inner aggression and the OST facilitator

[Pat Black]

Raffi,
I am deeply appreciative of your openness and willingness to talk about the position you find yourself in as OST facilitator. I have some comments.
You said,
"When I am reminded that OST meetings is about the group and not about me, I feel very humbled and sad. I am not sure how exactly to really "be" for the group. I  think this is a fundamental question."

I feel a bit differently about this.  You are not part of the group being served directly by the gathering but you are part of the group in that your presence influences what is happening in the present moment and I would say you play a really important part.  I don't agree with the notion that you can stay completely outside.  I think of the gathering as a soup.  The facilitator is the water and all others present are the ingredients for the soup.  You do not flavor the soup but you provide a base for the flavors from the ingredients to mix and create a distinctive taste.  No two soups are alike.

You said,
"For me, OST facilitation taken seriously strikes to the core of the question of "Who am I?" and "How do I choose to be in this whirled?" I cannot not ask these questions. I know that by having clarity on these issues I can be a much more effective OST facilitator."

I totally agree, you can not not ask these questions.  You have to know your role.  In the soup metaphor water invites all the ingredients to give up their characteristics without judgement.  It is the nature of water to be a solvent. Water is not interested in how the ingredients mix or the final flavor.  It just acts as a solvent.  It knows how to help each ingredient release its flavors.  Water focuses on the release of the flavor not the taste and to be sure not all soups taste good.  I am a New York City girl who lived on the water.  I can swear like a long shoreman and piss damn fuck and shit are adjectives to me. One would not be able to get an emotional read off of me when I am using them.  When I am the water I may or maynot use language depending on whether it helps me to be a better solvent.

You asked,
"What are ongoing practices to sort my needs from the group's? What keeps you present as a facilitator during OST? A good nap does, as does a walk."

I have two practices one in the present during the facilitation and the other outside the moment that helps me be more in the moment. Outside of facilitation I have a regular yoga practice with a teacher that focuses the class on being present in the moment.  This just gives me practice being present which allows me to be a better solvent.  While in the facilitation moment I acknowledge my own reactions and emotions as present.  If I feel agressive, angry or preturbed in some other way I look for the purpose that they will serve in this soup and head directly to the  purpose.  I don't know if that makes sense or not.  I just think everything that comes into the mix has a reason for being there and that the final flavor will be less confused or muddy if we can acknowledge the purpose.

Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Pat Black

*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist