Is there a need to hold space for people to ask the question, "what's 1 more thing we need to stop doing?" - long

[Jack Ricchiuto]

Zelle, thanks for your authentic observations. The zen vow I’ve made to my
friends over the past couple of years is: I promise to be unique,
impermanent, and interdependent. I count on their compassion for my living
out this vow, as I hope they can count on my compassion to do the same for
them.

 

Open Space’s law and principles evoke a different social aesthetic than
we’re normally used to – hanging on to situations long past the bandwidth of
our passions, judging ourselves for what we should have done instead.

 

A question from a friend today that seems to be an interesting guide to the
intersection of open space responsibility and passion: What quality does my
soul want me to live more fully?"

 

jack

_/\_

jack ricchiuto

www.designinglife.com

two.one.six/ three.seven.three/ seven.four.seven.five.

 

  _____  

From: Zelle Nelson [mailto:zelle at knowplacelikehome.com] 
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 9:02 PM
To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
Subject: Is there a need to hold space for people to ask the question,
"what's 1 more thing we need to stop doing?" - long

 

Doug,

Maureen says hi back.

Doug wrote: 

"The question does, however, seem to assume that we have a bounded supply of
passion and responsibility. Especially given that in OS we work among
groups, I am not sure that such is necessarily the case...."

Let me clear up some assumptions...

Passion - unlimited

Responsibility - In my experience responsibility is a choice. Each
individual determines on their own how much they are willing to take on.
Often we are able to take on more than we first assume we can handle, but
how much and when we take responsibility is ultimately an internal choice
based on our experience of the external world matched with our experience of
the internal world mixed with the callings of our passions.

Time/Energy/Money (in the context of the earth and human beings) i.e. how we
act out our responsibility -

- For individuals, time/energy/money is finite - whether we look at a day or
a lifetime. 
- For a group, time/energy/money is as abundant as the group decides by
self-organizing around passions. So even if some individuals in a group
become disinterested or die, the original passions that called the group in
the first place can still call and spark other individuals to continue the
actions. The trick is groups are made up of individuals.



Doug wrote...
"Especially given that in OS we work among groups,"

Yes, in OS we do work with groups, yet each group is made up of individuals
who are passionate enough about an invitation (from the invitation that gets
them there to the topics posted in the Market Place of Ideas) to choose to
take the time and use their two feet (i.e. be responsible for the passions
that call us) and join the conversation.

And that's just in OST. At least in Maureen and my experience, these
individuals (especially from corporate land) once they leave the Open Space,
tend to be pulled back by their lives and responsibilities that existed
before they entered into OST. The struggle they face is feeling obligation
towards what was their lives before the OST, and the passions that were
ignited in the Open Space. Often the companies do not remove
responsibilities, but ask these individuals to add to their
responsibilities. 

Too often as individuals (and as organizations) when we take responsibility
for something it is a choice we make once, and stick to it until we are
forced or called (internally or externally) to make a different choice about
where and when to spend our time, energy, and money. And if there is any way
not to let go of a responsibility we don't, because in our society letting
go of a responsibility is like failing, or going back on your word. When we
let go of a responsibility we let go of a piece of ourselves by which we are
defined - he's a great father; she's a wonderful philanthropist; she's a
dedicated business woman; etc. If we stop taking responsibility for those
things we define ourselves by, our identity is in question.

I believe it is important to give people (and organizations) time and space
to examine what they may have to give up in order to follow their newest
passion. They need time and space to reexamine their identities. Who are
they going to be as they walk away from OST? We've left that step to be
taken privately, or without someone to at the very least hold space. Without
being given the space, the waves of the world can flood the sparks that were
lit in OST. Without being given the space there is little opportunity to
replace or weave together the old foundations/ways of doing business/living
with the new foundations/ways of doing business/living discovered during
OST.

I believe there is an opportunity to model living in Open Space. Where we
choose our responsibility as it matches our passions in each moment, rather
than sticking to a responsibility choice made 10 minutes ago or 10 years
ago. 

Some examples...
I've experienced it in Open Space so many times...You go to the Marketplace,
it's session 1, you choose to attend topic Q that looks compelling which
will be held in session 3, you tell your friends you'll definitely be at
topic Q, session 3 rolls around and topic Q that was a passion 3 hours ago
is now not as compelling, or something else has become more compelling, you
don't go to topic Q. In Open Space you've just used your two feet and you
feel good about yourself, where you're going, what you're doing. No one
questions your integrity - they praise you for it. 

That same situation outside of OST...It's 10am, you plan to go to a cafe to
meet some friends at 1pm, you tell others that you're so excited about
meeting your friends at the cafe at 1pm and tell them to join you, 1 pm
rolls around and you've used your two feet and are in the park reading a
great book, you don't go to the cafe. You're not in "formal" Open Space and
your friends wonder where you are, they question your ability to be
responsible, to keep your word, you've failed to do what you said you were
going to do, you might feel guilty.

Thankfully many of my friends do not question where I was, or why I didn't
let them know I wasn't coming after I said I was. They don't question my
integrity. Still, some of them, sometimes, do.

I usually don't question my identity or my ability to be responsible when I
choose a different passion at a moment when I said I was going to be
somewhere else. But sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel guilty for following my
two feet when I'm not in the bounded realm of OST. Sometimes I question my
identity when I'm not somewhere I planned to be, even if I never told anyone
but myself that I would be somewhere or do something at a certain time. And
that's just in a space of 3 or 4 hours. And in my experience, I'm not the
norm in our society. 

What about the person who's done the same thing, held the same kind of
responsibility, for years. Do they have the space to question what passions
they will follow now that they've discovered something new? Will they stop
doing something that has been seen as valuable by themselves, or their
peers, or their organization without the space to even decide to choose
where their passion and responsibility lie?

I believe we have a roll as facilitators to hold that space where people can
answer the questions: "what is our shared vision? what do we need to stop
doing to make space for what we want to start doing? how do we honor what we
will stop doing? and, how do we walk forward and create our future
together?"

What do you think?

With Grace and Love, 

Zelle 

************ 
Zelle Nelson 
Engaging the Soul at Work/Know Place Like Home/State of Grace Document 

www.stateofgracedocument.com 

zelle at maureenandzelle.com 
office - 828.693.0802 
mobile - 847.951.7030 

Ravenswood - Isle of Skye 
2021 Greenville Hwy 
Flat Rock, NC 28731 


Douglas D. Germann, Sr. wrote:



Zelle--
 
(Please say hi to Maureen for me--it has been a long time. And I am glad to
see your posts here--even heard your name at the Giving Conference in
Chicago this weekend--were your ears burning? <grin>)
 
I sat up in my chair when I saw your invitation to reflect on what we need
to give up to make room for what we want to have happen in our lives. It is
a life-giving question. Thank you, Zelle.
 
The question does, however, seem to assume that we have a bounded supply of
passion and responsibility. Especially given that in OS we work among
groups, I am not sure that such is necessarily the case....
 
                              :-Doug. Germann
                              Seeking people making change.
 
*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
 
To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
 
 
  

Original thread:

Harrison,

Thoughtful words - thank you. 

I've talked too many times to count with my wife, OS partner, business
partner, amazing human being, Maureen McCarthy about: after two days/rounds
of OST (primarily conversation about passions and responsibilities, then
more focus and action around what to do now with those p's and r's once we
leave here; tipping our hat to non-convergence as it has become to be known
- thank you Michael and Chris for starting that journey)  to holding a third
day/round asking the question:

Now that we've talked about what we are passionate about, and how we plan
to/are taking responsibility for our passions - what do we need to stop
doing or do less of in order to make space for the ideas and passions we've
just spent two days identifying and expressing?

In the old adage, "what's one more thing not to do" - thanks again Harrison
- lies a way to open more space outside of the "formally" opened space.
Maureen and I have struggled for years, often in corporate land, about
holding an Open Space, or facilitating meetings, or teaching skills which
result in more work for the participants not less. So often when we come
into a situation the organization is looking to improve something, be more
productive, and the organization ends up layering the new foundations/ways
of doing business/living we've opened/held space for them to create on top
of all the old things they've been doing (things that have worked for them)
for years. They're working harder than before. We don't leave time for the
organization to decide an overall plan weaving the past - what we've always
done because in some way shape or form it works, "If it ain't broke, don't
fix it.";  present - incredible passion and ideas and actions developed in
1, 2, or 3 short days of being in the moment; and future - now that we have
multiple ideas, some old, some new on the table, what is our shared vision?
how can we create it together?

I understand that the invitation to do what works and stop doing what
doesn't is implicit in the process of opening space, but we think it's time
to start making that invitation, "What's one more thing not to do?" explicit
not only in "formally" opened space but also in the open space that we are
all actually living in, every moment. 

Having written all this, maybe the third day/round is started with the
invitation, "what is our shared vision? what do we need to stop doing to
make space for what we want to start doing? how do we honor what we will
stop doing, because it has served us? and, how do we walk forward and create
our future together?

I think this invitation begs the question asked earlier, "is OST simply a
half-way technology?" maybe this third invitation will help us to break the
self-created barrier that is the "formally" opened space that exists in
contrast to the idea that we are always in open space until we impose our
own boundaries and barriers on our lives.

What does everyone think about this?

With Grace and Love, 

Zelle 

************ 
Zelle Nelson 
Engaging the Soul at Work/Know Place Like Home/State of Grace Document 

www.stateofgracedocument.com 

zelle at maureenandzelle.com 
office - 828.693.0802 
mobile - 847.951.7030 

Ravenswood - Isle of Skye 
2021 Greenville Hwy 
Flat Rock, NC 28731 
Harrison Owen wrote:



Zelle -- I think you have hit the nail precisely on the head. We need all
the help we can get when it come to being fully and productively in the
moment -- a clear witness to the ongoing power of self organization. I think
it also becomes clear that the task is also a very simple one -- Just be in
the moment. No learning, no technique will get us there, and while all (AI,
Dialogue etc) can be helpful in terms of pointing us in the right direction,
helping with first steps, reminding us of what is important . . . At the end
of the day you just have to Do it. In my own experience, there comes a point
when the details and complexities of the techniques (approaches) stand in
the way of the experience. Case(s) in point were the several instances when
a colleague suggested doing a Dialogue in the midst of an Open Space.
Although I deeply respect the process and the thought/research that lies
behind it -- I also found the experience annoyingly restrictive. Doubtless
my annoyance arose from my innately prickly personality -- but I found
myself wondering why we were engaged in this elaborate process when dialogue
(small "d") was happening all around us, all by itself. Don't talk about it,
don't think about it, don't "process it" -- just do it. I have had the same
experience with AI. There is absolutely no question that the insights and
approach embodied in AI can and does bring a group of people to some good
places they may never have visited before. But again -- when difference is
appreciated as a matter of course -- as often seems to be the case in Open
Space (self-organizing system) why not just appreciate the appreciation?

 

My real hope in raising some the issues that I have was/is to open some
space beyond Open Space Technology, Appreciative Inquiry, Dialogue,
Community building and the like. If it is true that difference is
appreciated, deep conversation achieved, community enlivened, etc -- all as
the natural concomitant of a well functioning self-organizing system -- how
do we build on that? This is not so much a matter of "doing a better Open
Space" -- but rather doing better in the open space of our lives. In "The
Practice of Peace" I attempted to use what I perceive to be the learnings
from Open Space (start with invitation, convene a circle, welcome passion
and responsibility) as a first approximation. But I think it is only that, a
first approximation. Where do we go from here?

 

Harrison

----- Original Message ----- 

From: Zelle <mailto:zelle at knowplacelikehome.com>  Nelson 

To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 

Sent: Monday, July 12, 2004 6:25 PM

Subject: Re: the dark side of circle practices -- and related themes

 


some thoughts on our role as facilitator...

Harrison Owen wrote:



...And what about all those other great experiments -- Dialogue,
Appreciative
Inquiry, Community Building, and I suppose "Circle practices" (although I am
not quite sure what they are)? Speaking just for my self -- I must say that
each of these have been profound teachers. From the practitioners of
Dialogue I have learned what intense and productive communication can be
like. From Appreciative Inquiry I have learned the incredible power of a
positive, appreciate approach to my fellow human beings. And from Scott Peck
and Co. I have learned much about the nature and function of effective human
community. Each of these has opened my eyes, sharpened my attention, and
raised my expectations in terms of what and how we can function at optimal
levels both individually and collectively. But my deepest learning occurs
when with open sharpened,  eyes I see exactly the same things happening in
Open Space -- all by themselves, and all without the overt intervention of
some prescribed, facilitated process. I find my emerging conclusion to be
basically mind-blowing -- although some may take it to mean that I have
blown (lost) my mind. It seems to me that genuine dialogue, deep
appreciation of difference, and the manifestation of real community are all
the natural concomitants of any fully functional self-organizing system. If
this is true, the real focus should be on enabling/allowing the
self-organizing system (which we all are) to do what it alone can do --
rather than trying to "fix" apparent and real problems encountered along the
way with special interventions and added processes, as fascinating as those
processes and interventions might be. As I said, Don't fix it if it ain't
broke -- just make sure that "it" (good old self organizing system) has
plenty of time and space in which to breath.
 
Harrison
 
  

Zelle writes:

I'm oscillating between two prime pillars: 1) Learning and adopting tools
(Appreciative Inquiry, Dialog, etc.) to help us interact ultimately in a
state of grace*** 2) Living, being, experiencing as our path to learning and
as a way of life.

***sidebar*** Living in a State of Grace means coming from a place where
peace is our ultimate goal in any relationship rather than striving to keep
the status quo of a relationship at any cost. When we hold onto our idea of
a relationship at any cost we are coming from a place of fear - fear of
loss, fear of pain - Living in a State of Grace does not mean we hold the
relationship as a sacred cow, but rather we hold the people involved as
sacred. I never want to see you walking down the street and feel I need to
cross over to the other side to avoid talking to you, whether we agree on
certain issues or not. To learn more about how to more fully live in a State
of Grace visit www.stateofgracedocument.com***

The way of being I hold is a paradox. In Open Space I can use the tools I've
learned towards better relationships with others and myself. And I can
practice being in Open Space, living as the waves and tides of my internal
and external world compel me to move, act, speak, listen, and be. I seek to
live by the principles of Open Space, since I see the act of formally
opening space as an acknowledgment of what is already out there to be lived.
I need neither skills nor advanced training to take responsibility for
myself and my passions, yet in my experience, I more richly engage in
bountiful relationships when I utilize skills and tools which I have been
taught or have created to facilitate living the reality of responsibility
and passion.

To address what Harrison wrote:  

"It seems to me that genuine dialogue, deep
appreciation of difference, and the manifestation of real community are all
the natural concomitants of any fully functional self-organizing system. If
this is true, the real focus should be on enabling/allowing the
self-organizing system (which we all are) to do what it alone can do --
rather than trying to "fix" apparent and real problems encountered along the
way with special interventions and added processes, as fascinating as those
processes and interventions might be."

Having learned many skills and tools which enable me to better know how I
wish to be in relationship with others has greatly enhanced my ability to
act and move within a "formally" - being in circle, stating the law and
principles, creating a marketplace of ideas - opened space. I am more "fully
functional" within a "self-organizing system" because of the tools I have
learned. Leaving space open for others to learn techniques within the bounds
of a "formally" opened space, in my experience, can be beneficial. Our
challenge as facilitators of Open Space is to know when to hold um and know
when to fold um - know when to offer aid in facilitating dynamically
changing relationships and when to simply hold space for each individual to
find their own way and their own learning. As I've seen from posts here and
heard from discussions with colleagues the ultimate path to knowing when to
do what comes full circle back to following our passion and our
responsibility on an individual basis as spirit arises. 

When "formally" holding space I like to provide opportunities for topics to
be posted relevant to facilitating the resolution of the questions addressed
in the invitation, including opportunities for learning tools and processes
that foster fruitful relationships. These opportunities must, in my opinion
be as voluntary as the other topics which arise. Often these opportunities
are offered outside of the "formally" opened space and are not a
prerequisite of being involved in an Open Space event.

In my experience once I "formally" open space I rarely do anything but hold
space and try to bounce back any attempts to bring me in to facilitate a
discussion, by saying something like, "This part of the meeting is yours.
You have the ability and the responsibility to follow your own two feet and
solve problems and challenges on your own." Outside of "formally" opened
space I tend to still stay out of trying to "teach" something that I "know"
unless I am invited to do so.

In my experience tools and skills which help us to be more fully present in
dynamic relationships (Appreciative Inquiry, Dialogue, State of Grace
Documents, Byron Katie's Loving What Is) focus on 

"enabling/allowing the self-organizing system (which we all are) to do what
it alone can do"

Do we need these tools to be and self-organize into active, responsible,
passionate bodies? - No. Do these tools enable and allow self organizing
systems to be more fulfilling, fruitful, and rewarding? - In my experience,
Yes. As long as these tools and skills are not "required" as a ticket for
admission into a seemingly open space.

With Grace and Love, 

Zelle 

************ 
Zelle Nelson 
Engaging the Soul at Work/Know Place Like Home/State of Grace Document 

www.stateofgracedocument.com 

zelle at maureenandzelle.com 
office - 828.693.0802 
mobile - 847.951.7030 

Ravenswood - Isle of Skye 
2021 Greenville Hwy 
Flat Rock, NC 28731 



----- Original Message -----
From: "Artur Silva"  <mailto:arturfsilva at yahoo.com> <arturfsilva at yahoo.com>
To:  <mailto:OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
<OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
Sent: Friday, July 09, 2004 1:00 PM
Subject: Re: the dark side of circle practices
 
 
  

--- chris macrae  <mailto:wcbn007 at easynet.co.uk> <wcbn007 at easynet.co.uk>
wrote:
 
    

The process starts erring to absolute democracy of
everyone must have
equal time contributions to speak at each phase
      

(...) In other
    

word's the circle's communal harmony ... can
      

co-create such
    

deep love of nice
behaviours to each other that it misses the biggest
spiral out above our
communal thinking's common denominator
      

That's interesting, Chris.
 
I have been, at times, in situations like that one -
circles (or squares) where everyone must "be in
place", must "speak in his turn" and must have a "nice
behavior".
 
They call this democratic, but in fact it is a
dictatorship. In a democracy I can stay silent if I
want. When everyone is obliged to speak that is not
democratic. This can be a "rules' dictatorship"
(created by the rules previously defined,) a "leader's
dictatorship" (the leader(s) imposes that everyone
must speak), or even a more interesting type - a
"majority's dictatorship" (where the rule is created
at the moment by the majority).
 
Apart from claiming to be democratic, this type of
groups/sessions also claim that they are following
"good principles". The two I have heard more often are
"appreciation" (like in "appreciative inquiry") and
"dialog".
 
Democracy (and Open Space) are made of dialogs AND of
discussions. If one suppresses discussion and impose
dialog (as in "everyone must be nice to each other and
hear the other with appreciation") then there is no
democracy and no open space, I think.
 
Apart from the fact that there are some people that I
don't want to hear with appreciation (say, Bush, to
give only one example) the point is even more strange.
"Playing the appreciative game" (an expression I have
created just know) is only one form of "playing games"
- and that is the essence of Argyris and Schon's Model
1.
 
If, in a meeting or organization, one imposes dialog
and appreciation, then a close session or organization
will come to place.
 
Artur
 
PS: I never heard to call this "circle" and even less
Open Space. But I would not be too surprised if some
would call that. I have already referred to a
respectable group of practitioners of "Communities of
Practice", USA based, that not long ago claimed that
they had used "Open Space" (OST) in a meeting because:
 
- they assembled in a circle
- they gave participants the opportunity to ADD issues
to a large group of issues pre-prepared by the
organizers
- they divided the large group in small groups to
discuss those issues (by choice of the organizers, if
I recall well - but I recall well that there was no
reference to "the law" - people were not expected to
leave their group! That would not be considered
"appreciative" to the other group members, I
suspect...)
 
But don't worry about what some people do "in your
name", Harrison. You can always remember what some
have done (and are doing) in His name. And at least
about you I know that you exists - something I am not
prepared to say about the Other...
        





--
ÐÏ à¡± á






--
ÐÏ à¡± á
* * ==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU ------------------------------ To subscribe,
unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of
oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about
OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist

*
*
==========================================================
OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU
------------------------------
To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options,
view the archives of oslist at listserv.boisestate.edu:
http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html

To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs:
http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.openspacetech.org/pipermail/oslist-openspacetech.org/attachments/20040715/82f2f503/attachment-0016.htm>