Cross Cultural Facilitation

[Tree Fitzpatrick]

Thanks for the challenge, Paul. I have deeply considered what it might be
like to know that you would never be able to give birth to a new life: I
think this is the esssence of male/female duality. And I have read lots of
Bly. Have you read lots of Simone de Beauvoir or Riane Eisler or Mary
Oliver?! It probably would not please you Paul to know that I pretty much
believe that the dominator culture is all about controlling male sperm. . .
. but this is just what I think and I get to be me and you get to be you.
 I have a challenge in return to you, Paul: when I am sharing my thoughts, I
am not 'vibrating' with 'all the loaded words'. I get to be me and if you
find yourself vibrating when you hear my words, I challenge you to ask
yourself why it is that you are vibrating, why you hear 'loaded words' when
I am not proselytizing at all. . . I am being me out loud, which may or may
not belong on this list but I get to be me all the time, no matter what. I
know I am a powerful woman and I know that often people perceive my words
much more powerfully than I myself had intended and this dynamic used to
make me inclined to tamp myself down. But I've done lots and lots and lots
of work on myself and when I am writing about male/female dynamics from my
perspective, I do not write (or inwardly hold) with blame or judgment
towards my readers/listeners. The vibration that allowed you to label my
simply being myself out loud, Paul, came from you. Not me. You don't have to
react to my words at all. You can be equanimous in each moment, as I aspire
to be. I have a newish rule for my online posts: if I am feeling calm and
peaceful when I write it, I post. If I am feeling unsettled with any uneven
vibrations, I don't hit the send button.
 And something we agree on: I prefer to avoid using the word 'facilitator'.
I used it in this thread because others had. I like "Space Opener/Holder"
better.
 Down at the very bottom of this note is my signature, which is
automatically included by gmail in every email I sent out. If it gets lost
before it finds its way to your mailbox, Paul, the deletion must come from
your email software or your machine.
 P.S. I no longer use the name "Therese", Paul, and I would love it if you
could address me using "Tree".

 On 10/2/05, EVERETT813 at aol.com <EVERETT813 at aol.com> wrote:
>
> Dear OS Folks,
>
> Well, having read the thread to now, an idea popped into my white male
> brain---maybe we need to drop the word "facilitation" and "facilitator",
> since it usually implies a facilitator-centric mindset and model, and go
> with "open space holder" or something else like that. If one is the "holder
> of space", one is definitely in the background, invisible to what is going
> on. Maybe "Space Opener" is another useable nom d'plume? (bad French) "Open
> Space Holder" might be invisible enough?
>
> As for Therese's challenge, when I had stopped vibrating from all the
> loaded words, I thought it might be useful for the female psyche to deeply
> consider what it might be like to know that you would NEVER be able to give
> birth to a new life. That the masculine participation in that event is now
> not even needed and was only very brief in earlier times. Just rest there
> for a while before you continue.
>
> There are extremely deep fears of uselessness buried in the male psyche,
> which are kept at bay by a focus on external achievement. The entire rest of
> the cosmos is deeply fecund feminine. The masculine knows this and
> desperately tries not to be subsumed into nothingness. Ponder that for a
> brief moment. No, think rather deeply about it. Read a little Bly. Be
> careful, you may get what you wish for and discover you don't like it, not
> at all.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Paul Everett
>
>


--
Warmly,
Tree Fitzpatrick
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." George Elliot

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