Conversing about..."the right conditions" (fwd)

Ashley Cooper ashcooper at earthlink.net
Sat Sep 13 09:24:28 PDT 2003


I would take it one step further
and say that you should not just *accept* what happens, you should
*appreciate* it.

I agree with you Alexander,

I think that acceptance as you described it occurs largely within the head
while appreciation definitely lives within the heart.

ashley


> [Original Message]
> From: Alexander Kjerulf <alexander at kjerulf.com>
> To: <OSLIST at LISTSERV.BOISESTATE.EDU>
> Date: 9/13/2003 4:09:46 AM
> Subject: Re: Conversing about..."the right conditions" (fwd)
>
> I agree totally - acceptance of what happened is a pre-requisite for
> learning from what happened. Actually I would take it one step further
> and say that you should not just *accept* what happens, you should
> *appreciate* it. To me acceptance means "yeah OK, I can live with that",
> while appreciation means "I appreciate this happening right now, with
> all the good AND bad implications". Does anybody else see this
distinction?
>
> To take it one step further, acceptance seems to me to be a little more
> passive whereas appreciating something is an active, conscious decision
> to find the good in that thing. And to me at least, appreciating what
> happens puts me in a learning mode.
>
> Marei's post cleared one more thing up for me, namely that my thinking
> has been "Hey, if everyone just accepts whatever happens, nobody will
> ever learn." But nobody reacts that way do they? We humans are learning
> machines, we can't NOT learn.
>
> Cheers
>
> Alexander
>
> Marei Kiele wrote:
>
> > About letting go and getting things done, about accepting and learning
> > and about past, future and Now - I've been thinking a lot these last
> > two days. And Chris, Ted, Alexander, Lisa, Shay and Harrison - thank
> > you so much for sharing, your thoughts have been extremely helpful to
me.
> >
> > With accepting what happened I find myself doing better and better.
> > But letting go plans and dreams and visions for the future - this
> > seemed to be not only hard but not even desirable.
> >
> > And then today, just by the way, I recognized two voices in me (kind
> > of arguing). And I want to ask if any of you knows these voices, too.
> > One of them saying: If you are not heading for a better future and not
> > working hard on it (not only for yourself but for others) - you are
> > just not worth living the life you live (thanks Lisa for our
> > conversation in Bramstrup). And I decided not to agree with that voice.
> >
> > And the other one was saying: If you don't concentrate on what you do
> > and on what you're aiming for and work hard for it you will never
> > reach anything.
> > And suddenly I realized that this voice is a relative of those saying,
> > open space will not work because we always need somebody being in
> > charge and controlling the work. And I said no to that voice, too.
> >
> > The thought popped up in my mind that perhaps we don't have to plan
> > and concentrate on learning. Maybe accepting and learning is just ONE
> > thing - not two different. Maybe when I am open and live with an
> > expanded Now my learning happens by the way.
> > For example I remember learning English: In which situation my
> > learning is more fun and even more sucessful? If I concentrate on my
> > “mistakes” and on what vocabulary I “should” use next time? Or if I
> > just talk and am open to the impressions around me? I do remember my
> > English beeing most fluent when I am authentic, not controlling
> > myself, not controlling the outcome. If I just DO (as Chris sujested)
> > and go step by step - suddenly I've got things done.
> >
> > One of the sentences I love in “Expanding Our Now” is: “Somewhere
> > along the line we came up with the absurd notion that if everybody did
> > just what they wanted to, nothing would get done.” (S.33).
> > Referring to this I wish to say: “Somewhere along the line we came up
> > with the absurd notion that if we accepted what happened, we would
> > never learn.”
> >
> > But we do - and better than ever, don't we?
> >
> > Marei
> >
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>
> --
> Alexander Kjerulf
> www.kjerulf.com
> alexander at kjerulf.com
> Tagensvej 126, lejl. 102
> 2200 København N.
> +45 2688 2373
>
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>
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