Please help me think this through...

[Lilly Evans]

This series of messages is very timely to me.  As an
experienced coach and facilitator (including OS), I
have been craving a proper scientific basis for
our work.  Ok, quantum physics, chaos theory and complexity
offer analogues, but that is not enough.

So, I am very pleased to be currently on the program
which is based on the Positive Psychology scientific findings
where the researchers and practitioners are working together
and developing new tools and approaches to test.

Recently, we addressed exactly the issues spoken of here.
However, the angle was somewhat different in that we spoke
first of Forgiveness.  Only after did we address the question
of Justice.  The Apology did not figure at all.  And from the
conversation here, I see why.

We are talking here about issues from the past.  What happened
can not be undone.  Yet, our memories of what occured can be
changed.  The only thing that needs to happen is for us
personally to take responsibility to reframing our own
memories.  And, this comes with Forgiveness.  The act of
forgiveness is a selfish act - it frees the person from the
burden of anger, sadness, being stuck!

Now, here is a conundrum that we struggled with on the program.
By forgiving, do we reduce justice in the world?  Namely, my
forgiving someone who wronged me (or the world) does not have
any effect on him/her nor does it stop them from doing the same
again.

In the lecture someone mentioned Dalai Lama and what he said when
asked about Chinese occupation of Tibet.   I paraphrase:
"They have stolen my country, I will not allow them to steal
my mind (by being angry and dwelling on it)."

So, we come back to Michael and his point about direct connections
between people.  A place where we listen with deep desire to meet
the soul of another, to hear their voice and understand their world.
Place where we hold each other as sacred human beings, unique and
equally valuable. As a start, I can ask my daughter's best friend
(who has family in Bagdad) to connect me with some of her relatives!

Finally, I come from Jewish tradition where our rituals contunially
remind us to forgive but NEVER to forget.  And, I have to say that it is
not easy but it is enormously liberating.


Lilly Evans

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