help, please

[Julie Smith]

Thank you, florian, for reminding me that not-knowing can be a state of
great integrity.  Though I have practiced not-knowing about the content
of issues for many years, I haven't given much thought to not-knowing
about the process a group will benefit most by.  Now that I see it, it's
all very simple, but I just hadn't put the pieces together yet.  Thank
you for helping bring me back to the empty, open state that allows me to
simply be present and open to whatever unfolds.  It is a great relief to
remember I can enter the planning process openly not-knowing, knowing we
will have the capacity to find our way once we begin.

And thank you, Brendan, for reminding me that we connect with others on
many levels, that the work may be deeper than we had imagined, and that
we may have support that far exceeds our understanding.  I also
appreciate the insight that the planning is a vital part of the process.


In hindsight, it's very interesting for me to observe how the original
request took me so quickly so far from all that I already know.  I was
immediately pulled into feeling like I had to have answers, even though
all the work I have done for so long has been about not having answers,
but being present and when appropriate, asking questions.  Hmmmmmm......
that's not quite accurate.  I've spent a lot of time having the process
"answer."  I think this experience is helping me get unstuck from my
rigid thinking about process.  I'm thinking I want to explore being just
as creative with process as I am with content.  I want to practice that
state of empty not-knowing that creates space for ourSelves to emerge in
sometimes new and unexpected ways.

Yes, Jack, this is all about Open Space as a way of being in all the
moments of our lives.  For me, integrating what we call Open Space into
all our moments means we have to expand our definition of Open Space.
We have to remove the distinction between facilitator and participant
and acknowledge we're all essential aspects of the whole; which means we
have to rid ourselves of rules about who speaks and who doesn't, and
instead practice the art of discernment, of relying on our inner knowing
on a moment-to-moment basis to guide us about everything, including when
it is our time to be silent, and when to speak.

I have no objection to OST being practiced exactly as it has been
described by Harrison and others, as long as that is what feels right in
the moment.  I'm simply trying to give voice to my experience which is
that sometimes when I'm in OST as a facilitator, I feel pulled into
viewing myself, as I view everyone else, as an integral, essential,
engaged part of the group. For me, this rarely has anything to do with
content because I'm usually unconcerned with content.  My concern is
almost always about relationships.  I find myself wanting to support
efforts to communicate more effectively, to help people transcend the
misunderstandings that are impeding their understanding of each other.
I've resisted the impulse to engage even on this level because I know
I'm not "supposed" to.  I'm just trying to articulate the idea that
maybe the expectation that the facilitator not engage is yet another
something to let go of.  And if we let go of that, it becomes easier to
imagine how to integrate the values of OST into all aspects of our
lives.

Jaime, it was wonderful to hear from you, and to know you are out there
bumblebeeing about. I hope we hear more from you about your experiences
in Bolivia. I read some of Berne's work a long time ago, but don't
recall how TA works.  I would be interested in learning more if you care
to describe it.

Thanks to everyone for holding this very open and safe space for
exploring the questions that perplex us.  Sometimes I think I'm terribly
slow and dim-witted, but I don't know how else to move forward except by
fully entering the question that appears in front of me.  Even when I
think I've got something figured out, it cycles back again and I realize
I have more work to do.  Thank you, everyone, for providing this space
for reflection, sharing, support, and learning.

Julie

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