communication

[Funda Oral]

Marei,

Not only aggression but every feeling teaches me how important and sensible is the way we communice.

Everytime i say ok now i have to communicate...I then have to find the best way to do it..the best way is 
when i am able to say what is correct for me (my truth) but without causing a damage ...(blaming,
criticizing so on)..politely, respectfuly....

I am getting better and better in doing this.

I observe that we (both woman and man) were taught to talk when we needed to make war ( to defend ourselves or to attack)
or  to hide ourselves (lie, talk to much.... )....that was what communication meant to be.

Hopefully things are changing.   

Funda       
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Marei Kiele 
  To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 
  Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2005 9:18 PM
  Subject: Re: on OST facilitator aggression, sexism (and all other garden variety and not so garden variety "isms"), politicalcorrectness, genocide, Raffi, Therese, Paul, Masud, and other closet OS listserv fratboys OR the wonders of opening space by pressing "Delete" in the ever expanding NOW




  Dear Lucas,

  you seem to be on an interesting track. Don't have time right now to get deeper in it.
  Probably it's somehow related with using the power of agression (because there is strength in it) to build something instead of destroying sth (even though sometimes something has to be destroyed to get enough space for building sth new.)

  What about taking the negative label from "agression"? What about seeing the feeling itself as okay and only looking at what do I do with it?

  As a (as I assume) typical female habit I have tried to live my life without agression for years and years. Every time I felt agression I would immediately punish myself and change into depression mode instead (unconsciously, of course; the punishing myself I did to avoid punishment from my surrounding, as I remember this is called "internalize" in psychology = unconsciously doing to oneself what earlier parents or society have done). Now I know that I have cut off acess to big part of my creative power by censoring myself the way I did.

  I would love to hear "positive" examples from this list of results that where reached with the power of agression.

  Marei





   "Lucas Gonzalez" <mailto:lgs0a at yahoo.es> schrieb:
  ...
  > I don't know if the idea is clear, as I myself am only starting to "get
  > it".
  > 
  > So, what about agression and jokes?  Could it be that our toxic
  > agressive energy is better used as a resource ... to be used somewhere
  > else and not within the same place where it was generated?  Could it be
  > that, whenever we sense agression, we should look around to see if have
  > not really invited the whole system into the same room, and we should
  > widen things a bit?  Maybe gender-related agressiveness is not gender
  > related at all?
  > 
  > Does this make any sense?  Does it take us anywhere?  You all know
  > more.
  > 
  > Lucas


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