Unintend Consequences, Collateral Damage and Truth Telling

[Funda Oral]

Maybe the question is " can we open more space in our hearts for conflict and respect those who are in conflict?"

Lisa's and Harrison's reactions reminded me the difference between male& female dealing with conflict.

I am new to OS and am not as experienced as many of you but I am still writing my opinions wishing that I can also share my 
OS experiences in a near future.     

greetings from Istanbul, a very beautifull,chaotic city, full of conflict.

Funda
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Harrison Owen 
  To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 
  Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2004 3:58 PM
  Subject: Re: Unintend Consequences, Collateral Damage and Truth Telling


  Doug -- I am not so sure that this is really a fork in the road -- somehow that image is just too linear, suggesting that there is a single road. It feels to me rather more like a deepening of the experience, or maybe broadening and deepening. An image I would feel more comfortable with is "an expansion of the circle." So it is nothing new -- but rather more and deeper. That may be splitting hairs, but it enables me to deal with your coments about "the secret tool bag." I don't think there are any secrets, it is just that we have never noticed before. I think we have all noticed that in Open Space, conflict of all sorts is dealt with in usefuol and productive fashions. Indeed, I have never encountered a situation where it was necessary to intervene and resolve (mediate) the conflict. The group has always been able to handle the situation, and usually learns from it PROVIDED they have plenty of space/time to work in. So our function (my function) -- is to open space, and keep it open. And when it appears that the space is too small (clostrophobia is imanent) -- the answer is quite simple  -- open more space. And on rare occasions that means opening a LOT more space. I think this is what I did. In the case of the Israelis and Palestinians, my action was purely intuitive. I suppose I could have given some explanation at the time, but truthfully, I would have been grasping at straws. I honestly didn't KNOW what to do, as in knowing a particular technique or approach. And I definitely found myself in the space Toke speaks of ("- meaning that I connect to this detached place in me where I do not need to look good, be popular, be responsible for  the agreed outcome or pleasing peoples and my own fears - and I let go to it somehow....."). From a personal point of view, this was definitely a growth moment -- and while I certainly benefited from it, it is not something that I would look forward to every day. In the second situation I described (with the non-profit), I did have some idea of what to do, but I must confess that my anxiety level was right up there. In fact the night before I found sleep a sometime thing, but as Toke points out the object of real concern was not (in the first instance) them, but me. It took me most of the night to find that detached place -- that centered space from which I could open a whole mess of space for others. 
   
  Last thought. I don't think I was describing a new way to conclude and Open Space. If anything it was more about kick starting the whole operation with a radical re-opening of Space. It was also about giving everybody the clear opportunity to make their own choices in a way that placed the responsibility for that choice totally on them. Did they choose to go on -- or drop out? No blame either way, but the choice was theirs. It is true that I left the circle, but I promised to come back in one hour (seemed like a reasonable time). All those who chose to do so could come back. And anybody who found something else to do would be missed, but not judged. I have to say that hour (in both situations) felt like almost an eternity. However, I never felt like I was leaving the space, only the circle, which I think is important. If anything I sensed a deeper connection with the participants.
   
  Harrison


    ----- Original Message ----- 
    From: Douglas D. Germann, Sr. 
    To: OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU 
    Sent: Saturday, August 21, 2004 11:53 PM
    Subject: Unintend Consequences, Collateral Damage and Truth Telling


    Harrison--

    It seems to me you have invented a different way to conclude OST. I think
    there are 3 ways that are talked about here on the list:

    1. Convergence (the first way).

    2. Reopening the space for action planning (Chris Corrigan's way).

    3. Opening breathing room (for times of shock).

    So we have a fork in the OST road, and (no) surprise--we have choices!

    It seems to me that opening space is something everybody should be able to
    do--and indeed we all do it all the time. In other words, there are no
    experts keeping the secrets to themselves. Yet this last one seems to be in
    the secret tool bag of the practitioner. Is it not known to all of us that
    when there is a fire in the circle, we must stop what we are doing and
    evacuate the room? (Or something on that order?)

    So, how do we, when do we, tell our people about it, share it with the
    world? This one needs to be explored further, and the learning shared, yes?

                                  :-Doug.
                                  Seeking people making change.

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