Fourfold way and more (longish and on various topics)

[Raffi Aftandelian]

Dear Eva (and everyone else),

Others on the list I imagine have used the principles of the 4fold way
(Therese, for example) regularly. And they can add to this topic.

While I was going thru the Genuine Contact program in Raleigh right before
OSonOS, my not having done the exercises in Angeles Arrien\'s book came up time
and time again during the workshop. I have the book and I have read it but
never done the exercises. After having completed the GC program, I intend to do
the book\'s exercises. I think it is essential to being in OS/GC...

Those that I remember:
1. Show up and be present.
2.?
3. Tell the truth without blame or judgement.
4. Let go.

I understand (correct me if I\'m wrong) that the SpiritedWork community
introduce those practices in the opening of their OST meetings and many OST
practitioners of that community (Mark spoke of himself specifically) have been
voicing (and posting) these principles in their OST meetings for 8 years. I
realize that I could introduce some of these practices to some of the times I
open space.

I recall during Birgitt\'s workshop that just doing #1 regularly would take a
lot out of me...At least me thinking about it helps me realize how so much of
the time I am NOT present. How refreshing!

Therese, thanks much for your offer. While Mark did tell me a little about the
SpiritedWork community, I haven\'t had a chance to look at your website, which I
would do at some point. I really enjoyed the folks from SpiritedWork at OSonOS.

As regards the foreigner\'s fund, I am not sure I fit. I am a US citizen (yes,
cash-thin) residing in Russia...I do, (proud to admit) have a very good track
record of sharing with colleagues in Russia what I have learned when I have
raised funds to attend trainings/meetings abroad.

***

I want to touch on another topic. One of the fascinating questions for me
remains can we call this OS listserv a community? Can we call the people at
this (or any) OSonOS a community? This question was touched upon at the OSonOS,
but we didn\'t quite fully go there. And that\'s curious.

I realize after having lived in so many \"communities\", I\'m not quite sure what
a community without quotations is. And if the OSlist is not a community -- as
implicit by very strong postings on this question in the past-- what is it? And
what would it require to be one?

***

I think Zelle\'s point on your speaking with blame, Alex, is well-taken.

I recall feeling rather turned off the first (inaugural) night of the OSonOS.
It was that first stage of \"norming\" within a group. I wanted to see
authenticity with people right off the bat. And it takes some time for our
masks to come off; and even so, we will do that to the level we feel safe
enough to do so.

But, I caught myself being judgemental about that first night and just stayed
with it...

***

Want to say thanks to all the folks who replied off-list regarding praying for
people in the North Caucasus.

***

As for apparent \"weirdness\" during the OSonOS, yes there were things that I
think were unnecessary in terms of form: various exercises and songs to get us
in the now. I felt very uncomfortable in at least one case, and I chose to stay
in the room and participate to the level I felt ready. And, if the \"weirdness\"
were to exceed my discomfort level or I think inappropriate for the group, I
would\'ve said something if that felt like the right thing.

It was fascinating to come to Goa and participate in an OSonOS meeting (my
first time) and know (drawing only on my experience) that what we were
partcipating in in terms of form was not your vanilla OST meeting. I think it
tested many of us.

In terms of closing circle and the exercising of choice (a little bit different
from law of 2 feet), one person expressed to me privately that there were 1-2
people at the closing circle who said things that sounded inauthentic. This
person wanted to ask those people to start all over in what they were saying. I
said to this person that I don\'t see anything wrong with interrupting the flow
of a closing circle to say something important to me. A closing circle for me
is not about all of us feeling warm and fuzzy necessarily. One of the most
\"successful\" OST meetings I ever ran ended with lots of \"I feel disappointed.\"
And that was just where people needed to be.

I have no trouble being the troublemaker if that what makes sense to me. I
didn\'t see any need for me to say anything terribly provocative. I was busy
posting too many sessions and not having time for other people\'s sessions.

I quite like, Lisa, by the way how you have posted sessions in the past. I
recall seeing the session report for one OSonOS: a xerox of a leaf. That
must\'ve been your \"nothing\" session.

***

Is there any way of getting OSlist in digest format without all the html code,
which makes the digest oh-so-long?

***

Warmly,
Raffi Aftandelian

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