<div>Thanks for the challenge, Paul. I have deeply considered what it might be like to know that you would never be able to give birth to a new life: I think this is the esssence of male/female duality. And I have read lots of Bly. Have you read lots of Simone de Beauvoir or Riane Eisler or Mary Oliver?! It probably would not please you Paul to know that I pretty much believe that the dominator culture is all about controlling male sperm. . . . but this is just what I think and I get to be me and you get to be you.
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<div>I have a challenge in return to you, Paul: when I am sharing my thoughts, I am not 'vibrating' with 'all the loaded words'. I get to be me and if you find yourself vibrating when you hear my words, I challenge you to ask yourself why it is that you are vibrating, why you hear 'loaded words' when I am not proselytizing at all. . . I am being me out loud, which may or may not belong on this list but I get to be me all the time, no matter what. I know I am a powerful woman and I know that often people perceive my words much more powerfully than I myself had intended and this dynamic used to make me inclined to tamp myself down. But I've done lots and lots and lots of work on myself and when I am writing about male/female dynamics from my perspective, I do not write (or inwardly hold) with blame or judgment towards my readers/listeners. The vibration that allowed you to label my simply being myself out loud, Paul, came from you. Not me. You don't have to react to my words at all. You can be equanimous in each moment, as I aspire to be. I have a newish rule for my online posts: if I am feeling calm and peaceful when I write it, I post. If I am feeling unsettled with any uneven vibrations, I don't hit the send button.
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<div>And something we agree on: I prefer to avoid using the word 'facilitator'. I used it in this thread because others had. I like "Space Opener/Holder" better.</div>
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<div>Down at the very bottom of this note is my signature, which is automatically included by gmail in every email I sent out. If it gets lost before it finds its way to your mailbox, Paul, the deletion must come from your email software or your machine.
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<div>P.S. I no longer use the name "Therese", Paul, and I would love it if you could address me using "Tree".<br><br> </div>
<div><span class="gmail_quote">On 10/2/05, <b class="gmail_sendername"><a href="mailto:EVERETT813@aol.com">EVERETT813@aol.com</a></b> <<a href="mailto:EVERETT813@aol.com">EVERETT813@aol.com</a>> wrote:</span>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="PADDING-LEFT: 1ex; MARGIN: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; BORDER-LEFT: #ccc 1px solid"><font face="arial,helvetica"><font face="Geneva" color="#000000" size="2">Dear OS Folks,<br></font><font face="Geneva" color="#000000" size="2">
<br>Well, having read the thread to now, an idea popped into my white male brain---</font><font face="Geneva" color="#000000" size="2">maybe we need to drop the word "facilitation" and "facilitator", since it usually implies a facilitator-centric mindset and model, and go with "open space holder" or something else like that. If one is the "holder of space", one is definitely in the background, invisible to what is going on. Maybe "Space Opener" is another useable nom d'plume? (bad French) "Open Space Holder" might be invisible enough?
<br><br>As for Therese's challenge, when I had stopped vibrating from all the loaded words, I thought it might be useful for the female psyche to deeply consider what it might be like to know that you would NEVER be able to give birth to a new life. That the masculine participation in that event is now not even needed and was only very brief in earlier times. Just rest there for a while before you continue.
<br><br>There are extremely deep fears of uselessness buried in the male psyche, which are kept at bay by a focus on external achievement. The entire rest of the cosmos is deeply fecund feminine. The masculine knows this and desperately tries not to be subsumed into nothingness. Ponder that for a brief moment. No, think rather deeply about it. Read a little Bly. Be careful, you may get what you wish for and discover you don't like it, not at all.
<br><br>Sincerely,<br><br>Paul Everett <br><br></font><font face="Geneva" color="#000000" size="2"></font></font></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Warmly,<br>Tree Fitzpatrick<br>"It is never too late to be what you might have been." George Elliot
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