something like …”I was talking to one of your participants and she/he
> said that ____ didn’t quite work for them. What do you suppose we could
> learn from that? And how could we do it better? Seems to me that puts
> the whole conversation in a win/win mode. You learn something, your
> friend learns something -- and then if you share the insights – we all
> learn something.
>
> I have found that deep learning always takes place at the points of
> anomaly or mal-function, -- those instances when something happened that
> should not have taken place. Or -- didn’t happen when it should have.
> All of a sudden I am aware of “difference.” And difference for me is the
> cutting edge of learning. When everything works as expected, just like
> usual – that is wonderful, but I don’t think we learn very much or at
> least no learning that makes a difference.
>
> And of course, learning is always painful to some degree. I mean real
> learning – because assimilating difference can be rather a pain. When it
> becomes clear that the old comfortable pattern, idea, way of being just
> won’t make it any more, letting go has its cost. And sometimes it is
> very painful. Let’s suppose that your friend was basically a control
> freak in disguise (we all are to some extent). She/he said all the right
> words, but at the end of the day, the need to be “in charge” was just
> overwhelming. And it showed. And the space closed, and the folks were
> unhappy.
>
> Bringing that sort of thing to the surface can really be hard. But the
> “up” side is immense. Perhaps she/he really wanted to let go, but wasn’t
> able to. You could help. Or maybe he/she really thought she/he should be
> in charge, in which case Open Space is definitely not the proper cup of
> tea. Well you get the idea.
>
> Harrison
>
>
>
>
> Harrison Owen
>
> 7808 River Falls Drive
>
> Potomac, Maryland 20854
>
> Phone 301-365-2093
>
> Skype hhowen
>
> Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com <http://www.openspaceworld.com/>
>
> Open Space Institute www.openspaceworld.org
> <http://www.openspaceworld.org/>
>
> Personal website www.ho-image.com <http://www.ho-image.com/>
>
> OSLIST: To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the
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>
> -----Original Message-----
> *From:* OSLIST [mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU] *On Behalf Of
> *Christy Lee-Engel
> *Sent:* Friday, January 27, 2006 11:30 PM
> *To:* OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
> *Subject:* How do you respond to unsatisfying experiences of "open" space?
>
> Hello dear open space friends,
>
> What, if anything, do you say/do/think when someone says to you, "oh,
> I've been to an Open Space Technology meeting before, and I didn't like
> it, and wouldn't want to do it again,"
>
> and upon gentle inquiry you discover that what they were told was "Open
> Space" was not really so very open? And/or that something was missing
> (for example, session summaries weren't posted or shared or compiled in
> a timely way, or at all)?
>
> And especially when the spaces in question were held by really wonderful
> people (definitely possessing "good heads and good hearts") whom you
> like very much?
>
> thank you,
> Christy Lee-Engel
> Seattle
> --
> weblog: http://lifecultivatinglife.blogspot.com * *
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